Ever slapped a punishment on your kid because you were mad?  Ever reacted to the situation before thinking?  If you’re like me, you can answer, “yes”!

Spur of the moment discipline isn’t the wisest parenting move.  It may make us feel better when our fifteen- year- old really messed up.  But it doesn’t necessarily build long- term, positive lessons for the kids.  Popping off under pressure is generally counter-productive.

Instead, set rules and consequences beforehand… making sure they’re in line with what you believe.  Then, when things get heated and tense, you’ll already have the details laid out.  You won’t have to act out of anger… or do damage to your relationship.

So next time… count to ten …and let your plan unfold!

 

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You’ve got rules at home.  You enforce them.  And when one of the children crosses the line, they pay the consequences.  Right?

It’s true for everyone.  If you’re in a family, you deal with discipline issues.  But I want to take just a moment to remind you of what’s behind those rules and consequences.  The root of discipline is this:  Mom and Dad, you’re helping your child get to a place he wants to be… and keeping him away from a place he doesn’t want to end up.

Next time you find yourself buried in the nitty- gritty daily details of enforcing rules at home, remember this:  there’s purpose behind your actions.  And discipline, combined with relationship, lead to a really good place.

 

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Student Story: Kiley

Does it feel like you’ve lost control over your teen? Maybe that’s good thing! Good parenting involves releasing your grip and allowing for mistakes.

This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston discusses the risks and rewards of giving up control—without giving up reasonable boundaries.

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Nobody’s perfect.  Nobody makes it through life without hurting others… and getting hurt in the process.  Relationships are messy.

If you have a teen in your family, you know what it feels like to be hurt, disrespected or ignored.  But you have a choice in the middle of all this.  You can love your kids, even when you feel like they don’t deserve it.

Like I said.  Relationships are messy.  And I’ve learned over the years that if I walk away from someone every time they offend me… I allow their actions to determine the future of our relationship.  That’s not what any parent wants.

This time around… choose to show love… even when the kids don’t deserve it.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

I talk to a lot of parents who feel like their home is a virtual war zone.  The teens are lobbing emotional grenades.  And it isn’t pretty.

I completely understand the analogy.  Every day feels like a painful battle.  And too often you may feel like a casualty.

But I’d encourage you to step back.  Take a look at the battles that are raging in your home.  Are they worth fighting for?  If it’s an attack on your respect or belief system, then you need to confront it.  But if it’s dumb stuff …you probably need to let it go.

Pick your battles wisely.  Try to zero in on the things that are most important.  Even though it gets intense from time to time, no one needs to lose the war.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Ever had a warning light come up on your dashboard?  Hey, when the radiator’s boiling, it’s time to pull over!

Just as you would pay attention to …and act on …a warning in your car, we need to pay attention to the warning light in relationships!  When a teen is boiling over with anger… that should be a flashing light on our control panel.  Pay attention!

Ignoring the simmering tempers… or putting off conflict… will simply make the situation worse.  In fact, it has the potential to put up walls in a relationship… and ignoring the signals opens the door for issues to get out of hand.

So, when anger bubbles up inside your home… don’t disengage from your teen.  Now’s the time to pay attention to the warning light… pull over …and start talkin’!

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Ever heard those words before?  “Everyone else does it.  Why can’t I?”

Your children will be surrounded by families with different boundaries and privileges.  But don’t cave to their standards.  Stick with what you believe!

And when the kids under your roof complain about your rules on cell phones, church attendance, Internet access, movies, dating or anything else… talk about it!  Discuss why you made the rules you did.  Communicate your beliefs— and the purpose behind your expectations.

Then, I suggest, every year you revisit these privileges.  Slowly let the rope out and allow more responsibility for your child.

Even though your rules aren’t always popular with teens… stick to your guns, know why you enforce things… and communicate your expectations!

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Were your parents strict?  I grew up in a military- style home… but I don’t recommend it for most families today!

When moms and dads are strict and in control, many kids are well behaved… yet feel a deep-seated contempt for their parents.  If provoked … through things like isolation, authoritarian discipline and over-the-top sternness… kid’s will act out!

I’ve seen it so many times.  A parent imposes impossible limitations.  Maybe dad is proving how much he’s in control.  Then the son, who’s anger has been simmering for years… eventually blows up just to show that he’s in control.  It’s a mess.  But I’ve seen it over and over again in hurting families.

So… what’s your style?  If you’ve become a die-hard authoritarian … you could be in the danger zone!

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

Student Story: Ava

Before you utter another word to your teen, ask yourself: “Why am I doing this? Is this discussion more about me, or them?”

This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston offers eight practical keys to make your conversations fruitful and free flowing—so that they lead to the positive results you seek.

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.

The mark of a good parent is not necessarily a good kid who never gets into trouble, makes a bad decision, or fails a class.

The mark of good parenting is not only determined by the way a child acts at home during their teen years… but also how a child engages and responds during their adult years.  You see, this is a marathon… not a fifty- yard dash!

Your teen may make some embarrassing mistakes, but when you move toward them in love, even when it’s hard … you’ll sow the seeds for a healthy relationship that endures for years.

Hey, wouldn’t you want a well- balanced adult child who messed up in his teens… rather than a perfect kid who fell apart in his thirties?

Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint.

 

If you listen on a mobile phone or tablet, please download our Parenting Today’s Teens app available for Apple or Android. If you listen on a desktop or laptop computer, press the “play” button above to enjoy daily parenting advice.