This week, Please See Above welcomes special guest host Alexandra Alvarez, also known as @TheStudioCityBarbie, for a deeply honest conversation about what it really means to start over.

After losing her brother in 2016, Alexandra moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in film and television while quietly battling dark and self destructive thoughts. When her mother’s cancer resurged, she made the difficult decision to move back home to San Antonio to support her family. Now in Las Vegas, she reflects on rebuilding her life once again.

This is not a story about starting from scratch or wiping the slate clean. It is about starting from experience. About carrying grief, ambition, responsibility, and resilience all at once. A powerful conversation about loss, reinvention, and the courage it takes to begin again differently. It's Eric's favorite Episode to date!

This week on Please See Above, Eric reflects on seeing Jennette McCurdy in person during her book tour for Half His Age, and the profound, eye-opening experience of hearing her speak candidly about the writing process behind the novel.

Eric shares his deep appreciation for McCurdy’s commitment to nuance — her rejection of black-and-white narratives, her willingness to sit with discomfort, and her belief that there is something deeply real and truthful living inside those uneasy spaces. He reflects on her perspective on embracing rage as a powerful, often misunderstood emotion, and how hearing her articulate that reshaped the way he understood both the book and its emotional weight.

He also had a genuinely wonderful time, and yes — got a signed copy of the book… so there’s that lol.

In this episode, Eric reflects on his past relationship patterns and asks a question he keeps coming back to: why do we, as humans, put ourselves in situations that end up breaking our hearts?Through honest storytelling and uncomfortable self-reflection, he walks through past relationships, repeated cycles, and the in-between moments that shaped how he learned to love — fear of being alone, unmet needs, emotional avoidance, and coping in ways he didn’t yet understand.Rather than approaching these experiences with shame or blame, this episode holds them with compassion and curiosity, ending with reflection on where he is now — more aware, more present, and learning how to love without abandoning himself.

This week, Eric shares an unplanned, mostly unedited episode recorded from a place of emotional heaviness.He reflects on what it feels like to love deeply and not always feel seen in return, and the quiet grief that can come with questioning the reciprocity of that love. He’s here and there—naming the weight of emotional imbalance and the discomfort of finding himself in the middle of things that aren’t his to resolve.He also sits with nostalgia, especially around the holidays, and the longing for the family he once had—the necessary illusion of togetherness that once held everything together. He allows himself to sit with the hard reality that his family, as he knew it, is disintegrated.There’s no big takeaway here—just honesty, presence, and allowing the weight of things to exist without rushing to fix them.

Recorded while sick (and later confirmed COVID), this weeks' episode explores what happens when your body is depleted and your mind goes into overdrive.

Eric reflects on how illness lowers emotional defenses, making old insecurities and trauma feel louder and more convincing. From emotional overwhelm to a disappointing onesie moment, this episode connects the dots between physical exhaustion and mental spirals.

This isn’t regression—it’s depletion. And sometimes, the kindest thing you can do is rest.

This week, Eric shares one of the most formative — and painful — experiences of his childhood. He reflects on the loneliness, the confusion, and the trauma he endured, and how childhood sexual abuse shaped his insecurities, his body image, and the way he approached intimacy as he grew into adulthood. With vulnerability and clarity, he talks about the little boy who wanted to be chosen, the moment that humiliated him, and the healing that has allowed him to see himself with new eyes. This episode is about reclaiming identity, honoring your inner child, and learning that while trauma shapes us, it does not define our worth.

Content Warning: this episode discusses childhood sexual abuse.

In this episode of Please See Above, Eric sits down with guest and friend Ashton Guerrero (@GrimLeaf) to explore the emotional growth Ash has experienced over the past six months following a traumatic breakup. After deciding to move from Los Angeles to Missouri with their partner, Ash was blindsided when the relationship ended mid-move.

The conversation follows Ash’s journey as they rebuild their life in Sacramento — unlearning old insecurities, navigating adulthood with more confidence, making new friends, appreciating long-standing ones, and opening their heart to someone new.

It’s the podcast’s longest and deepest episode yet, offering an honest look at heartbreak, healing, and what it takes to start over.

This week, Eric dives into Wicked: For Good—the social and political threads woven through Oz, and why the story was never about Dorothy to begin with. He unpacks Elphaba’s radical self-acceptance, Glinda’s beautifully messy unraveling, and the painfully honest portrayal of toxic family dynamics through Nessa Rose. What follows is a reflection on friendship, identity, breaking cycles, setting boundaries, choosing yourself, and the technicolor growth that happens when your bubble finally pops.

This week, Eric opens up about the emotional reality of ending two friendships that once felt meaningful. Through honesty and humor, he shares how mixed signals, emotional distance, poor communication, and one-sided effort slowly drained connections he cared deeply about.Eric reflects on the difference between people who want closeness and people who are actually ready for it, how his ADHD “all-in” heart often gives more than it gets, and what it means to finally choose peace, clarity, and reciprocity over confusion and half-energy friendships.This episode explores growing up, outgrowing people, and learning to protect your emotional space — even when you still care about the people you’re walking away from.

This Week, Eric steps aside and lets his friend Giovanni (@gio_lora93) take over as guest host to share his experience of starting over.

After the end of a ten-year relationship, Giovanni finds himself navigating the quiet in-between — the space where you learn to exist on your own again. Through deep self-reflection, he rediscovers his independence, his gratitude for family, and the sense of renewal that comes with embracing new beginnings: a new job, new friendships, and a new rhythm of life.

It’s an honest reflection on rebuilding after loss, choosing to stay hopeful, and accepting that healing isn’t a straight line. Sometimes it’s messy and a little bit fucked up — but hey, that’s healing for you.