Penny Men

The Penny Men continue their 24-hour Star Wars binge and quickly lose track of time, space, and pizza delivery etiquette!

• George Lucas lurks in the corner
• Watto and Jar Jar fight for stage time
• Somehow a Hungry Howie’s girl sneaks into The Skywalker Ranch
• Greg and Tom debate the video game canon (Knights of the Old Republic, Battlefront, Rogue Squadron)
• Ben orders a pizza mid-recording
• And everyone wrestles with the Legacy of the Force novels, Fate of the Jedi, and why every Skywalker has to lose an arm!

Along the way:

• Chuck E. Cheese rebrands itself as Pasqually’s
• Mace "I Don’t Do Windows" is born
• And Earth, Wind & Fire nearly become canon!

It’s the Star Wars Expanded Universe like you’ve never heard it before — live from the bar that never closes, with blue milk on tap and George Lucas picking toppings off your slice!

The Penny Men return from their longest break yet and find the party at The Skywalker Ranch 2 hasn’t slowed down!

Ben, Gregory, and Tom kick things off with a debate over Clueless and the great teen rom-com continuum before sliding back into their booth at the galaxy’s most chaotic cantina!

Between dodging E.T.’s stares and Alf’s interruptions, they wrestle with the big question: what’s so great about Star Wars?

This week, it’s the Legacy of the Force era:

• Jason Solo’s visions
• Ben Skywalker’s training
• Bug wars
• Political schisms
• And the shocking possibility that Mara Jade might’ve had a hand in Padmé’s fate!

Plus, appearances from George Lucas, Jar Jar's stand-up set, and a cat named KitKat who may or may not be Force-sensitive!

The Penny Men are back, this time broadcasting live from an alien dive bar where the comedy lineup is as unpredictable as the Star Wars Expanded Universe itself!

Jar Jar Binks takes the stage as “Yuck Yuck Binks” with a new set of groaners, George Lucas lurks in the corner heckling his own continuity, and Seinfeld barely makes it past the wings!

But in between spilled drinks and bad puns, the guys tackle:

• The New Jedi Order books
• The Yuuzhan Vong invasion
• Chewbacca’s moon-crash death
• Han’s midlife crisis
• Mara Jade’s poisoning
• And Jason, Jaina, and Anakin Solo being pulled in three very different directions!

It’s bird-Jedi philosophies, bio-organic war machines, Luke Skywalker fumbling through Jedi Council leadership, and the fall of Coruscant—all told with the energy of a roast battle gone off the rails!

Grab your desserts (Chew-baklava, anyone?) and settle in for the chaos!

Welcome back to The Penny Men, live (sort of) from what used to be Ben’s apartment and is now apparently an alien supper club, nightclub, and George Lucas vanity project!

There’s a line out the door, Jar Jar Binks is headlining under his new stage name Yuck Yuck Binks, and Dexter Jettster is threatening to spit in our drinks!

In between ordering orange whips and dodging chandeliers themed after Alderaan, your three hosts try their best to recap the entire Star Wars saga in chronological order!

Featuring:

• The ancient Republic and Darth Bane’s Rule of Two
• Qui-Gon Jinn sass
• Anakin’s immaculate conception conspiracy
• The Clone Wars
• Red Dwarf fan recommendations
• And every era of the galaxy far, far away!

Along the way we:

• Complain about too many Jedi surviving Order 66
• Debate who belongs on the Mount Rushmore of Star Wars
• Revive Bubsy (again)
• And discover the hidden comedy album of Jar Jar Binks!

It’s history, it’s chaos, it’s a nightclub floor show!

What’s so great about Star Wars? George might say “money,” but we’re here to figure out the rest!

It’s the Revenge of the Sith episode of The Penny Men, and somehow it’s also amateur night at the George Lucas Comedy Club!

We came here to do a clean, straightforward lightning-round recap of Episode III, but between Yakko Warner singing Gilbert & Sullivan, surprise Animaniacs geography lessons, and Jar Jar Binks insisting on his own Gungan stand-up routine, we’re barely making it through the plot!

Still, in between the bad puns and Ewok waiters pitching Dulok spinoffs, we actually do cover the big stuff:

• Anakin gets promoted to “spy on everybody” duty
• Obi-Wan gets stuck with lizard-riding and robot-coughing
• Yoda takes a detour to the Wookiee planet
• Mace Windu takes a flying lesson courtesy of Palpatine’s force lightning
• The Jedi Council is suspicious
• Padmé is worried
• And Anakin is somehow convinced that the best way to save his wife is to join the guy who looks like melted candle wax!

It’s our Revenge of the Sith breakdown as only The Penny Men could do it: part recap, part roast, part variety show hosted by George himself!

If we survive this night at the Lucas Lounge, maybe we’ll actually finish Star Wars!

The Penny Men return for their 15th episode—this time with a live audience, three Orange Whips on the table, and a floor show courtesy of none other than Jar Jar Binks himself!

George Lucas has turned Ben’s apartment into some kind of intergalactic supper club, complete with menus, Metro D security at the door, and a rotating cast of aliens, droids, and forgotten Expanded Universe icons drifting through the crowd!

While Jabba tries to squeeze into a booth and Droopy McCool pretends he’s booked, our hosts press on with their ambitious mission: breaking down Revenge of the Sith, the sixth Star Wars film (eighth if you’re really counting), and the long-awaited turn of Anakin Skywalker!

Along the way, they talk

• Clone Wars cartoons
• Dark Horse comics
• Quinlan Vos, Aayla Secur
• And the rise of General Grievous!

They relive

• Elevator shaft mishaps
• Count Dooku’s last stand
• And R2-D2’s questionable fire-based comedy routine!

