Plan Simple with Mia Moran

“When you know what you want and then you make a seasonally appropriate plan to make it happen, you will feel like your whole world is opening up — and you will feel what it is like to go from overwhelm to ease, no matter what is happening all around you.” 

–Mia Moran

Thie FLOW planning process is a great tool to use in transitions. 

The transition from summer to fall can be one that we avoid thinking about if we are someone who loves the summer vibe, and yet here we are at the beginning of school.

It can be something we get swept up in, if we love fall, and all the sudden we find ourselves in the holiday season.

No matter what camp we fall in, it can be kinda consuming and overwhelming if we “let” any season “happen to us.”

I hosted a workshop live, twice in the last few weeks, that walks through the process of planning for the transition from summer to fall really intentionally, in a way that honors the season you are leaving behind, the season you are moving into, and most importantly honors you!

The way we run our planning workshops at Plan Simple iis very interactive, which doesn't always translate to recordings… so  irecorded a podcast episode so that you can go through the workshop in a way that makes sense.

My advice:

• Decide when you will make your plan and put it in the calendar.
• Go to a coffee shop, park, or a cozy corner in your home with your workbook to plan
• Find accountability to stay the course

During this workshop, you will...

• Learn the five stages of the FLOW Planning Process. In order to find balance, with the many hats we wear as women, we need a new way to think about planning. The FLOW Planning Process taps into your intuition and creates a structure that is in alignment with who you are.
• Discover some best practices for doing what you say you want to do. Our goal is to help you cast a vision for the fall, create a plan based on that vision, and give you what you need to know to follow through on your plan.
• Make a plan. An important component of the workshop format is some actual planning time. You will receive some planning sheets before the workshop, be guided through their intent, and get your questions answered as you plan!!!

“If you’re struggling with meal planning make 

a master list … if you're struggling with

starting a business think what

the barrier to entry is to

make the barrier a little more attainable.” 

–Melissa Griffiths

Don’t like planning because you want to go with your intuitive or creative flow? I get that, but having a plan actually gives you more freedom. We talk about meal planning, content planning, and getting it all done with Melissa Griffiths, a food blogger and photographer and mom to five kids.

Whether you need a meal plan or a business plan, we’ve got something for you in this episode. Melissa loves helping families reclaim dinner time, and we talk about her content planning, her ideas about meal planning, and how to get things done in any season (spoiler alert, you don’t do it all yourself).

We dig into her process for meal planning, which has a lot of similarities to mine! There’s a rhythm and structure to it that makes it easy. And there’s plenty of flexibility to keep things fresh and satisfy everyone at your table.

We talk about: 

• Asking for help in business and our home life
• Content planning and block scheduling
• Leaning into the season and shifting how we work to reflect that
• How to plan and go with your intuitive, creative flow
• Meal planning by category (like soups, taco night, breakfast for dinner) and with the rhythm of your week in mind
• Meals that let everyone eat what they want … without cooking a million separate meals

BIO

Melissa Griffiths, is a food blogger, recipe developer, and food photographer who loves helping busy families reclaim dinnertime and enjoy their time together. She also specializes in sourdough baking, quick and easy dinners, and back to basics recipes.

She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Recreational Management and Youth Leadership and is a member of the Bread Baker’s Guild of America and the American Society of Baking. She's been blogging since 2009 and professionally since 2012 and her blog, Bless this Mess, reaches over 1,000,000 people monthly.

Melissa and her husband live on a 12-acre farm in Southern Utah with their 5 incredible children, chickens, rabbits, turkeys, honey bees, and a million night stars that only country life can show you. She loves to cook for friends and family, grow flowers and vegetables in her massive garden, read all the self-help books, and hike all over Utah.

LINKS

• Blog (Bless this Mess)
• Dessert Blog (Barbara Bakes)
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Pinterest
• Youtube
• Free recipes in email, free meal planning printables, and more

MENTIONED LINK

• Mia’s book Plan Simple Meals

Doable Changes from this episode:

• ASK FOR HELP. We tend to try to do it all alone, but that doesn’t work. If asking for help is hard for you, start with a small ask. It could be a few hours of babysitting, delegating a household task you hate, or hiring a VA for a small project.
• BATCH WORK. Whether it’s making a big batch of meals, prepping vegetables you’ll use throughout the week, or writing all your content in a block of time, batching work saves time. Instead of switching from task to task, you stick with one thing and jam out a bunch of stuff.
• MAKE A MEAL PLAN. There are two steps you can take in this one change. Make a master list of meals you can make (these should be things that you already know you like and how to make). Then set up a weekly rhythm—Monday soup night, Tuesday Tacos, etc. Fit foods from your master list into your rhythm.

