By Dr. Z. - Patricia Zurita Ona, Psy.D.
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The podcast currently has 92 episodes available.
Today, I’m sharing with you a conversation with Dr. Mitchell Greene, Ph.D. In our chat, we dive deep into the psychology of goal-setting, attachment to goals, over-identification with one area of our life, peak performance, and mental resilience.
While having goals is essential for your performance and motivation, they are just one piece of the puzzle. You also need to manage your mental chatter to perform at your best when it matters to you!
You will hear Mitchell and I sharing our take on Roger Federer, Rick Barry, Kobe Bryant, Andre Agassi, and other professional athletes’ approach to their performance, expectations, and goal-setting.
Whether you’re dealing with high-stakes sports scenarios or everyday life challenges, the principles to set your goals, how you relate to them, and how you approach your mental chatter remain the same.
You can find meaning and joy by making small tweaks and savoring the good along the way!
Hope you enjoy this episode!
Key Takeaways
Show notes
01:01 The Importance of Goal Setting
01:08 The Problem with Tunnel Vision
01:44 Importance of Outcome Goals
02:45 The Role of Action Goals
03:43 Goal setting and mental chatter
04:34 Managing Chatter for Success
05:30 Developing a New Relationship with Your Mind
06:01 Lessons from Roger Federer
06:43 Advice for Struggling Athletes
07:22 Mental Game of Professional Athletes
08:58 Perfectionism in Sports
11:42 Small Increments of Improvement
13:15 Leadership Challenges in Sports
13:55 Balancing Life and Sport
16:10 The Impact of Injuries on a Person’s Mindset
16:52 Parental Influence on Young Athletes
18:02 Coaching the Coaches
(*) Show notes and resources of this episode
(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe
(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head
(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In part 1 of my conversation with Monica Basco, Ph.D., Exploring the intersection of perfectionism, procrastination, and performance, we discussed the following topics:
In this second part of our conversation, Monica kindly shared her transition from academia to the White House as an introduction to the focus of this episode: the intersection of perfectionism and imposter phenomenon.
Perfectionists set exceptionally high standards for themselves, displaying a relentless drive to achieve what they perceive as flawless outcomes. However, when these standards are not met, it can lead to feelings of failure and inadequacy. Even when they succeed, perfectionists may fear that others will see through their façade, further perpetuating the imposter phenomenon.
A highlight of our conversation is the importance of discerning when perfectionistic actions are an asset and when they become a liability.
Key Takeaways
Show notes with time-stamps
00:00 The Intersection of Perfectionism and Imposter Phenomenon
05:03 Personal Story: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
10:10 Transition from Academia to the White House
16:12 The Role of Perfectionism in Government and Science
18:23 Fear of Failure and Perfectionism
22:52 How Different Fears Influence Behavior
(*) Show notes and resources of this episode
(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe
(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head
(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Drop your standards! Let go of your perfectionistic tendencies!
If I were paid a dollar every time I heard this message, I would have a large bank account by now.
When you’re pursuing a top performance – from athletic to intellectual to artistic ones – it’s fundamental that you distinguish those common principles that improve your performance and your well-being altogether.
In this episode, Brad Stulberg and I discussed research-based skills to deal with high-achieving and striving behaviors in a skillful manner and without losing yourself.
Key Takeaways
Show notes with time stamps
00:31 Understanding Fear-Based Reactions
01:02 Overcoming Perfectionism
01:36 Interview with Brad Stulberg: High Achieving and Striving Behaviors
02:19 Reflecting on Your Life and Overcoming Overthinking
03:28 Living According to Your Values
04:10 Using a Values-Based Review to Live the Life You Want
04:46 Conversation with Brad Stulberg: Balancing Productivity and Wellbeing
05:43 Understanding the Double-Edged Sword of Optimization
08:44 Dealing with Fear of Failure and Regret
17:48 Navigating Ego-Driven Goals and Values-Based Goals
24:09 Overcoming Experiential Avoidance
(*) Show notes and resources of this episode
(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe
(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head
(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Perfectionism isn’t a personality quirk. It’s a pattern of reinforced behaviors that can seep into every aspect of your life.
You may set certain standards for yourself, certain rules about how things are supposed to be or how you are supposed to behave; while you may meet those standards for a while, they eventually - and inevitably - fall short. Then, you feel crushed. Then, you criticize yourself. And then, to drown out the negativity, you set new goals, standards, and expectations for yourself. The cycle of ineffective perfectionistic actions repeats and maintains itself.
