Parenting Today's Teens

Single parenting is tough—especially when you’re parenting a teen! So, how can single moms navigate the unique challenge of raising adolescents? This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston offers help and hope to single moms, and gives advice on how to connect with their teens.

There are three “C’s” in every teenager’s home: change, conflict … and chaos!

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

After living with teens and working with their families for three decades … I am well acquainted with each of these “C’s”! But let me say this: one of them is avoidable!

When kids grow, change is necessary. Mom and Dad need to flex in order to keep connecting with and training their kids. Then, in every family there will be conflict. Sometimes it comes because a teen is changing. Sometime it comes simply because we’re human.

But chaos … that’s the “C” that doesn’t have to rule your home. Change is scary. And conflict is even worse. But running from change and conflict will only lead to chaos!

No parent ever dreams that their child might experiment with drugs, alcohol or some other dangerous activity. But the reality is … it happens every day. So how can we see past the crushing feelings of grief or betrayal … and help our teens get to a better place?

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Once you’ve discovered the truth about your child’s behavior, let it sink in for a few days … and give yourself time to pray and seek counsel.

Then, as soon as you’re ready, confront the issue with your teen. I recommend setting up three separate meetings to expose problems, express feelings, and discuss expectations.

Finally, trust that God will give direction as you walk along the path of this conflict. He promises to stay by your side every step of the way.

Did you know that in Hartford, Connecticut, it’s illegal to cross the street walking on your hands? Or in Wilbur, Washington, it’s against the law to drive an ugly horse?

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Nothing undermines the power of a rule more than when it’s totally irrelevant and inappropriate.

And just like how politicians need to reevaluate some of those old, crazy laws … parents need to review the rules in their own home to make sure they’re still practical, attainable, and beneficial.

Do you still make your 16- year- old son hold your hand while crossing the street? Or enforce an 8 o’clock curfew with your 18- year- old daughter? Of course not!

So ditch the crazy laws at home! Your teen will be grateful for boundaries that are practical, attainable, and beneficial.

Recently, a parent asked me this question: “If I suspect that my teen is involved in an inappropriate relationship … should I pry into their private life to find out for sure?”

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Now, trusting your teen is important. But if you have a hunch there’s something going on … don’t be afraid to act! A violation of your family policies warrants an invasion of your teen’s privacy until you’re sure you know the truth.

Start by talking with teachers and school officials about their observations. Read your teen’s texts and emails, and check their browsing history or Facebook profile. Listen for clues you might normally overlook in a conversation.

Remember, adolescents are especially vulnerable to being deceived and making poor choices. So it’s up to parents to take precautions now to keep their family from unraveling in the years to come.

When your child says something like, “I wish I’d been born in a different family!” … how do you recover from the hurt?

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

The answer is forgiveness. And if you can grasp this definition, it will make a world of difference in how you handle any struggle with your child.

Here it is: “Forgiveness is giving up hope that you’ll ever have a better past.”

See, your past … and your child’s past … will never change. No one can un-speak the words they’ve spoken … or undo the things they’ve done. But there is still hope for the future!

So learn to forgive your teen in the moment. Give up hope that the past could be different. And no matter what your teen throws at you today … never stop reaching out with love and forgiveness.

With new laws in place, alcohol and marijuana are easier to get ahold of now than ever before. So, how can parents prepare their teens to navigate this world of temptations? This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston addresses the reality of drug and alcohol use in teens and shows parents how to respond.

Setting goals is an effective way to achieve desired results. So Mom, Dad … what are your goals as a parent?

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

In my opinion, parents these days spend too much time trying to make their kids happy … and too little time helping them grow up.

A parent’s job isn’t to be liked … or to bribe their kids into loving them by providing “stuff” on demand. Mom and dad shouldn’t let teens do whatever they want … or try to “relate” by overlooking bad behavior.

Instead, parents should focus on helping their children mature … and leading them to embrace godly thinking and godly actions.

So let me ask the question again: What are your goals as a parent? When you know your objective … you’ll be much more likely to hit it.

When life gets hard, we often want to retreat … to take a break and regroup. It’s natural!

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

You and I know what it’s like to want to escape after a particularly hard day at work. And our teens are the same way. When pressures at school, bullying from classmates, or living in a confusing culture all weigh down our kids … sometimes they just want to retreat into a cave.

Mom and Dad, we can help here. We can provide a home that’s safe and free of the extra pressures your teen feels on a daily basis. Of course, we shouldn’t shield them from everything … nor should we encourage timidity or laziness. But we do want to create a place where teens can process the hardships … and feel loved no matter what.

Parents often ask me if they should share their past with their teen. They say, “Won’t that just encourage them to repeat the mistakes I made?” In my experience, I’ve found just the opposite to be true.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

More than ever, kids today are in desperate need of honest parents who are willing to be vulnerable in sharing their own failures. Teens have a lot to gain from hearing how their parents handled or mishandled decisions at 13, 15 or 17 years of age. And what they learned from those mistakes.

By revealing your brokenness, you demonstrate the end result of making bad decisions. Plus, hurting people are often drawn to the brokenness they sense in another. So sharing your own story gives your teen a safe place to admit their own shortcomings.

Mom and Dad, don’t be afraid to share your past with your teen!