The transition from summer to fall can be messy, exciting, sad — depends on who you are! In this episode, I give three strategies that you can implement today that will help you feel more ease this fall.

“Listen to your children, try to understand their world and where they're coming from.” 

–Dr. Abroes Pass-Turner

Do you ever dismiss or minimize what your kid is feeling? Do you ever feel like their emotions are out of control?  I’m really excited to talk with Dr. Ambroes Pass-Turner, doctor of counseling psychology and author of Rex's Journey: Helping Children Understand and Cope with Emotions, about emotional intelligence and helping kids regulate emotions.

So often we go into “fix it” mode when our kids have big emotions. We want to make things easier for them or we’re just trying to make dinner or get through the grocery line. But having kids bury emotions doesn’t help.

We know that when children learn how to regulate their emotions, they have less stress and less anxiety and they're better able to problem solve. As parents we can listen, validate emotions, and help kids work through them.

We talk about: 

• A simple breathing exercise to help kids calm down and start over
• The difference between validating and indulging feelings
• Modeling emotional regulation and processing for our kids
• The power of positive self-talk
• Working with ADHD or ADD in kids
• How parents and psychologists or other professionals work together to support kids

BIO

Dr. Ambroes Pass-Turner is a Doctor of Counseling Psychology and the owner of APT Counseling Services LLC. She is a professor at Grand Canyon University in the College of Humanities and Social Sciences and Georgia Military College. Dr. Ambroes Pass-Turner is an author and published the books Rex's Journey: Helping Children Understand and Cope with Emotions, ADHD Warrior: Helping Children Conquer ADHD Unwanted Behaviors, and Childhood Sexual Abuse: Pathway to Mental Health Issues and Delinquent Behavior. 

Dr. Pass-Turner has worked in mental health for over 20 years and has experience working with children and adults. Dr. Pass-Turner is an expert in working with behavioral and emotionally disturbed children, adults, families, and offenders within the criminal justice system. She is currently an Advisory board member for the Muscogee County Youth Detention Center Department of Juvenile Justice. Dr. Pass-Turner conducts professional seminars and workshops that focus on enhancing professional development and life skills.

LINKS

• drambroespass-turner.com
• Facebook aptcounselingservices
• Instagram Drambroes17
• Twitter DrAmbroes

Doable Changes from this episode:

• TRY BREATHING. Try this simple breathing exercise: Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, breathe out for four counts. Teach your kids to do a few rounds of breathing when they are upset before trying to do anything else. You can try it too if you are anxious or angry. You can even try breathing together.
• DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU SMILE. This came up twice in our conversation. Kids can use an activity they enjoy (one that really lights them up, not one that we like them to do). But parents need this too. We’ve all heard you need to put on your own oxygen mask first and that self-care is important. Think quality, not quantity, and choose the thing that really fills you up. That may not be the things you see on self-care lists.
• LISTEN AND EXPLORE. Really listen to your kids. Ask questions to explore what they are feeling and why. Your job isn’t to fix things, but to help them understand and work through their own emotions. You can help them see a new perspective without diminishing their feelings or telling them to get over it.

Sometimes it’s the simple little changes that make a HUGE difference in making our busy family lives feel a bit more manageable. I’m all about doable changes.

Here are 15 lifestyle hacks from my podcast guests to transform your family’s days. 

#1. Do a 5-minute decluttering. 

Overwhelmed by clutter or even the idea of decluttering? Try this tip from Katherine North: Set a timer for 5 minutes and see what you can clear in one area. Put dirty laundry in the hamper, backpacks in the closet, clear the coffee cup from your desk. This isn’t the time to sort through papers or wash the dishes. Just clear space.

#2. Cut down on how much stuff you have. 

The two things I hear most from families is that they are two busy and that they have too much stuff. Too much stuff can keep us busy, so I love this tip from Kim John Payne: Balancing and cutting down on how much stuff your child has (books, clothes, toys, etc.) can reduce pressure on your child and improve behavior. Start simply by cutting clutter to reduce the number of books, toys, clothes, gadgets and other extraneous items in a kid’s room and around the house in general.

