84: Part 11/12, Braveheart Hillary Asks What Do You REALLY Want from Sex?: How to Talk about Sex Series

In this episode of Permission to Be Human, hosts Janelle and Andrea engage in a deep conversation with single Braveheart Hillary Mendoza about navigating difficult topics, the importance of self discovery, the polarities of head vs. heart, giving vs. receiving and abundance vs. scarcity. There's deep wisdom and self-awareness. You'll hear:

--How Hillary learned to work with her body (not her head) to make a decision

--Why fixing herself didn't fix the issue

--How the Permission to be Human workshop helped her identify a damaged dynamic

--Why knowing how your own love expresses has to come first

--That if we want to avoid suffering, we must voice our desires ASAP

--Why 80% of intimacy satisfaction is only good enough if its the RIGHT 80%

Learn more about Hiillary and Archipelago Clubs at archipelagodenver.com

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We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure.

You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills.

Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues.

If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you.

With glitter and radical acceptance, Janelle & Andrea.

Follow, subscribe and share!Learn more about us at: https://www.permissiontobehuman.live/

Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY https://www.lvdymusic.com/

83: Part 10/12, Sexual Exploration After 50 Years of Monogamy: How to Talk About Sex Series

Andrea and Janelle engage in a deep conversation with Braveheart and former emergency physician Doug Yeakel about his journey navigating the complexities of love, communication and vulnerability in relationships. He reflects on his own bravery and curiosity to share what's on his heart, explores the idea of love beyond traditional boundaries and the significance of body awareness in understanding one's sexuality. There's a nod to Sam Harris, the book "Cosmo Genesis", RBDSM, full body orgasms and agelessness as well. You'll hear:

--Why naming your sex conversation with humor helps you own it (Doug calls it Book Club)

--How Doug put his vulnerability on a platter

--Why bodily presence is so critical for the hard conversations --Why sharing the last 10% of your desires is so fucking important

--How different types of togetherness can help you feel loved in new ways

--Why aging does not have to limit capacity for love and exploration

--How sexuality, plant medicine and mountain biking can lead to new states of consciousness

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We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure.

You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills.

Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues.

If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you.

With glitter and radical acceptance, Janelle & Andrea.

Follow, subscribe and share!Learn more about us at: https://www.permissiontobehuman.live/

Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY https://www.lvdymusic.com/

82: Part 9/12, The Repair is Where the Juice Is: How to Talk about Sex Series

Janelle and Andrea interview intimacy and relationship coach Dr. Hazel-Grace Yates about their own REPAIR process. Bravehearts, here's the holy-shit-this-is-it, articulate culmination of navigating difficult shit! Hazel Grace explains how Resourcing, Empathy, Permission, Acknowledgement, Impact and Restore create "safety and scaffolding" so you can arrive at complex shared realities, and restore integrity and deep connection. There's a nod to the Esalen Institute, where Hazel Grace is a teacher.

--Empathy isn't just for others--you need it too.

--How to avoid scope-creep and contain the conversation (yes, those are PM words!)

--Why "story hygiene" matters--clean, update, renew!

--The significance of curiosity and reflective listening (I heard this, did I get it right?)

--How to get beyond "agreeing to disagree" to deeper understanding

--Why restoration helps the brain rewire and rebuild trust

Learn more about Dr. Hazel-Grace Yates at

Dr. Hazel-Grace

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We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure.

You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills.

Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues.

If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you.

With glitter and radical acceptance, Janelle & Andrea.

Follow, subscribe and share!Learn more about us at: https://www.permissiontobehuman.live/

Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY https://www.lvdymusic.com/

81: Part 8/12, Bringing Reflections, Death & AI into the Bedroom. (Seriously!) How to Talk about Sex Series

Good news Bravehearts! Rupture and repair can strengthen your relationship! And AI can help. Not even kidding. Janelle and Andrea interview Braveheart, author and passionate ceremonialist, Yana Rumi about the importance of ritual, reflection and curiosity when navigating difficult conversations. Truth: Love is not enough--because it can't replace self-awareness. Janelle tears up. Andrea had a good cry afterwards. There's a nod to Artificial Inteligence (a surprising tool for practicing your desires), ISTA, the word "compersion" and the concept of polyamory. You'll hear:

--Exact instructions for container setting

--Essential Inquiry: Do I want to be connected or do I want to be right?

