Permission To Desire: Relationships, Sex, Love, and Liberation

It's not enough to know “can open relationships last” because I imagine what you really want to know is will YOUR open relationship last.

In this episode, Brian shares his own experience of being in an open relationship for over 15 years and identifies 5 inflection points in relationships when all the “will this work” “will we make it” “have we made a mistake” worries tend to rear their head – so you can be on the lookout for them in your own relationship and know how to respond.

Non-monogamy has brought so much joy, connection, and yes even fun into so many people's lives, but let's be honest, it can also be scary at times. In this episode, we're getting real about a fear many of us have—and a fear that can show up before you even open up, a few months in, or even many years later.

Let's talk about it.

Grab a time for a free next steps call to get a custom plan on what to focus on in your relationship & learn about coaching support options. Apply here.

Relationshift waitlist: https://thisisbgm.com/group/

Connect with Brian on Instagram: @ThisIsBGM (Feel free to DM with any questions you have!)

Getting personal today!

Grab a time for a free next steps call to get a custom plan on what to focus on in your relationship & learn about coaching support options. Apply here.

Relationshift waitlist: https://thisisbgm.com/group/

Connect with Brian on Instagram: @ThisIsBGM (Feel free to DM with any questions you have!)

Two things are true: your relationship is awesome and it could be even better.

If you’ve been together for a long time, like most of my clients, then I bet you have a solid relationship. That’s when you might fall into the “good enough” trap. 

In this episode, I breakdown the difference not settling for good enough vs never being satisfied (I’m NOT advocating for the latter)

I’ll show you what to look out for that might indicate your “good enough” could be even better and show you what’s possible if you were to really believe that your wildest dreams were possible.

And if you realize you’ve been settling for good enough, that’s ok! I have too. I think we all have. It’s understandable to get comfortable with good enough for awhile… but you don’t have to stay there.

Let’s dream bigger together in this episode. 

BWT Relationshift enrollment will re-open next month. If you want an open relationship with more intimacy and hotter sex, and none of the dread around the so-called hard conversations, hop on the waitlist: https://thisisbgm.com/group/

Grab a time for a free next steps call to get a custom plan on what to focus on in your relationship & learn about coaching support options. Apply here.

Relationshift waitlist: https://thisisbgm.com/group/

Connect with Brian on Instagram: @ThisIsBGM (Feel free to DM with any questions you have!)

I’m teaching an action-oriented, hands-on training on Tuesday, November 10 at 6pm ET :

"Open & Closer Than Ever: Build an open relationship with more intimacy, hotter sex & none of the dread around the ‘hard’ conversations"

Register here: https://thisisbgm.com/workshop/

If you’ve been looking for the solution to having an open relationship built on trust, communication, transparency, connection, and fun, THIS is your roadmap. 

During this training, I’m going to teach the 4 steps that take my clients from feeling uncertain, scared, and frustrated in their relationships to clear, comfortable, and connected

If you opened your relationship and it’s not going as easy as you thought it would (or it’s not as comfortable or fulfilling as it used to be), you might think there’s something wrong with you or your relationship. You might even worry that you’re just “not cut out for an open relationship.”

But that’s not it at all!

You just need a different approach. And it’s easier than you think (it’s definitely easier than continuing to spin your wheels and hope). You can start making SMALL changes that make a BIG impact in your relationship right away. I’m going to show you what those are.

Save your spot: https://thisisbgm.com/workshop/

Grab a time for a free next steps call to get a custom plan on what to focus on in your relationship & learn about coaching support options. Apply here.

Relationshift waitlist: https://thisisbgm.com/group/

Connect with Brian on Instagram: @ThisIsBGM (Feel free to DM with any questions you have!)

Let’s get you an easier open relationship / more sex / on the same page about the future / [insert what you want more of in your relationship] without the emotional equivalent of DOMS 🤣

The “work” of shifting and strengthening your relationship can be the good, easy, productive type of hard when you learn new skills and have a coach guiding you.

I got you!

Schedule a free next steps call where I'll put together a custom plan for what you can focus on to have a stronger, safer and sexier relationship without any shame, scarcity, or “should”s. Learn more & find a time here.

Grab a time for a free next steps call to get a custom plan on what to focus on in your relationship & learn about coaching support options. Apply here.

Relationshift waitlist: https://thisisbgm.com/group/

Connect with Brian on Instagram: @ThisIsBGM (Feel free to DM with any questions you have!)