#3. No inflow without outflow

Desha Peacock believes in upgrading our lives. She suggests working with the idea that for something to come in, something else needs to go out. If something is worn or not your style anymore or just doesn’t get used, trash it, donate it, or sell it to make room for things that you will use. (And if you are weighed down with stuff, start by simply making space before bringing anything new in.)

#4. Create an outbox. 

Decluttering can lead to other change, so I love this specific tip from Katherine North: Set up one space where anything that needs to leave your house—from library books to outgoing mail to a dish to return to your neighbor—goes. Put outgoing items in that one place, and when you leave the house check to see if anything needs to go with you.

#5. Play with your kids. 

Christie Kennedy Manuel talks about a lot of the power of moving your body—how it can clear your head, make you more intentional, give you better sleep, and help you feel better. One way to add some movement into your day is to play with your kids. Instead of using playground time to do more on your phone, run around with your kids. Run around with them, play tag. Get active. It’s good for you and for your kids—physically and for the fun and connected factor.

#6. Block off time for what you value—and batch the rest.

Marie Levey-Pabst advocates for making time for what we really value, but she gets that there is other stuff that just needs to get done. She suggests that you choose something you really value and create a block of time when you will do it. It doesn’t have to be 20 hours a week, but maybe one or two hours, or half an hour a day. Mark it in your planner. Then keep that appointment. Turn off notifications on your phone and have that focused time.

The stuff of life doesn’t go away just because you have focused on your values. Batch like tasks and block off time for that. This could look like setting aside an hour to make phone calls for appointments and deal with papers or setting aside an afternoon to batch cook meals for the week. It could even look like setting aside every Thursday for family time. You’ll know to say no to other engagements that day and if there are things you want to do—a movie you want to see or a museum you want to go to—you’ll schedule it on family day rather than dither about when to go.

#7. Systematize one thing. 

Mama CEO and planning expert Megan Flatt says to systematize one thing—and when you’ve gotten into that habit, set up another system. This doesn’t have to be complicated. Megan says, “I started by getting gas at the same time every week. I tied it to a school drop off. No more worrying about running out of gas or running late because I was searching out gas at the last minute.” You can systematize when you get gas or groceries, when you pay your bills, anything you do again and again. It’s amazing how much brain space you clear just by taking decision-making out of these regular tasks.

#8. Put everything—even down time—on your calendar. 

Morra Aarons Mele and I are on the same page when it comes to making sure all the important stuff is on your calendar. She encourages  you to respect your needs by scheduling everything on your calendar—including down time. Notice how you feel when you look at your calendar. If it is too jam packed, find what can give and add some more off time. Schedule in some down time before you get too busy.

#9. Cut things out that don’t serve you. 

It’s easy to say, “We’re so busy” and to feel that everything on your calendar has to happen. Amanda Hinman encourages you to look at your calendar focused on this questions: “Is this serving me?” Where you find things that don’t serve you, start making changes. You don’t have to quit everything today, but feel into where you can fit in more family downtime. And give yourself permission to ask, “But wait…what do we really want to be doing?”

#10. Make date night a regular thing. 

I haven’t always been good about date night, but life coach Shereen Thor urged me (and you!) to make it a priority. Ideally, date night becomes part of your regular weekly flow, but start with planning one. It’s more fun to have a family, more fun to be part of a couple when you have date night. Date night changes the communication and flow of energy, so you enjoy being together instead of just running through logistics together. And that flow of energy can carry over into so many other areas.

#11. Ask for help. 

Most of us are good at trying to do it all, but Ignite Radiance founder Star Stauback pushes women to ask for help. Put it out there what you need. Be willing to let somebody help.

If you aren’t used to asking for help or receiving and this feels hard, make a small ask: Can you watch my kids for half an hour so I can walk alone? Can you pick up milk for me while you are at the store? Hire a babysitter for the afternoon just to have some time to yourself. See that it’s OK. Get used to putting your needs forward and asking for and receiving help.

#12. Make a list or a spreadsheet. 

Online business pro and working mom advocate Monica Froese takes a tip from business and applies it to family: If there are things you do over and over, make a list or spreadsheet to keep track of it.

This helps, because you don’t have to keep all the loose pieces in your head, and by sharing that document, somebody else can help out. For example, your kids can help pack for a trip or your husband can take kids to an activity that you usually manage. By systematizing repeatable tasks, you free up time for other things.

#13. Make gathering for dinner a priority. 