--How to navigate a mid-conversation trigger

--Why reflection instead of defense will solve 90% of your issues

--How to lead with curiosity, rather than crisis, in every conversation

--Why he ceremonially "killed" his current relationship more than once.

--How rupture and repair REALLY DOES strengthen relationships

Yana Rumi's first book has just been published: Simple Magick of Health & Prosperity: A Practical Guide to a Magickal Life. Buy here: Simple Magick of Health & Prosperity: A Practical Guide to a Magickal Life

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We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure.

You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills.

Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues.

If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you.

With glitter and radical acceptance, Janelle & Andrea.

Follow, subscribe and share!Learn more about us at: https://www.permissiontobehuman.live/

Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY https://www.lvdymusic.com/

80: Part 7/12, Become Your Own Lover: How to Talk about Sex Series

Bravehearts! These are the instructions you've been waiting for. Articulate, calm and compassionate, intimacy guide Briana Cribeyer builds a bridge between your pleasure and the REST OF YOU, and lays it all down: You cannot communicate gracefully with a partner until you know what's within. You'll hear:

—A reframe and cliff notes of the RBDSM conversation

—How to Emotionally Release without exhausting your system

—Why expansion requires contraction (hint: it's uncomfortable)

—How self-pleasure is just a start---can you become your own lover?

—Why it's worth asking: do I need to outsource my pleasure?

—The value of speaking your desires out loud

Briana Cribeyer is a transformational facilitator, and relationship and intimacy guide, and has led trainings in 50 cities across the world with performers, artists, authors and CEOs. Beginning her career in social services and education, leading to non-profit management, her most common thread--and I love this part-- is a desire to serve. She sees all of her past career as energy work, supporting individuals and groups to find their own innate power to heal. Briana believes that deep radical love, coupled with ownership and self-responsibility, will shift the trajectory of humans on the planet. She seeks out farm-to-table meals in every city, likes a nice rock-climbing session and probably has too many plants and journals to count!

Learn more about at www.brianacribeyer.com

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We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure.

You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills.

Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues.

If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you.

With glitter and radical acceptance, Janelle & Andrea.

Follow, subscribe and share!Learn more about us at: https://www.permissiontobehuman.live/

Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY https://www.lvdymusic.com/

79: Part 6/12, The Art of Asking for What You Want: How to Talk about Sex Series

In this episode, Janelle and Andrea discuss the Wheel of Consent with educator, playwright and pro-domme Carmen Leilani De Jesus. They cover how to get curious about what we want and ask for it (no small task) and how we can find a win-win! There's real-time embodiment exercises, several mic drop moments (Andrea shrieks!) and actionable homework for Bravehearts. Includes a nod to the Pomodoro Technique, "The Art of Giving and Receiving", by Betty Martin, the Wanting Game and the Three Minute Game. You'll hear:

--Where to start when approaching your partner about sex

--Why pleasure is an INSIDE job (and you can take responsibility for yours!)

--Why "giving you pleasure gives me pleasure" isn't a win-win

--How the basics still apply: Trust, Value and Communication

--Why consent should be a mutual understanding of desires and limits (or willingness with limits!).

--How saying our desires out loud can help us embody them

--Why Janelle likes to have sex and THEN go to dinner

--The lowdown on creating somatic bookmarks in your body!

Connect with Carmen:

www.consentisapractice.co

IG = @‌consentisapractice

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We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure.

You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills.

Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues.

If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you.

With glitter and radical acceptance, Janelle & Andrea.

