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“If your culture or tradition doesn't have the specific ritual you are craving, then you are absolutely permitted to make up a ceremony of your own devising, fixing your own broken-down emotional systems with all the do-it-yourself resourcefulness of a generous plumber/poet.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert
What do we mean by ritual? For me ritual is about mindfulness, more pause, and connection. It brings in feelings and boundaries.
Whether you are thinking about the holiday season or starting new things in the new year, rituals can be a new twist to “habits.” Some of my own seasonal rituals include how I celebrate Solstice and journaling during the Sacred Nights of winter. Neither of these is a ritual I grew up with. I added them when they were what I needed during the season — and they grew, adapted or deepened over time.
The same is true some of my other most important rituals throughout the year:
The key to rituals is to remember they are not to-dos or practices we do out of habit or conditioning. They are actions done with reverence or mindfulness. The same action can be a ritual or a dreaded to-do. In the new year, I want to bring more ritual to my supplement protocol, tidying, and parts of my business. We can bring ritual into all parts of our life.
Here are three ways I’m going to play around with ritual in the new year. Maybe you’d like to try these doable changes too.
“A ritual is the enactment of a myth. And, by participating in the ritual, you are participating in the myth. And since myth is a projection of the depth of wisdom of the psyche, by participating in a ritual, participating in the myth, you are being, as it were, put in accord with that wisdom, which is the wisdom that is inherent within you anyhow. Your consciousness is being re-minded of the wisdom of your own life. I think ritual is terribly important.”
― Joseph Campbell
“Planning is choosing in advance, so you can decide from a place of calm.”
– Mia Moran
I have shared a lot about how this is my favorite time of year.
ove lights, trees, presents, family-time, the feeling of the winter holiday — AND I also love the challenge and opportunity of practicing being my true self in a time with lots of obstacles.
One of the choices I am making this year is to take time off, REALLY.
For years, I was confused about vacation. When the kids were younger, I thought of my kids’ time off as my time off. I would say yes to client work as an escape.
On Friday, my youngest gets out of school. On Saturday, I will pick up my oldest from college. My middle one doesn’t get out of school until the 23rd. None of this defines my time off or my vacation.
What does vacation really mean to me?
Vacation means I’m not doing everything.
That means I’m not the one doing all the extra: more dirty dishes, more meals, more tidying than usual. It’s so easy for me to slip back into the “mom” who does it all, so the way I stick to this one is consistent clarity. I have to remind myself — and the others in my family that doing all the home stuff is not my job alone.
Vacation means I’m not doing client work.
One of the reasons I am a good coach is that I really hold the energy of my clients. I can do this sick, tired, and even when I feel disorganized. Still, I need to reset and recharge a few times a year. I need space to reset and recharge, so I can hold space for others.
Vacation means I have self-care sprinkled into every day.
For me that includes real basics like clean food and hydration. It also includes:
To protect all these things, I need to block out time for it. There will be moments I go above and beyond for my kids, and there will also be moments where I will just walk out the door to go to hot yoga.
Your self-care may look different, but whatever it is you need to protect the time for it.
Vacation means I’m honoring MY plan.
I am not relying on school holidays, bank holidays, my husband's holidays, or my own past limiting beliefs about what a holiday or vacation is. I am relying on myself and really choosing.
I’m choosing what my holiday looks like — what feels good to me, not the “ideal” that isn’t in alignment with what I want or need.
I’m choosing my time off. My official dates are December 21 – January 2. And I’m being intentional about that time. While I said no work on vacation, I’m allowing some FLOW365 planning on December 28 and 29, because it’s planning that serves me.
I’m making intentional choices based on my own wants and needs. I’m making choices for my future self.
One of the questions in the 2023 planning book is about what your ideal life really looks like — uncensored. Many thanks to Sarah Jenks for this question.
Doable Changes from this episode:
“You should have a closet full of clothes that works for the body you have right now.”
