Look back at previous generations, and you’ll see people who worked hard to meet their basic needs.  Fast-forward to today’s teens… and you find almost the exact opposite.

Generally speaking, today’s generation of young adults are some of the most entitled and irresponsible people on the planet.  They stay immature long into their twenties, they treat people disrespectfully, and they basically refuse to grow up.  All their basic needs are met… so why change?

Well, as long as parents are willing to serve everything up on a silver platter for their kid, they unintentionally postpone the development of their teen!

Are you looking to infuse some independence and maturity?  Try holding back on a few things… and let your children stretch their muscles to fulfill their own desires.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Like you, I know many families who’ve experienced divorce and remarriage.  I know kids who’ve been adopted.  And I know kids who are still healing from a splintered relationship with mom or dad.

If you have a blended family or perhaps one of your kids is adopted, it’s important to remember that people don’t heal overnight.  A relational upheaval will create scars on a child’s heart that can’t be ignored.

It doesn’t mean that blended families or adoption aren’t a gift from God!  They just take special care.  Regardless of how good things are, your child may experience grief because of a lost relationship.  And that’s okay.

Remember that God is grafting together a new and beautiful family right now… that can become an infinite source of healing and joy.  But healing takes time!

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Whose side are you on?  I mean, when it comes to family dynamics… are you for your kids?  Or against them?

So, mom and dad, you’ve established rules.  You’ve agreed up on consequences and communicated the expectations to your kids.  Good.  But what have you done recently to communicate that you’re all on the same team?

Sometimes it’s good to give your child something you’ve withheld for a long time.  It’ll show her that you are for her, not against her.  Surprise your child… and she might just surprise you with her response!

Remember… we’re all working toward the same goal— to end up with a well rounded, independent young adult.  That’s how everybody wins!

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Whether you’ve talked about it in your family or not, you certainly live by them!  So… what are the behavior policies in your home?

Mom, dad, take time to list the ten most important issues in your home… the top things that you’re willing to build rules around.  Then build a family policy around each.  Here’s a sample list from my home …

Disrespect

Dishonesty

Alcohol

Or inappropriate Internet activity

They might be different for your home… but the point is … you need to think about, write down, and communicate your non-negotiable issues.  Then …decide what the consequences will be if your child crosses the line.

Clear boundaries will curtail lots of grief in the future.  And …clarity in your convictions will help your child develop boundaries of his or her own.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Student Story: Harrison

Your teen is becoming more independent—which means occasionally, they’re going to make mistakes. How do you respond when your kid breaks your heart?

This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston brings insight into what teens need when they hurt the ones they love and how you can help in the midst of the hurt.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Of all the billions of people on this planet, God chose you to parent your child.

Whether you have birth- children, adopted children, grandchildren or a niece or nephew… God has converged your life with theirs for a reason.  That means you have unique insights, wisdom, talents, skills, and values to give your child.

In a day when kids have access to all kinds of entertainment… it’s easy for parents to feel they can’t compete.  But kids really do want more than video games, Facebook and movies.  Teens are hardwired to belong.  In fact, they crave belonging!  And even when they don’t always show it, they crave belonging to you.

Remember… God chose you to parent your child.  Make sure your teen fully understands the extent of their sacred position in your heart.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

When traveling to a foreign country, you may employ a translator… someone to help you understand what’s going on around you.  Well, for some of us, it seems like our kids are speaking a foreign language right at home!  Need help understanding what’s going on?

I’ve met a lot of parents who give well- meaning advice to their children… but it’s interpreted much differently than it was intended.  The kid barks some kind of defensive comment… and parents are left wondering, What did I say wrong?

At this point it’s helpful to put yourself in your teen’s shoes… to “translate” your comments, if you will.  You might be surprised that your well- intentioned comments actually came across as judgmental.

Next time, pause and translate your comments before you speak!

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

James chapter 1 commands us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”  It’s a tall order, isn’t it?  Especially with teens in the house!

I love that verse because it communicates something I see everyday.  When parents jump to conclusions or begin lecturing before they’ve listened… it does more harm than good.

So, mom … dad …when your teen acts up, ask questions first.  Be “quick to listen.”  Her actions may signal an issue or incident you haven’t heard about yet.  Maybe it’s her way of communicating a loss or painful circumstance that needs attention.  She’s using her actions to alert you… rather than her words.

So, as James tells us, let’s be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry!

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

How much TV do you watch as a family?  Do you have movie nights with the kids?

I know it’s not always easy to agree on good movies with your teenager.  But make an effort to watch things with them.  Not for your own entertainment …but to give you a front row seat to hear what their world is like.  And you can talk about the movie as the credits roll.  Kick around the moral issues featured in the film.  Lob open-ended questions about whether or not your kids would act, choose or say the same things as the main character.

Here’s an opportunity for you, mom and dad, to connect with your teen, spend time together, and help your child become morally discerning and media- literate!

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Kids require correction.  From their toddler years to their teenage years, they need guidance and discipline.

For the most part, I meet parents who have discipline down pat.  They know how to instruct, enforce and correct.  But where they fall short… is the relationship.  They tend to mistake arguments for conversation and living under the same roof for spending quality time together.

But without having a deep and lasting connection with your teen— before the need for discipline arises— you’ll find your eloquent lectures entirely ineffective!

If your relationship with your son or daughter is broken or damaged… take time to repair it.  Your pearls of wisdom can only be received when it comes from a foundation of a healthy relationship.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.