There is nothing wrong with striving to do things right and perfectly - that’s natural when you deeply care about things and what matters to you. And, as you have heard me say before, it’s extremely important that you learn to harness the power of perfectionistic actions without losing yourself.
In this podcast episode, I chat with Monica Basco, Ph.D. We discuss specific topics related to perfectionism in detail:
(a) A large part of the conversation clarifies how having high standards and being perfectionistic can be both, beneficial and detrimental, and finding the balance between the two is crucial.
(b) We also discussed the interplay between perfectionistic behaviors and procrastination as two sides of the same coin.
(c) Monica and I highlighted the fact that setting high-goals is productive when one can tolerate failure. However, learning to pursue what matters and learning to let things go - as the right thing to do - is also important.
(d) Finally, we discuss ideas for you to conduct a functional analysis, or in other words, we discuss key questions for you to understand your drive to engage in perfectionistic actions (e.g., what is my mind trying to protect me from right now?)
Key Takeaways
Show notes with time-stamps
01:00 Understanding Fear and Perfectionism
01:31 Dealing with Perfectionism and High-Achieving Behaviors
02:35 Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Perfectionism
04:14 Setting Goals and Dealing with Failure
05:12 Understanding Overachievement and Expectations
08:37 Dealing with Rejection and Pursuing Goals
20:43 Understanding the Intersection of Perfectionism and Procrastination
(*) Show notes and resources of this episode
(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe
(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head
(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Today’s episode takes off with discussing fears of driving. This is the starting point to discuss a key process within acceptance commitment therapy: values-based exposures.
In this episode, you will learn the principles to approach your fears, worries, and anxieties in a flexible way and in the service of your values.
Brian Thompson, Ph.D. and I covered different ACT skills such as defusion, values, willingness and what you can do if you’re getting stuck in conquering your fears or you’re afraid of starting the process of facing your anxieties.
Key Takeaways
Show notes with time stamps
00:31 Understanding Fear-Based Reactions and Safe Behaviors
01:00 Exploring Exposure Therapy and Anxiety
01:09 Dealing with Physical Sensations During Panic Attacks
02:44 Strategies to Manage Anxiety and Fear
03:39 Addressing Intrusive Thoughts and Fears
04:16 Understanding Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
07:33 Exploring Willingness in Therapy
14:28 Addressing Fear of Uncertainty
17:28 Introduction to ACT-Informed Exposure for Anxiety
19:19 Discussing the Book and Its Approach
19:44 Recommendations for Approaching the Book
19:45 Understanding the Process of Exposure
20:38 The Role of Repetition in Exposure
21:37 Handling Chronic Worries and Ruminations
22:12 Using ACT for Chronic Worry
23:11 Writing Imaginal Scripts for Worries
26:13 Effective Problem Solving vs. Worry
26:50 Distinguishing Between Productive and Unproductive Worry
(*) Show notes and resources of this episode
(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe
(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head
(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ever catch yourself engaging in incessant mind chatter in a high-stakes situation? The kind that fills your head with self-doubt, comparisons, and anticipations of failure? You're not alone. We all do it. But what if there was a way to overcome these self-limiting beliefs and embrace life's challenges with confidence?
I had a chance to talk to Dr. Mitchell Greene, Ph.D. regarding performance anxiety, managing self-doubt, and comparison thoughts among athletes or overthinkers.
If you have been following the podcast, you know by now that by making room for your thoughts, rather than struggling against them, you can redirect your focus towards the present moment and towards what matters.
In today’s episode, we discussed other micro-skills to manage mental chatter with curiosity and courage.
Key Takeaways
(*) Show notes and resources of this episode
(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe
(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head
(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Picture this scenario: you encounter an ambiguous and uncertain situation, and then, of course, you quickly try to solve it. You anticipate all types of scenarios and try to prepare for each one of them, without realizing you are worrying and consumed with anxiety.
Worry is primarily a thought-based process, and that’s what makes it tricky. Unpacking worry thoughts and distinguishing the unhelpful from the helpful ones are crucial.
We all worry from time to time, that’s unavoidable. But playing-it-safe by worrying all the time takes a hefty toll on your well-being, happiness, and relationships.
In this episode, I interview Dr. Chad Lejeune, Ph.D.
We discussed the subtleties of worrying, what keeps worry cycles, and the importance of developing a new relationship with your mind. In the second part of the interview, I shared with Chad an unexpected situation I encountered when traveling, and we used that as an opportunity to discuss micro-skills to manage uncertainty, what-if thoughts, and reassurance-seeking and information-seeking behaviors.