And all the while, Jar Jar keeps barging back in with his own set of Gungan one-liners, trying to turn the podcast into a late-night show!

Will our hosts make it through the first ten minutes of the movie before the floor show takes over completely? Or will George Lucas buy another apartment just to keep the party going?

It’s chaos, it’s comedy, and it’s Star Wars history—served with extra Jawa-made java burgers!

There are a lot of Star Wars movies, folks, and we’re doing them all!

This is hour two of our deep-dive into Attack of the Clones, the alleged favorite of George Lucas himself (is that true? we may never know)! Your hosts — Wicket W. Warwick, Figurine Dan, and Droopy McCool — are joined, as always, by unexpected guests who somehow keep breaking into the studio! Lock the door, guys!

In this installment, the Penny Men (or Penny Guys, or the Larry Fine Fan Club, depending on the moment) tackle everything from Anakin’s Tusken Raider massacre to Obi-Wan’s asteroid belt chase, from the Coliseum cat-fight to Yoda’s surprisingly spry lightsaber duel!

Along the way, they:

• Debate Padmé’s questionable dating choices
• Reimagine droid factory slapstick with “Yakety Sax”
• Mourn the fate of poor Jango
• And chart the rise of everyone’s favorite secret Sith puppetmaster: Jar Jar Binks!

Also on the docket:

• Kenan & Kel cameos that never were
• Mace Windu almost dropping the F-bomb
• The logic of C-3PO’s detachable head
• Trilogies within trilogies
• And the eternal truth that all Star Wars stories eventually become toy commercials!

It’s chaos, it’s canon, and it’s everything George never wanted you to hear — live from the 64-bit avant-garde cast!

🎙️ The Penny Men are back in a galaxy far, far away, but this time it’s the prequels — brighter, clunkier, and full of baffling Jedi logic!

Gregory, Tom, and Ben dive into The Phantom Menace, where podracing rules, Sith reveal themselves with double-bladed sabers, and young Anakin is either the Chosen One or just a kid with a Slipknot-style slave bomb in his neck!

Then it’s on to Attack of the Clones, featuring awkward romance, Obi-Wan playing hardboiled space detective, and an entire clone army signed off without a single Jedi reading the fine print!

And of course, George Lucas himself drops by the studio to defend battle droids, sleep on the couch, and remind everyone that Jar Jar was essential to his “vision!”

The Penny Men return to Tatooine, where things are as sandy, strange, and slave-collared as ever!

Qui-Gon Jinn is out here negotiating with Watto like he’s on Pawn Stars, waving Republic credits around while the Toydarian tells him to take a hike! Padmé, meanwhile, is doing her best “shocked princess” impression straight out of The Hidden Fortress as Shmi lays out how slavery works on this backwater desert planet!

We get the grand tour of Anakin’s life:

• His pod racer
• His gang of child friends (who might or might not include a proto-Greedo)
• And of course the legendary introduction of “Naked C-3PO,” the most merchandise-ready moment in cinematic history!

You’ve never truly lived until you’ve seen Anthony Daniels without his golden shell!

Then it’s time for the main event: the podrace! Part Ben-Hur, part Nintendo 64 loading screen, part live-action Wacky Races with Sebulba throwing banana peels and fireballs at a ten-year-old! Greg Proops is there as a two-headed announcer, Jabba the Hutt is briefly conscious long enough to wave at the crowd, and George Lucas is off-screen mumbling, “This will make the kids scream!”

Between laps, Qui-Gon is running blood tests and muttering about midichlorians, casually dropping the bomb that Anakin’s got a higher power level than anyone—including Yoda! Is it Dragon Ball Z? Is it dog police? Is it the immaculate conception subplot nobody asked for? All of the above!

Meanwhile, on Coruscant, the Galactic Senate is revealed to be the least cinematic thing possible:

• Thousands of floating beanbag chairs
• Too many fish-faced ambassadors
• And Palpatine’s first big move toward becoming Emperor!

Jar Jar accidentally sets himself on the road to political office, and the word “democracy” has never sounded shakier!

But we’re not done—because the movie’s not done:

• Padmé reveals she was the Queen all along
• The Gungans get drafted into a war they didn’t want
• And somewhere in the shadows Darth Maul is revving his motorcycle lightsaber, ready to crash the whole party!

It’s a podrace, it’s a senate hearing, it’s a prophecy, it’s a red velvet cake of bad decisions: this is The Phantom Menace, Penny Men style!

The Penny Men return, but they’re not alone! George Lucas has crashed the recording yet again, dragging Jabba, Seinfeld, and half of the extended muppet-verse into Ben’s apartment!

They swear this time it’s going to be an “official” episode, but between Ewoks in the guest room, Christopher Walken wandering the halls, and Jar Jar trying to grab the mic, it’s hard to tell where the party ends and the podcast begins!

Somehow, though, Tom and Greg actually dive into The Phantom Menace!

They break down:

• Trade disputes
• The Gungan life-debt clause
• Boss Nass’ bongo
• And Weird Al’s clairvoyant songwriting!

George offers “notes” from the kitchen while frosting a nine-layer cake, Jar Jar insists he’s the best part of the movie, and Chris for sure has some strong feelings about toasters!

Topics covered include:

• Did anyone really want the Special Editions, or was it just the toy companies?
• The hype machine of 1999: Pepsi cans, Taco Bell, and endless waiting in line!
• When exactly George decided Star Wars needed prequels!
• Which camp counselor from Camp Candy could actually talk to animals!
• Why there are always bigger fish!

It’s the prequel trilogy kickoff you never asked for but definitely deserve!

Naboo is under attack, the Penny Men are under siege, and the only thing more confusing than trade negotiations is why George keeps bringing up Patch Adams!