Parenting Today's Teens

Every teen has a smartphone—and with it, a window to temptations we never imagined when we were young.

This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston talks about the good, the bad and the ugly of the digital world and offers helpful guidelines for healthy boundaries.

Do you realize that right now, you’re one of the star players on a team? I’m not talking about hockey or football. I’m talking about the home!

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Mom, dad … on your family’s team, you are one of the MVPs … and that stands for Most Valuable Parents. You guys are the dynamic duo. So when your family is heading toward a crisis … how can you make sure the team sticks together?

First, present a united front to your children, and insist that they treat you both with respect. Second, don’t blame each other for the trouble you may be experiencing with your teen. And finally, as much as possible, make decisions about your teen together.

Remember, parenting is a team sport … and you two are on the same team!

There’s no doubt about it … a family crisis can take a toll on even the most committed marriages.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Over the years, I’ve learned that family conflict has a tendency to amplify the true condition of a relationship. It doesn’t cause new problems, but merely calls attention to areas of existing weakness.

If a family crisis is bringing to light the messier side of your marriage, here’s my advice: don’t expect your spouse to change. Instead, focus on changing yourself.

When you make yourself stronger and healthier through things like counseling and spiritual growth … the environment in your home will change.

So if you start seeing flaws in others, by all means … hope and pray for change. But don’t expect it. Because the only person you can change is you.

When a teen is in crisis, parents want to bring them safely to the other side. But before diving in headfirst, be aware that dealing with a struggling teen can be hard on your marriage. Really hard!

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Your teen is already in trouble. And a marriage failure in the midst of the turmoil would lead to even more dire consequences. So how can you dodge these destructive forces?

Above all, know that teens in crisis are experts at pitting one parent against the other. They work to create a wedge between mom and dad … in order to deflect attention away from their own bad behavior.

Do you and your spouse feel more like opponents than teammates? Remember, stress is the real rival.

Maintaining a united and healthy “us” is key to saving a teen who’s spinning out of control.

When a teenage son or daughter is careening in the wrong direction, the pain can bond parents together … or rip the seams of their marriage in two.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Naturally, parents want to help their teens when they’re in trouble. But they also want to know how to keep their marriage from taking the same turn.

One thing I encourage husbands and wives to do is to build in some fun times together. No matter how stressful the situation with your teen is, it’s okay to still have fun. Especially with your spouse. Laugh and have fun together as often as you can … because there are many miles to go!

So what are you doing tonight? Yes, tonight! Mom, dad … go have a little fun.

Have you ever gone through an exercise craze? You worked out every day for a while and started looking really buff, lean and mean. But as soon as you stopped … well, everything went downhill.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Now, I’m not here to give you exercise tips. But I see a big parallel between strength training and life training. Many parents believe that the lessons and principles they taught their kids during their elementary years will carry them through adolescence, into high school, and beyond.

But that’s simply not the case. You have to stay in training mode the entire time! Never stop!

Remember, exercise over a lifetime yields results. Not little spurts here and there. So continue to train your child in godliness and wisdom as they grow into adults.

Wherever there’s a void, there’s a need to fill it—and the same is true with teens. Could your child’s bad behavior actually be driven by feelings of loss?

This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston discusses how parents can help their teens process trauma and grief in a healthy manner.

Once while I was at a teaching seminar, I sat down with the parents of a girl named Anna. The people at church thought she was a wonderful young lady, and her small group leader loved her. But at home, she screamed and cussed at her parents. Something wasn’t matching up.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

After a couple of hours talking, I came to this conclusion: Anna was rebelling against her parents’ strict boundaries. She wasn’t allowed to watch TV, make phone calls, or go on the Internet. And while those restrictions may have been appropriate when she was younger … by age fourteen, she’d outgrown such extreme measures of control.

Mom, dad, could high levels of confinement be pushing your teen to rebel? Keep your household rules up-to-date and age-appropriate.

Moms and dads may have good intentions when they offer constructive criticism or advice. But if it’s offered at the wrong time or in the wrong way … teens may take it as judgment.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Have you ever rolled your eyes at your daughter’s outfit? Or used Scripture to reinforce household rules? Or maybe even withheld a hug or smile after your son disappointed you?

We’ve all been guilty of these kinds of blunders. But we should make every effort to avoid them … because these belittling actions are signs of a judgmental spirit. And few things will shut down a teen faster than judgment.

Matthew 7, verse 1 says, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”

So, let’s display grace in our actions and attitudes … and make our homes a safe place for our teens to grow.

A while back, I asked a group of teens this question: “Do you think your parents want perfection in you?”

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Parents want to motivate their kids. I get it. But sometimes, our verbal teasing translates into a demand for perfection.

Here’s one of the answers I got. A teen told me “I brought home some grades I was proud of, and my mom started complaining that I could do better, I wasn’t living up to my potential, and I needed to work harder.”

Wow, those are painful words to hear. In thirty seconds … this mom took all the wind out his sails.

Don’t allow your own expectations to infringe on your most cherished relationship. Are you communicating a perfectionist mindset?

Show your teen the grace and love they really need.