–Andrea Putnam
What am I even wearing? After two years of Zoom calls, I find myself put together up top and I don’t know what on the bottom. Sound familiar? Andrea Putnam, a fashion stylist who helps women get to the core of who they are and step into their style, is going to help us change that.
Andrea is a FLOW365 member, but she didn’t come into FLOW as an entrepreneur. She came in as a mom thinking about reigniting passions. She came thinking about going to school, but the visioning and OM sessions helped her get in touch with her heart’s desires, and things took off from there.
If you’re not ready to give up your yoga pants, don’t worry! I love mine too. Andrea’s top piece of advice covers that one. Get intentional. Know your values around how you want to show up, and let that guide you.
We talk about:
BIO
Andrea Putnam is a fashion stylist. She is not only passionate about helping women save time and money on their wardrobes through creating strategies that work for them, she’s also devoted to helping women see how amazing and powerful they are. Andrea helps women get the wardrobe of their dreams, that isn't just for a fantasy life, but is for the real life they have right now. Because the woman you are right now is totally deserving of that. Don't you think?
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Don't you just want to flow with the energies of the planets?
–Wanica aka Ms. Astrology
On this episode of the PlanSimple Podcast, I’m really excited to talk with Wanica, or Ms Astrology about how astrology can be fun and useful in our lives.
I decided on my birthday that I wanted to have my chart read (I wasn’t even quite sure how to say it), and googling led me to Wanica. I loved the experience and wanted to share that with anybody who is into astrology, anybody who is curious, or anybody who doesn’t know just how fun this can be.
Wanica explains how she got into astrology during a divorce and a very intense time in her life. She knew she was a Sagittarius but she didn't realize the energy of the moon and different planets in her life. As she delved into it, her reaction and the way she was handling her situation made sense in a new way. She decided to learn more and help other people use astrology to find flow.
We talk about:
BIO
Wanica, aka Ms Astrology, was lovingly given the nickname "Ms Astrology" by friends who teased her for always chatting about the sky. She first learned we are more than just our Sun Sign in 2012, since then she has used Astrology as a way to enlighten, guide and heal not only herself but also family, friends and of hundreds of clients. Wanica believes in and works with all sorts of healing modalities including Astrology, Tarot & Oracle Cards, Candle Magic, Herbs, Crystals, Oils, Sound Healing, Numerology, Reiki, & (of course) Intuition. She offers private sessions (aka "readings), a weekly subscription service that meets live known as The Cosmically LIT Collective, courses and public speaking events - any platform possible to help people better understand themselves.
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“There's a specific intentional quality to mindfulness, and that's without judgment and with kindness.”
–Shahin Najak
You don’t need to sit on a cushion to be mindful. I’m excited to talk with Shahin Najak, mindfulness and meditation coach, about getting past mindfulness as a buzzword. What does it really mean to be mindful— and more importantly, what does it look like in real life?
Mindfulness means paying attention to the moment. Shahin broke that down into two parts: having awareness and, this is important, not judging. Can you be aware of how often you judge — without judging yourself for it? That awareness is one starter practice Shahin shares. Mindfulness is about the practice.
We think of mindfulness as of the mind or brain or head, but it’s deeply connected to the body. You need to notice what’s happening in your body. It takes paying attention, awareness, curiosity, and openness — and again, without judgment.
We talk about:
BIO
Shahin Najak is a Mindfulness and Meditation Coach, Speaker, and Educator, based in West Vancouver, BC. She supports parents and children with private coaching sessions; teaches and conducts workshops at Community Centres, Schools across Lower Mainland communities, and Canada. She also speaks at business organizations across Canada.
In her previous career, Shahin was an Occupational Hygienist, training and educating employees in Occupational Health and Safety - How chemical and physical stresses in the workplace can affect our well-being. Now, her work revolves around supporting parents & children, teachers, and other employees working in corporations big and small in accessing and incorporating Mindfulness strategies in our daily lives as a pathway to create and craft a life of inner peace, love, compassion, and self-acceptance.
