When people enter or maintain a relationship to fill a sense of lack about themselves, it creates an imbalance and continues the sense of that very lack they seek to fill. That kind of uneven exchange isn’t sustainable and does not benefit either partner.

We’ve always held that one of the reasons our relationship works so well is that we respect the individuality of the other person. We are aware that a core value and bedrock of our relationship is the commitment we share to supporting the growth of each other as individuals.

Deviations from loving relating can be the product of smaller irritations that have gone unaddressed and have built up over time till they explode into larger events. When these disturbances are not addressed within the relationship, they build and fester. This is instead an opportunity to share.

The addition of another personality expressing the same core values in an entirely different and unique way is one of the greatest gifts our relationships can give us. It provides a chance to expand ourselves and the parameters of our lives.

Taking space to be alone in a relationship allows you to move between being together and being apart with no effort, no friction. When you do this, the sense of connection is never broken, and so never needs to be repaired.

One reader’s comment to our blog recently was “Every relationship matters.” This is really what it all comes down to. There is an important link between our relationship with ourselves, our relationships with our partners, and our relationships to all others.

One of the most surprising aspects of our relationship is the direct experience of peace that it engenders. For us, peace is not a void described by the absence of conflict, anger or war. Peace is an actual experience, filled with calm, acute awareness of presence, joy, and overflowing love.

Pay attention both to how you are and how your partner is, and even more than that, pay attention to the relationship itself. The central aspect is being present. There has to be time where you are doing nothing but sharing your connection with each other.

People respond to the information that peaceful loving relationships are possible, that conflict within a relationship is not inevitable, and that we can change the world by spreading peace one relationship at a time.

As with so many things, progress on your own path enriches your relationship. Ongoing practice that helps you gain insight into yourself, and furthers your awareness of your own issues, needs and desires, is a strong support for a healthy peaceful relationship.