I agree with wellness and lifestyle guru Latham Thomas that dinner is non-negotiable. This is a time for everything to be off, except attention on each other. Simplify your meal planning and involve everyone in the house to get dinner on the table. Prep on your days off to prepare for the week. Bring kids into the kitchen to help prep. Make dinner a priority because it will change your life and it will change your relationship with your kids.

#14. 15 minutes + all through the day

Personal Trainer Courtney Wycoff from Momma Strong knows that people don’t have a lot of time and also that movement is important for physical and mental health. She believes you can get cardio, strength, and rehab done in 15 minute chunks. But then she encourages you to add in strengthening abdominal work while you are standing in line or in the car or sitting at your desk. Making it a habit to add this in can change your nervous system and your attitude. 

#15. Support your spouse in front of kids, even if you disagree.  

If this sounds a little off, relationship expert Stacey Martino explains that you can support in the moment and discuss later. Talk about what you feel about an issue—and why. For example, if your husband wants the kids to clear their plates, in the moment, you could say, “Dad’s right. We’re lucky to have this food. We really should eat it.” Later, not in front of your kids, and not from a place of anger, talk about how you feel. You can say, “I was happy to support you at dinner tonight, but here’s how I really feel.” You can explain that having to clear your plate as a kid led to overeating for you and that you don’t want that for your kids. Ask your spouse what’s really important to them about the issue. Is it control? Is it not wasting? Is it fear that kids aren’t getting all the healthy stuff they need? Once you know where you are both coming from, you can adjust your reactions to support each other. 

Another way to do this is to let one parent lead on a particular area, and you do this by letting the person who is most passionate take the lead. Maybe you take the lead on food and your spouse takes the lead on education. The critical thing is that you go all in and support each other.

Do not get overwhelmed by this list! Please look over it. See which idea you feel really pulled towards and work on that one first. When you feel like you’ve got that one covered, move onto the next most meaningful one. There are no “shoulds” here. Let your gut and heart guide you. You know what needs to happen next.

I always love to hear what makes an impact on your life. Head over to the Plan Simple Instagram Feed,  and let me know your favorite hack and how you are using it in your life.

We established essentially a collaborative parenting style. We collaborate not only together, but with the children. 

–Katie Keene

Wouldn’t you love a peaceful home and respectful children? It can feel nearly impossible for parents, that’s why I’m talking with Katie and Steve Keene about home economy and collaborative parenting.

Collaborative parenting involves collaborating with each other, and their kids. Mom and dad are still in charge, but the kids wants and interests and opinions are heard. They set up a family government with clearly defined rules, expectations, and consequences (these apply to parents too). This allows kids to know what to expect.

They established a home economy that took pressure off of everyone to do all the things that need doing in a home. It also helped the kids become more independent and self-confident. Plus their kids are learning financial responsibility.

We talk about: 

• What a home economy actually looks like 
• Family meetings and developing a team mentality
• Starting with a long-term vision about what you want for your family 
• Coming to agreement about what you want kids to learn before they leave your house
• Accepting and learning from failure
• How to use the home economy model with kids who are schooled outside the house

BIO

Steve and Katie are family success consultants, as well as the creators of the Family Success

Secrets podcast. Steve also offers executive coaching for business owners looking to optimize

their team efficiency and employee satisfaction and retention rates.

They have been married for 20 years, have 5 incredible children, have lived through numerous

moves and military deployments while raising their family – all while discovering the special

needs that two of the children were born with.

They have endured hardship and have built joyful resilience through the process.

They love to travel, meet new people, eat good food, and are completely hooked on helping

families transform their lives from chaos and tension into lives lived with purpose and passion.

LINKS

• Find Katie and Steve here: https://linktr.ee/familysuccess
• Course: https://familysuccesssecrets.com/course

Doable Changes from this episode:

• MAKE A DECISION TOGETHER. Steve and Katie talk about growing up with different kinds of lights on their Christmas trees. They had to decide what they would do for their family: go with one option or the other, alternate years, combine? Find something where you and your partner have different ideas from upbringing or personal preference. Make a decision together for your family.
• VISION TOGETHER. If you are parenting with somebody else, you probably have different visions about what you want for your family and how to get there. Start with a long-term vision. What’s important to you? What are your preferences? What are your absolutes? How do you want to feel when kids come home to visit in 20 years? Get your long-term vision aligned before you try to make a plan or rules for now.
• LOWER EXPECTATIONS. Notice one thing you are expecting of yourself. It might be carefully posed pictures for the first day of school or having a pristine house or dinner looking perfect. How can you lower that expectation and give yourself a little grace? It might help to think about why it is important to you. Are you trying to meet others’ expectations or is there something valuable to you in the expectation? How can you keep the value but give more ease?

