PigeonHoled

Have you ever wanted to go to space, but find that SpaceX and NASA are a little too bourgeois for your sensible tastes?

Well Pigeon Holed is calling your name. On tall pines we’ve constructed the most stable (not yet tested) sustainably sources rockets for those looking to blast off on a budget. P-Holed, looking towards the stars.

What is the best kind of bear? A koala bear perhaps? Guess again, you dingus! That’s not even a bear. Did we just destroy your entire view of the known world, causing it to careen at near light speed into a void of unimaginable darkness? Leaving you a shell of man, with only a fleeting memory of the person you once were?

Yeah, sorry about that. Subscribe to National Geographic for like $10 a year, you’ll learn more neat nature facts like that little tidbit.

... So yeah, Tim and Ian talk about bears this week.

On this episode we welcome esteemed boat-based YouTuber Nic from The Boat Life! Ian then loses all respect for Tim and his so-he-thought new best friend when they don’t believe him in saying that Robin Williams is in Schindler’s list.

[This is Ian writing by the way, I am officially putting in my two weeks notice. I will be leaving the Podcast after one more episode, an episode in which Tim needs to apologize profusely and recognize Robin as a main character in a film I so lovingly abbreviate to The List. I’ll take my severance from the show in the form of stock options.]

Call those two sexually ambiguous guys from MTV’s hit show Catfish, because Tim and Ian invited a guest on the podcast who catfished the shit out of them.

Just like in Animal Planet’s hit tv show River Monsters, their guest Kim, like a toothless functioning alcoholic from the Deep South, stuck her finger in the shallow waters of the internet and noodled around until the guys of Pigeonholed clamped down on that meat-stick tainted finger.

Side Note: Tim reads Doonesbury.

This is going to be a terrible episode...

After a brief hiatus (Tim birthed a human [jury is still out on that part] child), we’re bringing you all new, highly original, tree-based content!

On this episode, Tim and Ian talk about arguably the worst thing in the world. No not modern day nazism, and definitely not the inevitable rise of communicable diseases with antibiotic immunities (looking at you H1N1, you about to glow-up), we’re talking about running for fun. Did you know, in the year of the lord 2018, there are still people who derive pleasure from running? Well, Tim is one of those sick bastards, knowingly spreading his illness to the world. Listen to him try to proselytize Ian with his poorly formed arguments.

Last night, Tim’s TV remote lost it’s battery power the second he was about to click past Fox News, causing it to remain there until a replacement pair of AAs were located. However, he became infatuated by the loud, Alex Jones style ranting and claims of fake news and ended up watching the nightly news for 6 hours. What you're hearing here today is the result of that binge of bullshit.

Enter: New Tim.

And, oh yeah, Ian and Tim pitch some movies.

The last thing a man wants to feel as he voluntarily leaps from a tree to escape the clutches of a lady Dr. Phil wannabe is the cold, clammy hands of a skinny white man who is also voluntarily leaping from said tree. You would think that it would be a moment of solidarity, but in truth, falling alone sounds much more ideal.

This episode of PigeonHoled is brought to you by Basements. Basements: built for murder holes, questionable home videos, and the early indoctrination into unrealistic sexual expectations. Introduce a basement into your life.

If it wasn't for the janitor, we still might be stuck up at the top of that rope.

1. Presidential Fitness Challenge 2. Elementary School Gym Class 3. Rope Climb 4. Ringing the Bell 5. Getting Stuck at the Top 6. Embarrassment

#LaraCroftCutsceneJerkoffTwitchStream

1. The Internet 2. Newgrounds 3. End of Ze World 4. Viral Videos 5. Shoes 6. Trending Videos 7. YouTube 8. Demonetization 9. Advertising