Pod Sematary

Hey, all! I know it's been a bit over a month since we last posted. Things have been wild and we still don't know when we'll be back, but we do plan on starting episodes up again as soon as we can. In the meantime, why don't you join us over on Discord at the link below? We love each and every one of you and really miss this. Thank you for being so cool.

—Chris

Pod Sematary Discord: https://discord.gg/fQY2uSRv2Z

Get more at patreon.com/podsematary! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1582134931198615552

CW: Rape, Incest, Suicide, Domestic Violence

It’s Halloween Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey watch some pretty bad Halloween movies, unfortunately. There is yelling.

The Classic Film: Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

"Six years after Michael Myers last terrorized Haddonfield, he returns there in pursuit of his niece, Jamie Lloyd, who has escaped with her newborn child, for which Michael and a mysterious cult have sinister plans” (IMDb.com). It happened. We've been mostly forgiving of the Halloween sequels, but 6—with its magic runes and nonsense plot—is absolutely the worst.

The Modern Film: Halloween Ends (2022)

"The saga of Michael Myers and Laurie Strode comes to a spine-chilling climax in this final installment of this trilogy” (IMDb.com). Despite giving us something we didn't know we needed (a smiling Laurie Strode), Halloween Ends decides to cap off the entire series by being mostly about some brand new character you don't like killing a bunch of other people you don't like.

Audio Sources:

"Awakening: Part 1" (Gargoyles S01E01) produced by Disney Television Animation

"Halloween" (1978) produced by Compass International Pictures, et al.

"Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers" produced by Miramax, et al.

"Halloween Ends" produced by Blumhouse Productions, et al.

"Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back" produced by View Askew Productions, et al.

"Léon: The Professional" produced by Gaumont, et al.

"Liar Liar" produced by Universal Pictures & Imagine Entertainment

"Science Fiction/Double Feature" written by Richard O'Brien & Richard Hartley and performed by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

"Split" produced by Universal Pictures, et al.

Get more at www.patreon.com/podsematary! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1579246708701085696

It’s Hellraiser Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey once again explore the further reaches of experience!

The Classic Film: Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)

"An investigative reporter must send the newly unbound Pinhead and his legions back to Hell” (IMDb.com). After the initial classic and the better-than-you-might-expect sequel, the scope of the Hellraiser mythos spreads to the city streets, but has the series jumped the shark yet?

The Modern Film: Hellraiser (2022)

"A take on Clive Barker's 1987 horror classic where a young woman struggling with addiction comes into possession of an ancient puzzle box, unaware that its purpose is to summon the Cenobites” (Hulu). A complete refresh of the series, Hulu's Hellraiser joins the small collection of modern reboots that actually aren't that bad.

Audio Sources:

"Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" produced by De Laurentiis Entertainment Group, et al.

"Hellraiser" (1987) produced by New World Pictures, et al.

"Hellraiser" (2022) produced by 20th Century Studios, et al.

"Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth" produced by Fifth Avenue Entertainment & Trans Atlantic Entertainment

"Hellraiser (VNV Nation Remix)" written by Johan van Roy and performed by Suicide Commando

"Jim Gaffigan: Beyond the Pale" produced by Chimichanga Productions, et al.

Get more at www.patreon.com/podsematary! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1577078428536143874

CW: Rape, Sexual Assault, Antisemitism, Racism, Homophobia, Harm to Animals

It’s Psycho Men Week on Pod Sematary and OUR 500th MOVIE!! Chris & Kelsey were going to see a punk show to celebrate but they had to return some video tapes.

The Classic Film: American Psycho (2000)

"A wealthy New York City investment banking executive, Patrick Bateman, hides his alternate psychopathic ego from his co-workers and friends as he delves deeper into his violent, hedonistic fantasies” (IMDb.com). This satirical indictment of 80s yuppie excess and unchecked male aggression certainly goes places, but is one of those places actually... misogyny?

The Modern Film: Green Room (2015)

"A punk rock band is forced to fight for survival after witnessing a murder at a neo-Nazi skinhead bar” (IMDb.com). Anton Yelchin's final theatrical release, Green Room is American History X with more raw violence and none of the histrionics.

Audio Sources:

"American Psycho" produced by Lions Gate Films, et al.

"Green Room" produced by Broad Green Pictures & Film Science

"Nazi Punks Fuck Off" written by Jello Biafra and performed by Dead Kennedys

Get more at www.patreon.com/podsematary! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1574149430466387969

It’s an Addams Family Double Feature on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey gladly feast on those who would subdue them!