Even if you've been out and proud for decades, been in an open relationship for years, been sex-positive for just as long... STILL sometimes parts of your sexuality and sex life can start to feel secretive, maybe even shameful.

You might feel like pursuing your desires is selfish in some way or worry they'll be your undoing.

If any of that sounds like, then you've got to listen to this episode. In it, Brian shares how learning to recognize and name his true desires—and the sometimes confusing or uncomfortable feelings that can come with them—helped him move beyond hiding and autopilot. Brian then teaches what the first step is to creating even more more authenticity and connection relationship with yourself and your partner.

Referenced in this episode:

• download list of feelings here

Grab a time for a free next steps call to get a custom plan on what to focus on in your relationship & learn about coaching support options. Apply here.

Relationshift waitlist: https://thisisbgm.com/group/

Connect with Brian on Instagram: @ThisIsBGM (Feel free to DM with any questions you have!)

f you want to be in a relationship that doesn't quite fit the monogamy mold, you've probably come across both the ideas of both "open relationship" and "polyamory" ... what's the difference between them and which one is right for you?

Polyamory and open relationship are two BIG umbrella terms in the ways folks structure their not-monogamous relationship lives. I explain the basics of each, how they overlap sometimes, and what you need to know to decide which — if any! — is right for you.

I also share a relationship idea that's somewhere between "monogamous" and "open relationship" ... what Dan Savage calls "mongamish"

Grab a time for a free next steps call to get a custom plan on what to focus on in your relationship & learn about coaching support options. Apply here.

Relationshift waitlist: https://thisisbgm.com/group/

Connect with Brian on Instagram: @ThisIsBGM (Feel free to DM with any questions you have!)

A short and sweet one from my phone to yours today with a message that maybe you need to hear.

Are you approaching your open relationship like an edge... always almost but hardly ever going all the way?

If so, it's up to you to decide: do you actually want to get off? No wrong answer, just choose on purpose. And if you do want that's more comfortable to actually act on, what are you going to do about it?

Grab a time for a free next steps call to get a custom plan on what to focus on in your relationship & learn about coaching support options. Apply here.

Relationshift waitlist: https://thisisbgm.com/group/

Connect with Brian on Instagram: @ThisIsBGM (Feel free to DM with any questions you have!)

When John first brought up opening their relationship, Keller's response was fear. He didn't feel like enough. He didn't have a framework. And after 8 years together, the whole idea felt like it could unravel everything they'd built.

Four years later, he and John are married and navigating non-monogamy with more confidence and intention than Keller ever thought possible. In this conversation, you'll hear how he moved from insecurity to clarity, what tools he's still using today, and how he went from cautiously open to fully embracing polyamory.

There were still some bumps along the way, and whenever they hit a bumpy patch, they brought it to coaching to be able to talk it through in a controlled, facilitated environment, and to walk away with specific suggestions to try.

That was 2021.

Today, Keller and John are still together, they got married a few years ago — and are navigating non-monogamy with more confidence and intention than Keller ever thought possible. When I caught up with Keller recently, he told me that even his grandmother knows about non-monogamy and met one of his other partners! Talk about progress!

Keller also shared that he and John return to some of the foundational exercises they learned in Relationshift at least once a year, pulling out old worksheets and cheatsheets and taking a look at what, if anything, they want to adjust or revisit.

If you want some of that for yourself and your relationship, join us in Relationshift. Enrollment is open through Friday August 21, 2016 - https://thisisbgm.com/group/

Grab a time for a free next steps call to get a custom plan on what to focus on in your relationship & learn about coaching support options. Apply here.

Relationshift waitlist: https://thisisbgm.com/group/

Connect with Brian on Instagram: @ThisIsBGM (Feel free to DM with any questions you have!)

You know how new relationships come with a honeymoon period? The first few months to first few years after opening up have their own honeymoon period too.

If you hit a bumpy patch a year or two after opening up, you are not alone. There are a few common reasons and once you know what they are, you can know what to do about them.

In this episode, I'm going to talk you through through the most common pressure points that can turn an open relationship from fun to frustrating. Things like jealousy, time pressure, ineffective open relationship rules, and hurtful communication. Then, I share what it takes to move into a more sustainable, intentional phase. An open relationship can bring you closer together than ever before so if you're navigating some rough waters, this is your lifeline!

Grab a time for a free next steps call to get a custom plan on what to focus on in your relationship & learn about coaching support options. Apply here.

Relationshift waitlist: https://thisisbgm.com/group/

Connect with Brian on Instagram: @ThisIsBGM (Feel free to DM with any questions you have!)