Hey! The boys are back from Christmas vacation, and they have a tough one to work through today. It's quite simple really, Once you go up, you never come down. Any distance you take vertically from the center of the earth, you never get back. Oh well, as long as you weren't on a plane this episode should do you some good should you find yourself in this scenario.

In Today's Episode: Planning For The Best, The Plane is Stuck, Efficient Organ Destruction, New Sleeping Positions, and some landmark moments in this podcast's history.

Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! It's Christmas! You know that probably though. If you're in the spirit of the holidays, let us warm your heart with a delicious cup of plasma chocolate, as we watch the boys take a flamethrower to Frosty in the front yard. Alternatively though, we could just listen to Sam and Preston TALK about those things. 

In Today's Episode: Hotter Chocolate, Santa Traps, Frosty Euthanasia, A Mission to Save Christmas, and an abundance of Christmas spirit.

SPORTS! SPORTS! SPORTS! THE BOYS LOVE SPORTS! But in this episode, the boys' sponsor: Grenade Co. wants them to find ways to combine their two favorite things: SPORTS and explosives. The boys look at five different sports, and try their very best to come up with something other than just replacing the ball with a grenade.

(Side-Note: Please send in Christmas related prompts at our social medias, at our email [email protected], or via the voice message feature in Anchor. Ho-ho-ho and all that.)

In Today's Episode: The Omni-Vehicle, Explosive Fastballs, Mega-Golf, The Pool Holes, New Rackets, and a very dangerous kind of shot clock.

Right off the bat, I want to apologize for the pepper. That was too much pepper and I know that. It dominated our episode from the start, and we're sorry. Anyways. In today's episode, Preston and Sam make a new friend: Reginald. Reggie to his friends, Reginald is an alien that crash landed in our boys' Motel 6. He gave them the task of taking him through the highs and lows of human experience in just one week. We did our best.

Side Note: Preston was uhhhhhh super tired at the start I guess. He gets better, I PROMISE.

In Today's Episode: Say When, Motel 6, Paris Crimes, Memories of Middle School, Art Day, and Preston hitting rock bottom.

Come one! Come all! There's a carnival in town and you're invited! In this episode, the boys take you on a walking tour of four different worlds, all with their own special problems, conflicts, and characters. From the incredibly silly to the deeply contemplative, this episode will truly show you the full range of human emotion. Or maybe it'll just make you laugh.

In Today's Episode: Super Frogs, Selling All Our Fondue, Around The World In 80 Seconds, Coach, and some of our best one liners to date.

"MMMMMMM HUNGRY" is the running theme of this episode, in which Sam and Preston desperately try conceptualize a pizza with EVERYTHING on it. The boys start small, by creating a pizza with every topping, but things ramp all the way into universe devouring pizza monsters. I promise, the hyper-pizza is bigger than you think.

In This Episode: All You Can't Eat Buffets, Too Much Water Talk, Esoteric Pizza Toppings, Cheese Caves, and the biggest pizza ever conceived.

In the long-awaited season two premiere, Sam and Preston go nocturnal! Sam is very tired and would like to sleep, perhaps indefinitely. To aid this the boys have a simple goal: turn off the lights. And not just their table-side lamps, the boys tackle every light source from massive challenges like the sun to simple tasks like killing every firefly. 

(We accidentally published an unfinished draft of this, and in that time, two of you listened to it. We see you. We know your pain.)

In Today's Episode: The Big Sick, Solar Dome, Moon Brakes, Doing A Chernobyl, and one or two bioluminescent genocides...

In their most dramatic episode yet, Sam helps Preston take on his greatest rival, the Atlantic Ocean. The boys discuss several ideas, varying in effectiveness and plausibility, for getting ALL of the water out. 

In Today's Episode: Several Cups of Juice, Living On The Edge, Superglue Squad, The Rule of Threes, and some of Sam and Preston's most haunting memories.

At its heart, this episode is about friendship. Aside from all the murder that is. Preston and Sam welcome two friends to this episode: their first guest Ethan, as well as long time friend of the podcast: Kevin James. In fact we estimate that this podcast contains more Kevin James than potentially any piece of media in human history. The Boys + Ethan discuss which Kevin James character would be best suited for a battle royale between ALL of his characters.

In Today's Episode: Good Fathers, The Stiller Elf, Every Frame A Kevin, Santa Bullets, and an Armored Battle Segway.

Ethan's Documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPKwAGJbRds&authuser=0

In their most Elvis episode yet, Preston and Sam get down and dirty with ElvisLand: A society made for Elvises by Elvises. Imagine all the Elvis Impersonators went to live together on a trash island. The only problem is, they don't realize the true Elvis faked his death and is the rightful heir to the ElvisLand throne. Preston and Sam plan to solve this problem.

In Today's Episode: Baby's First Voodoo Doll, Impersonator Impersonators, Funny Elvis Pranks, Opioids Through The Window, and the best joke Preston ever told.