The "Original": The Addams Family (1991)

"Con artists plan to fleece an eccentric family using an accomplice who claims to be their long-lost uncle” (IMDb.com). The 90s Addams Family managed to modernize the famous horror brood without losing their wit and bite, but does it still hold up?

The "Remake": The Addams Family (2019)

"The eccentrically macabre family moves to a bland suburb where Wednesday Addams' friendship with the daughter of a hostile and conformist local reality show host exacerbates conflict between the families” (IMDb.com). While showing an occasional glimpse of quality, this Addams reboot is ultimately just a lame Illumination wannabe with often-flat humor and tired jokes.

Audio Sources:

"The Addams Family" (1991) produced by Orion Pictures, et al.

"The Addams Family" (2019) produced by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, et al.

"The Addams Family in New York" (The Addams Family [1973 TV Series] S01E01) produced by Hanna-Barbera Productions

"Children of the Corn" (1984) produced by Hal Roach Studios, et al.

"Frankenstein" (1931) produced by Universal Pictures

"Street Fighter" (1994) produced by Capcom Entertainment, et al.

"Watchmen" (2009) produced by Warner Bros., et al.

CW: Child Abuse/Molestation, Rape, Suicide

It’s Creepy Bromance Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey have been keeping the wrong sort of friends lately.

The Classic Film: Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)

"Arriving in Chicago, Henry moves in with ex-con acquaintance Otis and starts schooling him in the ways of the serial killer” (IMDb.com). This first-time outing from John McNaughton is well-directed and features a killer performance from Michael Rooker, but it certainly isn't for everyone. It's what Chris might call "effective stuff" or... "compelling stuff."

The Modern Film: Creep (2014)

"A young videographer answers an online ad for a one-day job in a remote town to record the last messages of a dying man” (IMDb.com). Creep is a testament to what can be made with two buddies and a camera. Accept no excuses from the Thankskillings of the world.

Audio Sources:

"Colonel Homer" (The Simpsons S03E20) produced by Gracie Films & 20th Century Fox Television

"Creep" (2014) produced by Blumhouse Productions & Duplass Brothers Productions

"Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer" produced by Maljack Productions

"My Mistake" written by R. Brandle & P. Petraitis and performed by Lynne and the Lizards

"Peachfuzz Theme (The Heart of a Lion)" written by Mark Duplass & Kyle Field and performed by Little Wings

"Science Fiction/Double Feature" written by Richard O'Brien & Richard Hartley and performed by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

Get more at www.patreon.com/podsematary! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1569075721519374337

CW: Alcoholism

It’s our second Birthday Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey use a ouija board for their birthdays and resurrect defective children's show animatronics!

The Classic Film: Don't Panic (1987)

"On his seventeenth birthday, Michael unwittingly unlocks the evil forces of a Ouija board” (IMDb.com). Often touted as the Nightmare on Elm Street of Mexico, this wacky "B" movie is pretty bad but in a very charming way.

The Modern Film: The Banana Splits Movie (2019)

"A family attends a live taping of The Banana Splits television series, but are forced to survive as soon as the characters go haywire and start a killing spree around the studio” (IMDb.com). There's a great concept, a lot of practical love, and some admirable spirit in this twisted resurrection of an actual 60s children's show, but while it may be respectable, the end product is not really much to look at.

Audio Sources:

"The Banana Splits Move" produced by Blue Ice Pictures & Blue Ribbon Content

"Don't Panic" produced by Producciones Galubi S.A. de C.V. & Producciones Torrente S.A.

"Don't Panic" (Cover Version) written by Jon Michael Bischof & performed by Tanner Sega (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKtp8k2yrwQ)

"The Lost Boys" produced by Warner Bros.

"Orgazmo" produced by Kuzui Enterprises, et al.

"Total Recall" (1990) produced by Carolco Pictures & Estudios Churubusco Azteca S.A.

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1566193505340313600

It’s Birthday Rituals Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey watch some birthday-themed horror centered around sinister rituals for Chris' special day!

The Classic Film: Alison's Birthday (1981)

"A young girl is subjected to a reign of terror so that her soul can be transferred to the body of an old crone” (IMDb.com). Alison's Birthday is an Australian mash-up of concepts from other, better movies, but don't miss the charming forest for the trees.

The Modern Film: Book of Monsters (2018)

"Sophie's 18th birthday becomes a bloodbath when monsters descend upon her house and start to devour the party guests” (Epic Pictures). Book of Monsters is a Kickstarter flick full of nods to horror cliché, but—unlike Alison's Birthday—with none of the charm.