Follow, subscribe and share!Learn more about us at: https://www.permissiontobehuman.live/

Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY https://www.lvdymusic.com/

78: Part 5/12: Pillow-Screaming & Active Listening: How to Talk about Sex Series

Janelle and Andrea share how talking about sex comes back to communication skills, yo, (ones you were probably never taught) including active listening, nonviolent communication, emotional release tools, the RBDSMAT framework and itty bitty conversation hacks. They've both come a loooong way. But don't let your masculine take over--these are not achievements, they're skills that take years to put into practice. Have patience Bravehearts! You'll hear:

--Why pillow-screaming was perfect for Andrea during difficult convos

--How simple touch relaxed Janelle's nervous system

--Why taking responsibility for your emotions is KEY

--When Janelle learned communication is not a personality trait

--Andrea's relief: Her big emotions were just energy!

--How Janelle's lover felt like they'd been on 30 dates after RBDSMAT

--Location. Location. Location. Why it matters for hard conversations.

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We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure.

You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills.

Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues.

If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you.

With glitter and radical acceptance, Janelle & Andrea.

Follow, subscribe and share!Learn more about us at: https://www.permissiontobehuman.live/

Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY https://www.lvdymusic.com/

#77: Part 4/12: Get Permission to Follow Your Pleasure with Sex Therapist Megan Phippen: How to Talk about Sex Series

Y'all ready for this? Janelle and Andrea interview sex therapist Megan Phippen and there are too many mic drops to count…..as she explains how she helps clients claim their desire, authorize their sovereign self, connect sex and spirit (!!) and go from pressure and performance to patience and pleasure. Fun fact: Sex hormones and stress hormones cannot be released at the same time. There's a nod to Christine Caldwell's book "Bodyfulness: Somatic Practices for Presence, Empowerment, and Waking Up in This Life". You'll hear:

--Exact phrases to begin the sex and intimacy conversation

--Why the conversation should be a co-created effort with lots of curiosity

--How to go from pressure and performance to pleasure and patience

--Why taking sex OFF the table works for mismatched desires

--How to navigate desires that don't feel aligned with your identity

--Lots of compassion for our evolving bodies

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We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure.

You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills.

Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues.

If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you.

With glitter and radical acceptance, Janelle & Andrea.

Follow, subscribe and share!Learn more about us at: https://www.permissiontobehuman.live/

Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY https://www.lvdymusic.com/

#76, Part 3/12: Talking About Edgy Topics with Couples Counselor Dan Jedynak: Sex & Intimacy Conversation Series

Andrea and Janelle interview somatic couples therapist Dan Jedynak on how to talk about sex and intimacy in brave relationships. They explore embodying your desire, and the importance of curiosity, play, compassion and a TWO person system to find healthier dynamics and deeper connections. You'll hear:

--The "me vs. we" mentality and why it matters

--The benefit of touching yourself!!! to understand what you want

--Where Leadership fits into sex talk

--How to change your relationship dynamic, with analogies to backroads.

--How your tone of voice and body language says it all

--Why journaling our desires is a place to start

Dan Jedynak is an individual and couples counselor. He sees clients in person in Boulder, CO and anywhere in the world, virtually. Learn more at Dan Jedynak

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We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure.

You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills.

Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues.

If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you.

With glitter and radical acceptance, Janelle & Andrea.

Follow, subscribe and share!Learn more about us at: https://www.permissiontobehuman.live/

Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY https://www.lvdymusic.com/

#75: Part 2/12: Andrea's Story: The Sex & Intimacy Conversation Series

Janelle interviews Andrea on what happened when her marriage's sex and intimacy stalled. including how she: regained her motivation, navigated different communication styles, and realized understanding herself better was the first step. There's a nod to Emotional Release Tools (ERT) from International School of Temple Arts (I.S.T.A) and Susan Cain's Book, "Quiet". You'll hear:

--Why you have to move at the speed of the slowest processor

--The problem with blaming your emotions on everybody else

--Good News! You don't have to change.

--How Google Calendar and gymnastics practice was a hack

--Tips for creating a conversation "brave space"

--How to leverage lack of connection to begin your conversation

--Psssst. Sex outside the marriage can help

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We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure.

You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills.

Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues.

If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you.

With glitter and radical acceptance, Janelle & Andrea.

Follow, subscribe and share!Learn more about us at: https://www.permissiontobehuman.live/

Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY https://www.lvdymusic.com/