Shahin believes that the daily practice of Mindfulness can bring about a clarity that allows us to savor the moment and live a meaningful and passionate life.
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“I knew that my house was the thing that I couldn't seem to figure out and conquer. I did not realize that it was because I had too much stuff.”
–Cass Aarssen
You don’t need more bins and baskets to declutter your home. Decluttering comes up a LOT in people’s goals in FLOW365, and when we talked about plans for the week, three women, who I now refer to as “the Decluttering Ladies” kept coming up. So I knew I should get them on for some tips and tricks! If you are sick of having a mess, check out this conversation with Cass Aarssen and Dana White.
Maybe the most important takeaway: decluttering is getting stuff out of your home. Organizing is shuffling stuff from space to space. If you start with organizing or try to do both at the same time, it doesn’t work. You need to get rid of stuff first and get down to your clutter threshold.
And then we need to get real about clutter. Decluttering isn’t a do it and done thing, and it’s not a quick process. That doesn’t mean it has to be overwhelming. You can grab a trash bag and a donation bin and fill them for 5 minutes. We look at specific ways to tackle your mess.
We talk about:
BIO
Cassandra Aarssen is the creator of Clutterbug, a home organizing business which provides education, inspiration, and support to over 500,000 families worldwide through her YouTube channel, podcast, and various other social media platforms. Cassandra is the host of HGTV’s “Hot Mess House” and is also the author of four best-selling organizing books, “Real Life Organizing,” “Cluttered Mess to Organized Success,” “The Clutter Connection,” and “The Declutter Challenge.” As a recovering “super slob,” Cassandra has discovered through her own journey with clutter that organization is not one-size-fits-all.
Dana White is a decluttering expert, much to her own surprise. A Slob Comes Clean is the completely honest (and never-ending) story of Dana’s personal deslobification process. As she finds ways to keep her home under control, she shares the truth about cleaning and organizing strategies that actually work in real life for real people. People who don’t love cleaning and organizing. Dana is a blogger, speaker, and decluttering expert. She is also the author of “How to Manage Your Home without Losing Your Mind” and “Decluttering at the Speed of Life.”
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“Tapping is this beautiful tool that allows you to gently experience those emotions and hold space for those emotions and feel them so that they aren't staying stuck in the body.”
–Lauren Fonvielle
Looking for relief from stress, anxiety, chronic pain, or trauma. Have you tried EFT, or tapping? If you’re curious about what this is and how it works, you’ll want to listen to my conversation with Lauren Fonvielle, an Integrative Energy Practitioner who specializes in EFT.
EFT is short for Emotional Freedom Technique, also referred to as tapping. With this technique, you gently tapping on certain points of the body and acknowledge how you are feeling. Lauren compares it to acupuncture. In acupuncture, they place needles at the end points of the meridians where energy moves through our body. In EFT, we apply light pressure on similar points while talking out loud about how we are feeling. It may sound weird if you’ve never tried it. Even Lauren was skeptical at first, but there are studies to back it up.
Tapping can take you out of fight or flight or freeze mode, which means you can make better choices and decisions. You can use tapping proactively too. If this tool isn’t part of your toolbox, take a listen and see if it’s something you want to add.
We talk about:
BIO
Lauren Fonvielle is an Integrative Energy Practitioner, specializing in EFT/ Tapping for stress, anxiety, chronic pain and trauma. Her passion is to guide her clients on a journey of self healing to break through obstacles - physical, mental, or emotional - that are keeping them stuck and holding them back in life or business. She believes we all have the answers within, and sometimes we just need a little help accessing them.
Lauren's field of study includes training and certification in various concentrations including Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), yoga instructor, reiki, mindfulness & meditation, and sound healing. She delights in making the connections between science and spirituality, and incorporates this into her practice. She also brings over 15 years of prior experience from her roles in marketing in both the corporate and non-profit sectors to further assist and support her entrepreneurial clients.
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Radical healing should be a non-negotiable for every woman, especially women of color.