Key Takeaways
Show notes with time stamps
00:27 Understanding Fear and Anxiety
01:26 Defining Worry and Its Impact
02:27 Distinguishing Between Worry and Problem-Solving
05:50 The Consequences of Worry
06:43 Addressing Beliefs About Worry
11:27 Changing Our Relationship with Our Thoughts
17:41 Practical Example: Dealing with Unexpected Situations
22:59 The Power of Productive Thoughts
23:56 The Mind's Narratives and Their Impact
25:46 The Distinction Between Problem Solving and Worrying
28:15 The Power of Acceptance and Living in the Present
28:20 The Pitfalls of Excessive Information Seeking
29:12 The Role of Google in Reassurance Seeking
32:29 The Importance of Embracing Uncertainty
(*) Show notes and resources of this episode
(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe
(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head
(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
We all experience anxiety in some form, in some way, and in some shape. Because anxiety, fears, and worries can be so uncomfortable, we quickly play-it-safe. And when you’re prone to deeply caring for what you do - as high-achievers, strivers, and perfectionists - then the fears of being a failure or not being good enough are amplified.
In this conversation, Annick Seys and I discussed the many layers in which these fears show up and how nourishing your observer-self can shift from self-criticism into self-acceptance, from self-judgment into self-compassion, and from emotional avoidance into curious behaviors.
Cultivating your observer-self isn't just about self-distancing; it is about your well-being and living a purpose-driven life.
Key Takeaways
Show notes with time stamps
00:31 Understanding Fear-Based Reactions
01:00 The Struggles of Time Management
01:07 Dealing with Disappointments and Failures
05:31 Exploring Self-Acceptance
06:01 The Ongoing Exercise of Self-Acceptance
11:45 Unpacking the Fear of Failure
14:12 The Impact of Toxic Positivity
17:47 Tapping into the Observer Self
18:01 Exercises to Connect with the Observer Self
20:50 Understanding the Observer Self
24:03 Experiencing Different Moods
26:11 Relating to Past Experiences
29:59 Overcoming the Fear of Failure
(*) Show notes and resources of this episode
(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe
(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head
(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Do you find yourself anxiously anticipating rejection in everyday situations?
The fear of being rejected or judged leads to a hyper-awareness of others' facial expressions, opinions, or anticipation of rejection. It’s like you’re expecting others will reject you and interpret a situation using those lenses. This interplay between rejection sensitivity and anxiety influences how you navigate your relationships.
Understanding the root of rejection sensitivity and its connection to anxiety is pivotal to stop playing-it-safe automatically.
In today’s episode, I interview Ozlem Ayduk, Ph.D.
We delve deeper into the psychological processes behind rejection sensitivity and anxiety. You will hear practical strategies to break free from the shackles of rejection sensitivity and anxiety.
Key Takeaways
FREE VALUES-BASED REVIEW (21-PAGES)
How often do you play-it-safe? How often do you get stuck in your head? How often do you notice a gap between the life you want to live and the life you're living? You aren’t alone.
When dealing with doubts, worries, anxieties, or fears, it's quite likely that you spend a lot of time in your head, thinking and thinking and relying on all types of strategies to manage all those anxious thoughts.
If you’re ready to get out of your head and break free from those barriers that stand between you and the life you want to live, this practical 21-page guide will help you get back on track!
The reality is that most of us live life letting life happen to us, and if we’re lucky, we figure out what’s truly important to us and what we want to stand for. So, another way to check how we're really living is by pausing, checking what truly matters to you, and whether your actions are congruent with those values or not.
It includes a description of 9 life areas, a values thesaurus, a values-dashboard, and reflective prompts for each area in your life.
Click here
(*) Show notes and resources of this episode
(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe
(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head
(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Self-compassion is the willingness to respond to your pain and suffering in the same way a good friend of yours might–with warmth, patience, and understanding. That sounds easy, right? But you know it isn’t.
For many, self-criticism is a classic playing-it-safe move. It’s like your mind is a champion at criticizing you in response to those moments in which you feel anxious about something that has happened or could happen.
Which of the following fear statements resonate with you?
Ask yourself: “Am I afraid of compassion?”
In this episode, I chat with Paul Gilbert, the developer of Compassion Focused Therapy.
Key Takeaways
(*) Show notes and resources of this episode
(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe
(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head
(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The podcast currently has 92 episodes available.