Parenting Today's Teens

You raised him well. You taught him strong values. Then one day, your teen made a 180- degree turn down the wrong path. What happened?

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Every child has a free will … just like you. And one of the hardest things for parents to do is let a child make their own decisions and create their own value systems. But through this process, teens discover their identity and become independent.

My friend Chuck Swindoll said: “As kids get older, they grow larger wings to fly. You want to help prepare them so they don’t have a collision in the air while they’re flying.”

While it may be hard to believe at the moment, their poor choices are actually a healthy thing. It’s how teens become mature, well-grounded adults. This is how they prepare to fly.

Thomas Edison tried over ten thousand prototypes before he invented the light bulb. When someone asked about his staggering number of failures, he said this: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Discipline is an important part of every child’s life. It builds character and cultivates honesty, obedience, and respect.

But it isn’t easy! If you’re struggling with discipline, here’s my advice: hang in there! A brighter day is ahead. And you’ll eventually get to the other side of this crazy thing called adolescence.

In the meantime, remember that there’s no “one size fits all” approach to discipline. So don’t think of yourself as a failure when one method—or ten—doesn’t work. But keep trying until you find the one that does.

Ever seen the “Keep Out!” sign on your teen’s door?

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

No parent wants to be pushed out of their child’s life. But moms and dads should understand that the preteen years mark a transition … from a world of positive ideals to an atmosphere of toxic attitudes.

Kids often don’t know how to push away the negative influences entering their lives. So in an effort to protect themselves, they begin to close off the entry points to their heart. The welcome mat that used to be at the door of your child’s heart gets replaced with that “Keep Out” sign.

Mom, Dad … ignoring your child is not an option. As your child goes through this confusing transition, don’t pry … and don’t be obnoxious. Tread lightly. Above all, keep moving toward him or her with love, grace and relationship.

Some days, parenting feels like an endless game of tug-of-war—and neither side is willing to relent! So how should parents respond when teens start fighting for control? This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston helps parents end the battle of wills and strategically relinquish control to their teens.

Ready for a little business lesson?

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Business 1- 0- 1: When you’re thinking about investing in a portfolio … you look at something called the “estimated long- term return.” Even if the numbers don’t look great right now, your investment should have a high yield in the long run. The return is worth the wait.

Now I’m not a financial expert, but I tend to think of conflict in the same way. The tension never feels good in the present. Most of us would rather just avoid it altogether. But it can be one of the most effective tools for bringing about positive change.

Is there conflict in your family today? Don’t get discouraged by the short- term pain. Instead, look ahead to the long- term return. The prospects for huge gains are promising!

Today’s teens are more vulnerable than ever. They’re getting bombarded by sexually-charged images and innuendo.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Overt sexual expression is everywhere. On TV. In lyrics. Even on magazines you pass in line at the grocery store. We can’t shield our kids from everything. So how do we help them navigate their natural curiosities?

Well, try holding a candid conversation. Say stuff that lets them know you’re not afraid to converse about sex. Ask questions and wait for his answer. Let him know it’s a trap you have to avoid, as well.

Remember, letting your son come to the right conclusion on his own is far more effective than launching into a lecture. We can’t always be there to protect our teens. But we can prepare them to make wise decisions when the temptation comes.

It’s one of the biggest mistakes a parent can make. Can you guess?

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Rules and consequences. It’s never easy to find the sweet spot between the two. Which is probably why I’ve seen so many families avoid the issue altogether … and never establish a clear system in their home.

One of my friends, Dr. Shannae Anderson, said this on a recent radio program: “Teenagers need to push against something to propel them out into the world. If there are no boundaries around them, they’ll never have the internal equipment to be able to live a responsible, healthy life.”

And boy, did she hit the nail on the head!

When you communicate boundaries with love and patience … you give your teen the tools they need to become mature, independent adults.

Ever had your boss ask you to come into his office for a “chat”?

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

It’s awful. That awkward and intimidating stroll into a threatening setting. You know you’re there for one reason. Criticism. Yuck! No one likes to hear about failure and letting the boss down.

And guess what? It’s no different for teens.

Parents wonder why kids can’t wait to flee the household … to hang out with friends. Or park in front of a computer screen to play video games. Hey, sometimes they’re trying to escape the disapproval they feel from teachers, peers … and parents, too.

Would your teen see your home as a place of rest? Or just another source of criticism?

Hey, it’s okay to take a break. Lighten up. Your teen will thank you.

Recently, one of my good friends asked, “Mark, what does my teen need from me?”

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

My answer was, “They need you to be imperfect.”

Not what you were expecting, right? Let me explain. Teens long to connect, engage, and have meaningful relationships. But here’s something I’ve realized after decades of working with kids.

They don’t give a rip that I write books. They aren’t impressed that I speak around the country. And they couldn’t care less about my big mustache. But they do connect when I share my struggles, my hurts, and my stupid mistakes.

So what does your teen need from you today? They need you to be imperfect. Because once you’re both on the same playing field, then true connection can flourish.

I love what Miles Kington said about the difference between knowledge and wisdom. He said: “Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting a tomato in a fruit salad.”

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Right! Knowledge and wisdom are different. For moms and dads, it’s like teaching and training.

For example, you can teach your teen how to paint her room. But until you hand over the brush and bucket of paint, all that knowledge is pointless! The training begins when your teen grabs hold of the brush and actually starts painting.

So, are you living like a teacher or a trainer?

Remember, our kids need to know important stuff. But nothing’s more valuable than wisdom. So hand your son or daughter the brush … and let the training begin