–Simona Sillah
Curious about crystals? I’m really excited to talk with Simona Sillah about using crystals and other energy and mindset modalities for radical healing. Body, mind, and spirit work together, so we look at the energy around all of that.
Simona shares her story of a health crisis that went ignored by traditional healthcare. She advocated to learn more. She finally got treatment that was making her sicker. That’s when she sought out more holistic healing practices.
What does it mean to surrender? How do you practice radical acceptance? It can be hard, especially when you want to be in control, so we talk about what that actually looks like day to day.
But when the mind, body, or spirit is out of whack, the rest aren’t working right either. Simona lists healthy thoughts, choosing what she consumed, and healing crystals as three pieces of her healing.
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BIO
Simona Folasade Sillah is a changemaker for underrepresented communities, working as a Community and Content Manager for SoGal Foundation by day and running her online metaphysical boutique ENHERGY for her side hustle. She offers over seven years of marketing and communications experience, with an extensive background in business development, public relations, entrepreneurship, and small business coaching. She holds her Master’s degree in Communications Management from the University of Southern California, working alongside organizations — California Department of Public Health (CDPH), Big Brothers Big Sisters, MAKEHERS — providing equitable solutions and resources for underserved and marginalized communities.
Simona’s professional footprint has afforded her the opportunity to execute her life mission of empowering and galvanizing the creative and entrepreneurial pursuits of disruptively unique women — inspiring authenticity, self-confidence, and unmitigated grit. She’s played a pivotal role in the advancement of female founders and women in business, within the Greater Sacramento Region, serving as Creative Business Coach for the Hacker Lab, in partnership with the Sacramento Inclusive Economic Development Collaborative.
Motherhood has been Simona’s most prized life assignment, serving as a guide to her two young children, Josiah and Logan. When she’s not stewarding her carbon copies towards boundless love and success, you may find her exploring a city near you, salsa dancing in a local discotheque or encouraging women of color towards radical healing!
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Come MAKE A PLAN for your holiday season so that you END 2022 GROUNDED and enter 2023 with ENERGY and BALANCE. Join us NOVEMBER 17 +18, 10am–4pm ET for this restorative and fun home retreat experience!!!
Grab your free ticket at https://MakeDecemberMatter.com
“You have to be pretty courageous to be alcohol free in this society.”
–Karolina Rzadkowolska
If we can be gluten free, caffeine free, dairy free … Why can’t we be alcohol free? I’m talking with Karolina Rzadkowolska, a certified alcohol-free life coach about going alcohol free. You don’t have to have a problem with alcohol to reconsider how it affects your life. Even small amounts can affect energy, sleep, and overall how we feel.
It can be hard to not drink. Karolina says she thought that “normal adults drink.” She worried about having to explain to people why she wasn’t drinking. But when she took an extended break from drinking, she fell in love with how she slept every day, how she felt in the morning, the sense of integrity and pride she felt for herself.
Taking a break can show you how alcohol is affecting you (even if you didn’t realize it) and what you are really missing in your life. Going alcohol free opens all these doors in our brain and it also changes our identity. Sounds like something to experiment with right?
We talk about:
BIO
Karolina Rzadkowolska is a certified alcohol-free life coach who helps intuitive women ditch alcohol and discover their greater purpose. She’s worked with thousands of clients through her online courses and coaching to change their drinking habit and unleash a new level of health, happiness, and potential to go after their biggest dreams. Her book Euphoric: Ditch Alcohol and Gain a Happier, More Confident You (HarperCollins) came out on bookshelves on January 4th. She’s the host of Euphoric the Podcast, founder of Euphoric AF, and her work has been featured in the Huffington Post, The Sunday Post, Popsugar, Real Simple, Elite Daily and multiple TV shows. Karolina’s passionate about helping you discover what really makes you happy outside of a beverage and design a life you love. She would love to hear from you at www.euphoricaf.com.
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Book and Free Gift: Euphoric: Ditch Alcohol and Gain a Happier, More Confident You
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