Audio Sources:

"Alison's Birthday" produced by The Australian Film Commission, et al.

"Birthday" written by Lennon–McCartney and performed by The Beatles

"Book of Monsters" produced by Dark Rift Films

"The Fifth Element" produced by Gaumont & Pinewood Studios

"Judge Reinhold/10,000 Maniacs" (Saturday Night Live S13E13) produced by Broadway Video & NBC Productions

"Mad Max" (1979) produced by Kennedy Miller Productions & Mad Max Films

"Math and King Solomon" (from The Top Part) written and performed by John Mulaney

"Rosemary's Baby" (1968) produced by William Castle Productions

"Skorpio" (Archer S01E06) produced by Radical Axis

"Stonehenge" written by Christopher Guest, et al., and performed by Spinal Tap

Get more at www.patreon.com/podsematary! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1564105932811825152

CW: Suicide, Sexual Harassment

It’s Splintered Reality Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey awaken their inner mall goths and get freaky with time and space.

The Classic Film: Donnie Darko (2001)

"After narrowly escaping a bizarre accident, a troubled teenager is plagued by visions of a man in a large rabbit suit who manipulates him to commit a series of crimes” (IMDb.com). Donnie Darko is one of Kelsey's all-time faves from her youth, but does it hold up? And should you watch the Theatrical or Director's Cut?

The Modern Film: Coherence (2013)

"Strange things begin to happen when a group of friends gather for a dinner party on an evening when a comet is passing overhead” (IMDb.com). Filmed in the director's house on a micro-budget of $50,000, Coherence shows you can still do big things if you have the right big idea.

Audio Sources:

"Birthday" written by Lennon–McCartney and performed by The Beatles

"Bitch" (Key and Peele S01E01) produced by Monkeypaw Productions, et al.

"Coherence" produced by Bellanova Films & Ugly Duckling Films

"Donnie Darko" produced by Flower Films, et al.

"Head over Heels" written by Roland Orzabal & Curt Smith and performed by Tears for Fears

"The Killing Moon" written by Will Sergeant, et al., and performed by Echo and the Bunnymen

"Love Will Tear Us Apart" written by Ian Curtis, et al., and performed by Joy Division

"Notorious" written by Simon Le Bon, et al., and performed by Duran Duran

"Serious Night Live - SNL" via Saturday Night Live @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ED1I3yIoz0

"When the Lights Go Out" written by Eliot Kennedy, et al., and performed by Five

"Wonderboy" written by Jack Black & Kyle Gass and performed by Tenacious D

"Zack Snyder's Justice League" produced by Warner Bros., et al.

Get more at www.patreon.com/podsematary! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1561549628025147393

CW: Suicide, Rape, Rape Culture

It’s Back-to-School Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey pledge school societies where they live by the melodrama and die by the melodrama.

The Classic Film: The Skulls (2000)

"For Luke McNamara, an invitation to join the prestigious secret college organization, The Skulls, is a dream come true, until murder befalls another student” (Mill Creek Entertainment). The Skulls is not a horror movie, sorry. Instead, it's Baby's First Thriller, like a novel adapted into a children's picture book. But if you stick it out, the extreme goofiness might be enough to have you thinking it's so bad that it's good.

The Modern Film: Initiation (2020)

"Whiton University unravels the night a star-athlete is murdered, kicking off a spree of social media slayings that force students to uncover the truth behind the school's hidden secrets and the horrifying meaning of an exclamation point” (IMDb.com). Initiation is a strikingly shot and acted drama going through a pretty paint-by-numbers horror plot that becomes a mishmash of incredible, mediocre, and even inept moments, making it difficult to recommend despite being... kinda good, I guess?

Audio Sources:

"12 Angry Men" (1997 TV Movie) produced by MGM Television

"Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" produced by De Laurentiis Entertainment Group, et al.

"Black Christmas" (1974) produced by Film Funding Ltd. of Canada, et al.

"The Faculty" (1998) produced by Dimension Films & Los Hooligans Productions

"The Fast and the Furious" (2001) produced by Universal Pictures, et al.

"Initiation" produced by Shatterproof Films

"The NeverEnding Story" produced by Constantin Film, et al.

"Not Another Teen Movie" produced by Columbia Pictures, et al.

"Showdown" written by Jeff Lynne and performed by the Electric Light Orchestra

"The Skulls" (2000) produced by Universal Pictures, et al.