What we eat can support how we we work, mother, and take care of ourselves. Meals can be a grounding piece of our days and or family’s days, AND often the 21 meals that happen each week fall on us. So how do youo make that process easier, healthier and more fulfilling? That’s what we dive into in this episode.

The college application process doesn't have to be stressful, but it does take a lot of planning.

–Beth Pickett

Stressed about the college application process? It can be very ungrounding when we don’t understand a process, and the process has changed a lot in recent years. I’m talking with college admissions counselor and author of College Admissions: The Essential Guide for Busy Parents Beth Pickett to demystify the process.

Instead of starting with a list of schools, start with the student. Who are they? What do they want to do? What kind of environment do they want? The best school for many students may not be an Ivy—and many students, even top students won’t get into some of the schools they apply to.

Parents can start by looking at their own desires and expectations for their child. Are they trying to give the child something they didn’t have? Do they think a certain school is a golden ticket to financial security? Are they influenced by their own knowledge of certain schools or the reactions of their social circle? If you can recenter on your child and what will really serve them, it goes a long way.

We talk about: 

• Timeline of the process from thinking early about what classes a student will take in high school to actual application deadlines and what happens if a student graduates early
• Visiting colleges near you (even if you aren’t applying there) to get a sense of schools of different size and setting
• The importance of demonstrating interest
• Handling getting a no from a college (for parents and students) and why not to take it personally
• Using extracurriculars and summer experiences to explore interests to help make decisions about what you are looking for in a college
• Ways to decrease stress in the process

BIO

Beth Pickett is the founder of College Prep Counseling and Director of Academic and College Advising. She has been working with students across the U.S. as a college admissions counselor for more than a decade. Her clients and essay students have earned admission to Harvard, Yale, Brown, UC Berkeley, UCLA, Stanford, Williams, Tulane, Colgate, Cornell, and many other colleges and universities across the U.S.

A graduate of Stanford, Beth also earned a Certificate in College Counseling from UCLA and started working with families as an independent admissions consultant in 2007. She began teaching summer essay-writing seminars to 80+ rising seniors annually. By helping students learn to articulate their goals, Beth helps students learn about themselves and how to make a plan to move forward in a methodical and precise way. She feels privileged to mentor students as they navigate the rite of passage that is selective college admissions.

Beth is a member of the Higher Education Consultants Association (HECA) and resides in the seaside town of Ventura, California, with her two teenage boys.

LINKS

• College Admissions: The Essential Guide for Busy Parents
• https://www.facebook.com/groups/admissionessentials
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/beth-pickett-bb3463185/
• https://www.instagram.com/collegeprepcounseling/
• https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwQr0aEHdUREidpSxxiZfMw

MENTIONED LINKS 

• All About Hormones with Dr. Anna Cabeca

Doable Changes from this episode:

• CHECK YOUR OWN IDEAS. Get really clear on what you want out of this process. Questions to ask yourself: What do I want my child to get out of college? What do I think going to college (or a specific college) will do for my child? If I’m set on my child getting into a specific school, and Ivy or similar, why is that important to me? What do I consider a “good school”? How does feedback from family or friends affect my thoughts on where my child applies/goes? What concerns do I have about the process?
• GET THE BOOK. I got more and more clarity as I asked questions, but I wish I had started with a guide of timelines and checklists and coverage of things I didn’t even know to ask about. Beth’s book College Admissions: The Essential Guide for Busy Parents is that guide. Get a copy of the book and start reading!
• SCHEDULE LOCAL COLLEGE VISITS. Try visiting colleges within an hour (or within a reasonable drive). These do not have to be schools your child is considering, but they can start to get a sense for schools in different settings (e.g., urban vs. suburban) or sizes. Lay a baseline with colleges within easy reach.

Planning all things motherhood was something I resisted for a long time — mostly because I thought it was all about family vacations, medical forms, and school year extracurriculars. BUT, then I started understanding what really needed space, and I could see that if I did not leave time in my weeks for the pieces that actually make the the mom I want to be, they would never happen! I am talking about pauses before responding (or yelling), individual connection time, building a village, and so much more. Tune into this episode to see how I think about planning for motherhood every week.

This is part of a new solo series that will air each Saturday. To get notified, please make sure you are subscribed to the Plan Simple Podcast.