Parenting Today's Teens

Most of the companies we work for have policy manuals. And even though they’re tedious and boring, we choose to follow the rules because otherwise … we’d lose our jobs!

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

The rules within your own family belief system function in a similar way. They help each family member know what’s expected of them. They draw the line between good and bad behavior. And they clearly spell out the consequences for stepping out of bounds.

So help your child understand that the boundaries you set are designed to prevent poor choices from consuming their lives.

Your teen may not like the “family policies” now. But sooner or later, they’ll be thankful that the rules you enforced helped to launch them into a happy and healthy life.

When was the last time you asked your teenager a question that wasn’t “How was your day?” or “What did you do at school today?”

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

I’ve said it a million times. And I’ll probably say it a million times more. “One of the most powerful tools in a parent’s toolbox is a good question.”

Good questions can’t be answered in one word. They convey a sense of value and relationship. And they give your teen the freedom to answer honestly.

So, open up the lines of communication … and ask your son or daughter a really good question. Then, keep your mouth shut long enough to hear their answer.

Remember, questions aren’t just for getting information. They’re for listening to your child's heart!

Parents always want to know … “Is it really possible to have a meaningful, two-way conversation with my teen?” Well, I’m here to tell you … yes, it is!

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Conversation naturally occurs when two people are having fun together. Our counselors at Heartlight will often shoot pool, go for a walk, or play video games with kids during their counseling sessions. And they’ve found that these are the moments when kids really open up.

So find a time when you and your teen can have some fun together … even if it means learning a few new tricks, like air-softing, photography, or video games.

Then zip your lips … and wait to see what happens next.

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

I’ve met a lot of Christian parents who want to follow that verse word-for-word. And I applaud that! The problem comes when these parents believe that simply taking their kids to church every weekend will guarantee a peaceful adolescence. As if kids who are raised in good Christian homes never have any problems.

Well, every one of the teens at Heartlight comes from a quote, un-quote “good Christian home.” And if you think your child is going to be the exception, believe me … you’ll be proven wrong.

Mom, Dad, “train up your child in the way he should go.” And also, prepare for the day he will struggle … because no family is immune.

Thanks to smartphones, there’s never any shortage of information at our teens’ fingertips.

But is information what they’re really longing for?

This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston explains how parents can impart wisdom and truth when kids are on information overload.

It’s normal for your teen to make immature decisions. But if he or she has started making self- destructive choices … it’s time to get some outside help.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Divorce, abuse, a death in the family, or childhood trauma … just about anything can trigger a sudden explosion during adolescence. Most teens haven’t developed the skills they need to handle their emotions. So they turn to dangerous and destructive behaviors in an effort to dull the pain.

I know that moms and dads feel crushed by such behavior from their teen. But sometimes only a professional counselor can bring the underlying cause to the surface.

Have you noticed a drastic change in your child’s behavior? You can’t afford to wait! Get your teen the help he needs today.

Years ago, Jan and I had several teen boys living in our home. Based on the state of their bathroom, I could tell they needed to learn an important life lesson. So I said, “From now on, you need to clean your own toilet and bathroom. Otherwise, you’ll lose it!”

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Unfortunately, the mess got even worse. So one day I just took the entire toilet out! Pretty soon, the smell was too much … even for them. So they came to me and pleaded, “What can we do to get our toilet back?”

In return for a new toilet, the boys cleaned all the bathrooms in the house for a few months. It taught them how to take care of things. But more importantly, they learned that when you break a rule, you pay the consequence.

When life gets hectic, it’s tempting to give our kids the leftovers of our time. But our priorities should really be the other way around.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Hey, I’m right there with you. We’re all busy people who carry the weight of a thousand different responsibilities. But your family needs your time more than they need anything else.

And trust me on this: You’ll never hear someone at the end of their life say, “I wish I had spent more time in the office.” Or, “If only my child had taken more clarinet lessons.”

But you will hear parents say, “I wish I’d spent more time with my family.”

So don’t live with regrets. Throw off the need to be busy 24-7, and grab hold of what truly matters most. Give your son and daughter your time.

What if the last thing you said to your son today … were the last words you ever spoke to him?

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

A sobering thought, isn’t it? No one wants to be remembered for nagging remarks or a judgmental spirit.

I realize that not everything you have to tell your kids will be positive. But you can still compliment your child every day. Tell your son he’s not an intrusion in your life. Tell your daughter that conversations with her are the best part of your day. Or try this powerful phrase my friend Chelsea tells her children: “Even on your messiest day, my life wouldn’t be as good without you.”

Affirmations like this speak right to your teen’s heart. And the loving words from mom or dad are what we hope they’ll remember long after we’re gone.

I’ve never met a young person who didn’t want to be cool. But in cyber world, that’s certainly gotten a lot of kids into trouble!

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Websites like YouTube, Facebook or Twitter offer teens a place to post pictures, videos, comments, rants, you name it. They can share whatever they want with whomever they want. And often, the illusion of privacy makes kids feel safe posting things they would never share in real life.

So Mom, Dad … keep an eye on your teen’s social media use. Let him know you’ll be regularly viewing his Facebook profile, Tumblr account, and any other place he can share content online.

The photos and comments he posts are a lot like tattoos: they’re hard to get rid of, even if they seemed cool at the time.

Let’s help our teens live with no regrets.