Pause Purpose Play

In this episode of the 'Pause Purpose Play Podcast', I discuss the challenges faced by women with ADHD, specifically those women dubbed as 'lost girls' who have been misdiagnosed or unrecognised in their childhood. These challenges include dealing with the sense of overwhelming chaos of ADHD amidst other life responsibilities and the coping mechanisms often developed, such as perfectionism and people-pleasing. I also talk about my personal experience with ADHD, the importance of self-compassion, and how to manage ADHD-related overwhelm.

In this episode, Dr Nilesh Satguru, a GP and self-mastery expert, discusses the importance of compassion and self-mastery in the professional and personal journey. He shares his personal experience and struggles as a GP and how a patient's complaint led him to discover compassion and its transformative power. He emphasised how cultivating self-awareness and self-compassion, controlling time and environment, and nurturing inward reflection can drive fulfilment, resilience, and peace. The podcast also touched on forgiveness, emotional resilience, and how self-compassion can help people thrive despite adversities.

In this episode I discuss the themes of perfectionism and compassion, focusing on ADHD and neurodivergence. I illustrate how hyperfocus, a trait often associated with ADHD, can lead to potential burnout and mental health issues, alongside the societal pressures faced by modern women. I call for understanding and compassion for neurodivergent individuals due to the additional challenges they face. I then present a key tip concerning creating spaciousness around challenging tasks and situations to mitigate post-task depletion, assisting in sustainable success. I also give listeners a personal insight into my strategies for managing my hyperfocus and energy during a recent event. Lastly, I extend an invitation to you dear listeners to join my newly-formed ADHD Club, a compassionate community for women.

In this in-depth conversation with Selina Barker, author of 'Burnt Out'! We discuss the significant issues of burnout and perfectionism. Selina details her journey with burnout, the lessons she learned from her workaholic father, and her experiences as a life and career change coach. The conversation explores how societal and individual pressures often contribute to burnout, with a specific focus on women, particularly mothers. Selina emphasizes the importance of managing one's energy and taking regular breaks. The conversation also delves into dealing with the 'shitty committee', a term used by Selina to represent the inner critic and self-critical thoughts, and how understanding this can assist in preventing burnout.

In this episode, we discuss the pattern of burnout seen in individuals diagnosed with ADHD, and how it could be relevant to anyone feeling overwhelmed or overworked. I emphasise the importance of compassion, stepping out of an 'all or nothing' mentality, and learning to correctly interpret the body's cues. Various stages of burnout are described including the 'meerkat' (over productive, driven) and 'sloth' (paralysed, slow) phases. I ask you to understand that ADHD intensifies the burnout cycle. I share my upcoming plans for providing ADHD assessments, coaching, and opening the ADHD club - a supportive, compassionate space for individuals diagnosed with ADHD. And finally, I have suggestions for reducing burnout, such as flexible working and accepting oneself.

The ADHD Club is now open! To learn more about the membership and ADHD assessments, go to: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/adhd

https://thethomasconnection.co.uk/adhdclub/

In this episode, I talk about the societal pressure to make vast changes in work, body image, and parenting as a new year begins. I emphasize the importance of self-compassion and being realistic instead of pushing oneself to perfection. I also introduce the distinction between values and goals, explaining that goals should be driven by one's values for sustainability and long-term adherence. We address the frustrations of unrealistic New Year's expectations and the harm of 'shaming and blaming'. My episode ends with a message of self-acceptance and a note of gratitude.

In this episode, I discuss the gamut of emotions that the festive period can trigger, especially for those with traumatic histories or those who are living in non-traditional family setups. I also provide reassurance and practical advice for anyone feeling alone, including professional resources such as the Samaritans hotline. A key focus is on the importance of self-compassion and the acceptance of imperfections during the holiday season. Towards the end of the episode, I gift you a few things to help you through the festive period.

In the previous episodes I have talked about festive perfectionism and festive burnout – basically from doing all the things, and trying to do them perfectly. 

This week, I want to continue the theme by thinking about comparison culture at Christmas.

If you feel upset after you’ve seen other people’s pretty Christmas photos, with their kids in matching pyjamas and being all smiles in front of the tree, whilst your kids are murdering each other in the background in your own house, and you draw a deep sigh about the chaos, then this is for you. 

I’ll keep it brief, as I know you have a lot on in December. My operations manager and I were reflecting on that over text message this week, with her saying ‘December is a joke’ and me replying ‘December is a joke that isn’t funny’. 

I’ve connected with several people through my act of rebellion against a gingerbread house in a recent Instagram reel – yes, I gave it the finger. No, I’m not a Grinch. Go check it out, for the lolz, as the kids say. 

The overwhelm is REAL. I’ve noticed that part of that overwhelm and perfectionistic pressure around the holidays is also linked to comparison culture. I was recently interviewed about perfectionism in the Christmas dossier for Psychologies magazine, so you can check that out too for more inspiration around how to let go of perfectionism at Christmas. 

Links: 

Put your name down on this link to be the first to know about the ADHD membership: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/adhd 

Link for advert: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/burn-bright

[email protected] to ask Michaela about Burn Bright.

Do you feel the pressure to have a 'perfect' Christmas?

I share tips on how to let go of this pressure and embrace imperfections to find joy and connection in the holidays. Plus I encourage listeners to evaluate what really serves them during the holiday season and to allow themselves to not do everything perfectly.

00:00 Introduction to Festive Perfectionism

01:33 Observations on the Rise of Festive Perfectionism

03:30 Areas of Festive Perfectionism

04:11 Crafts: Embracing Imperfections

05:53 Baking: Tolerating Mess and Imperfection

07:39 Decorating the Tree: Letting Go of Symmetry

08:46 Activities and Days Out: Avoiding Overstretching

09:30 Conclusion: Choosing What to Perfect

The festive season is a period often riddled with people-pleasing pressures - no wonder you might feel close to burnout. 

So, today we're unpacking strategies for maintaining your well-being, amidst the hustle and bustle of holiday commitments. 

If you're feeling overwhelmed with the endless to-dos and social expectations that come with this time of year, this episode is for you. 

We'll explore how to set boundaries, prioritize self-care, and say 'no' when needed, ensuring you enjoy the festivities without sacrificing your peace of mind. 

Get ready to learn how to navigate the season with joy and balance.

Here are the highlights: 

(1:25) Prioritizing self-care during the holiday season

(3:20) Managing workload and setting boundaries

(7:17) Taking time for yourself this Christmas

(9:21) Managing holiday stress and perfectionism 

Download this free PDF on how to calm the overwhelm - www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/calm