PLAYING-IT-SAFE

She got the answer. Felt better for twelve minutes. Then she asked again.

Reassurance-seeking is one of the most common and least-recognized playing-it-safe behaviors. It looks like due diligence. It feels like self-care. And it is quietly tightening the anxiety loop every time you do it.

This episode is for anyone who has ever Googled the same question in six different ways, or sent the same question to three different people to see if the answer would finally stick.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Why reassurance feels like relief but functions like a tightening spiral
• What Stanley Rachman's research reveals about why safety behaviors maintain, not reduce, anxiety
• How Michel Dugas's intolerance of uncertainty model explains why more information is never enough
• ACT skills for interrupting the checking loop without white-knuckling through it
• The values-based reason the checking is worth interrupting

Resources mentioned:

• Playing-It-Safe Questionnaire: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/

About Dr. Z: Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona, Dr. Z., is a licensed psychologist, author of eight books, and TEDx speaker who has spent over 18 years helping overthinkers and overachievers stop letting anxiety make their decisions. She is the founder of East Bay Behavior Therapy Center in Walnut Creek, California, and the host of the Playing It Safe podcast. Her TEDx talk "Stop Playing It Safe and Start Living" has over 265,000 views.

If this episode helped you recognize one playing-it-safe move in your own life, a review on Apple Podcasts means everything to me. I read every single one.

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STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS

GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX:

Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/

HERE IS WHERE TO START:

1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/

2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/

3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/

4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/

5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The presentation went well. For two days after, he couldn't stop replaying the four seconds when he lost his train of thought.

His mind decided those four seconds were the truth about the whole thing, not the standing ovation. The four seconds.

That's overvaluing and overidentifying with your thoughts, which is playing-it-safe behavior #7.

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we call it cognitive fusion, and research shows that the harder you try to push the thought away, the louder it comes back.

The skill isn't changing the thought. It's changing your relationship to it.

_______

STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS

WHO AM I?

My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z.

I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).

I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties.

I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes.

My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life!

GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX:

Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/

HERE IS WHERE TO START:

1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/

2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/

3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/

4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/

5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After a distraction, it takes an average of 23 minutes to return to the original task.

Not because you're weak. Because your environment was built using the same behavioral principles as slot machines to pull your attention away from what matters.

Final episode of the Anxious Procrastinator series, the neuroscience of focus and what committed action actually looks like when you bring everything together.

What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe?

_______

STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS

WHO AM I?

My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z.

I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).

I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties.

I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes.

My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life!

GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX:

Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/

HERE IS WHERE TO START:

1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/

2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/

3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/

4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/

5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Accurately estimating how hard something will be requires sitting with the discomfort of its difficulty. And your mind would rather not.

In this new episode of Playing-It-Safe we discussed the research on time, flow states, and four principles that actually work for overthinkers and overachievers.

What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe?

_______

STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS

WHO AM I?

My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z.

I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).

I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties.

I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes.

My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life!

GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX:

Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/

HERE IS WHERE TO START:

1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/

2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/

3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/

4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/

5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"I want to finish this project" sounds like moving toward something. But, underneath it is often "I'm terrified of what it means if I don't."

New episode of Playing-It-Safe: the three goal traps and the research on what actually produces commitment, satisfaction, and follow-through.

What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe?

_______

STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS

WHO AM I?

My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z.

I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).

I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties.

I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes.

My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life!

GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX:

Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/

HERE IS WHERE TO START:

1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/

2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/

3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/

4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/

5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your mind has a highly convincing list of reasons why right now isn’t the right time.

In this episode, we unpack why those excuses sound so incredibly rational, how your brain uses them to keep you safe (and stuck), and the one behavioral shift that actually moves you forward.

_______

STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS

WHO AM I?

My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z.

I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).

I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties.

I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes.

My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life!

GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX:

Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/

HERE IS WHERE TO START:

1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/

2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/

3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/

4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/

5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most high achievers believe being hard on themselves is what keeps them sharp.

The research disagrees.

People with higher self-compassion show greater motivation after failure, not less. And they procrastinate significantly less.

New episode of the Playing-It-Safe Podcast: why the second arrow might be the thing most keeping you stuck.

What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe?

_______

STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS

WHO AM I?

My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z.

I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).

I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties.

I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes.

My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life!

GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX:

Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/

HERE IS WHERE TO START:

1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/

2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/

3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/

4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/

5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

External achievements account for only about 10% of lasting happiness.

The 40% within your control? How you spend your time and what meaning you attach to it.

New episode of the Playing-It-Safe Podcast: the research on values, meaning, and the birthday party exercise that shows you exactly where the gap is.

What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe?

_______

STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS

WHO AM I?

My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z.

I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).

I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties.

I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes.

My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life!

GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX:

Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/

HERE IS WHERE TO START:

1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/

2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/

3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/

4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/

5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your mind isn't lazy!

Researchers found that people who chronically procrastinate are more threat-sensitive. Not less motivated.

What would you do this week if you weren't playing it safe?

RESOURCES:

Values-based Review: Life Audit

_______

STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS

WHO AM I?

My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z.

I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).

I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties.

I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes.

My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life!

GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX:

Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/

HERE IS WHERE TO START:

1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/

2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/

3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/

4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/

5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Dr. Z. dives deep into the world of procrastination, debunking common myths, exploring the different types of procrastinators, and unpacking the psychological processes that fuel our tendency to delay.

Debunking the Myths of Procrastination

Many of us have internalized misconceptions about procrastination. Dr. Z. tackles these head-on, revealing that procrastination is rarely about laziness or poor time management. Instead, it often stems from deeper psychological factors. For example, the myth that people “work better under pressure” is just that—a myth. Research shows that last-minute work rarely leads to better results and often increases stress. Similarly, blaming procrastination on a lack of willpower oversimplifies the issue; it’s more about understanding and addressing the underlying factors that drive problematic procrastination.

Six Reflective Questions to Break the Cycle

Dr. Z. shares six reflective questions to unpack the psychological roots of procrastinating behaviors.

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.