Pivotal Drifting

I have been feeling incredibly anti-social and immediately a little depressed. I am still working through donating and keeping things. In my piles of things I identified a massage chair table that my good friend might want. She said absolutely that she wanted it and took me to lunch as a thank you. At lunch, we discussed my marriage, life growing up, and the reasons for me going on this trip. The vision quest to challenge and rewire my thought patterns. I might be able to do this here right now but I also know me and I will have made excuse after excuse, after excuse about why I didn't do something. Anyways, this is why it has to be carry-on bag living and donating/selling all my belongings and ultimately giving notice to my career of 4 years at this company I am moving on. I am scared that I will go on this vision quest and find I have no passions, I have no gifts, and I am not meant for anything other then to be minion in some corporation behind a cubicle. At least I will know for sure and can accept my fate with dignity and respect. Somehow forcing myself to fit my circle peg into the square hole.

I was in a little strange place today mentally. I had these moments of just zoning out. Then I started thinking about my San Francisco trip and started to get excited about these little places I will see while I am in the city. Places like the wave organ, chamber of secrets door, secret tile, staircase, the golden gate bridge, etc. Probably just going to get a bike rental and explore the whole place by myself if she is working not sure her schedule.

It's cleaning day!!! Alright so house is cleaned everything is out now I'm going to spend the next couple of days (probably just till Thursday) continuing my carry on bag journey. I am so close I can almost taste it after getting a couple of moments of just toss it vibes I feel more liberated and alive then I have felt in many years.

Moving day everyone! I am exhausted 🥱 I barely got any sleep last night when I got to my parents house around 11:30pm didn't get to bed till midnight then was woke up by good old Arizona sunshine 🤦‍♂️. I am exhausted as we moved the last of "big furniture" to places I gave to family members or just donated. What I have found is no one really cares how much you spent on something they only care about what they are willing to spend on it. Sure! They are grateful but the value I put on something doesn't mean anything because the value of my "thing" is really how another perceives it. Granted I could not agree with this view and go my own way but in my situation I don't have really many choices with needing to be out of the house for good before Oct 2nd.

I BOUGHT another COURSE - I am not going to say this will be my last ever course/program BUT I am done paying for courses till I leave.

In this episode:

I talk about a new course that I bought *spoiler alert* I have NO clue what this course is about only that its shadow work and inner child work.

Could use some help moving some things and probably need a massage after all this.

Request for someone to hold me accountable to NOT buy another COURSE!!

P.S. I am convinced that the price of that monthly group was $2020 because of this year... original thinking.....

Downsizing continues. I got an offer on my house and now I need to UP my timeline for getting myself down to just a carry on. I have already gone through three large black trash bags to the local GoodWill filled with clothes and shoes (mainly clothes). I still have at least a closet full of clothes that I am having a REALLY hard time getting rid of. In addition, I need to pack up my dishes, and my pots and pans. I have till Oct 23rd to get it all out HOWEVER I am visiting my partner in San Francisco Oct 2nd thru Oct 15th (both our birthdays fall within this week). THEN going up north with some friends on Oct 19th if I don't get all this stuff out I have to cancel some things AND I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT!

In this Episode:

I talk about attachment to material things and difficulties I am facing with going from a 1,900 SQFT house to a carry on bag.

Me in my seductive voice.... and Yes I am really that sexy.

Pretty sure I go on some rant about travel bloggers finishing college then entering the work force for a year or two then traveling the world and doing better then what I have, or anyone else has done in life and they seem genuinely pretty happy about it. (Definitely a lot of envy and jealousy I am feeling that THEY found out this before I ever even DREAMED of doing it).

Origin story of my journey (Well documented journey).

In this episode I talk to myself about WHY I am even doing this! Also, give a little background into where I have gone and what I have done.

If you want to follow my pivotal drifting experience.

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