Pod Sematary

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1508220345366372352

CW: Sexual Assault

It’s April Fools' Day on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey commit a prank that—believe it or not—goes wrong!

The Classic Film: The Burning (1981)

"A former summer camp caretaker, horribly burned from a prank gone wrong, lurks around an upstate New York summer camp bent on killing the teenagers responsible for his disfigurement” (IMDb.com). If you're expecting us to have a lot of good things to say about The Burning... don't. For the sin of kickstarting Harvey Weinstein's career, it could've at least had the common decency to be interesting.

The Modern Film: Joy Ride (2001)

"Three young people on a road trip from Colorado to New Jersey talk to a trucker on their CB radio, then must escape when he turns out to be a psychopathic killer” (IMDb.com). 2001 was a hell of a time—movies like Joy Ride seemed a lot more compelling then. It's not bad by any means, but we both remember liking it more "back in the day."

Audio Sources:

"April Fools" (2007) produced by Links Entertainment & Pa Pa Productions

"The Burning" (1981) produced by Cropsy Venture & Miramax

"Club Dread" produced by Broken Lizard Industries, et al.

"The Fast and the Furious" produced by Universal Pictures, et al.

"Joy Ride" (2001) produced by New Regency Productions, et al.

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1505308331241582596

CW: Sexual Assault, Animal Cruelty

It’s Purge Night on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey are executing righteous justice that vindicates their bloodlust. Have a safe night!

The Classic Film: The New Kids (1985)

"A brother and sister arrive in a small town to help their relatives run an amusement park, and they find the town is terrorized by a local street gang” (IMDb.com). Lots of people would love to be the coolest, strongest, most righteous guy in their school. Loren McWilliams is that guy, and the punks at his new school have just given him an excuse to kick butt. The New Kids may be a little silly, but it can also be extremely intense, mainly due to some terrible assault and the fine acting of a young James Spader.

The Modern Film: The Purge (2013)

"A wealthy family is held hostage for harboring the target of a murderous syndicate during the Purge, a 12-hour period in which any and all crime is legal” (IMDb.com). The Purge is a simple premise that many dismiss as puerile, but its politics are worth dissecting to get beneath the heavy-handed surface.

Audio Sources:

"Batman" (1989) produced by Warner Bros., et al.

"Blade Runner" produced by Ridley Scott Productions, et al.

"Jurassic Park" produced by Universal Pictures & Amblin Entertainment

"Leprechaun 4: In Space" produced by Blue Rider Pictures

"Monster in the Closet" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine S04E06) produced by Fremulon, et al.

"The New Kids" produced by Columbia Pictures & Fogbound Inc.

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"The Purge" (2013) produced by Blumhouse Productions, et al.

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1503916860626006016

CW: Sexual Assault, Transmisogyny, Suicide

It’s St. Patrick's Day on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey are in space now for some reason, investigating the source of the Dracula mythos.

The Classic Film: Leprechaun 4: In Space (1996)

"Our deadly leprechaun is in space to woo a beautiful princess who is impressed with his gold and desires to separate him from it” (IMDb.com). It's not like the franchise could ever really be accused of "trying," but this movie would be bad even by porn standards if there were any actual sex in it.

The Modern Film: Boys from County Hell (2020)

"A crew of hardy road workers, led by a bickering Father and Son, must survive the night when they accidentally awaken an ancient Irish vampire” (IMDb.com). In the vein of other Irish horror-comedies like pod-favorite Grabbers, Boys from County Hell is a clever take on classic tropes that's worth your time.

Audio Sources:

"Boys from County Hell" produced by Six Mile Hill Productions

"The Crucible" (1996) produced by Twentieth Century Fox

"Die Hard" produced by Twentieth Century Fox, et al.

"Home Improvement" produced by Wind Dancer Productions

"Leprechaun 4: In Space" produced by Blue Rider Pictures

"Meet the Cast | Willow | Disney+" via Lucasfilm @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPqk9k91TEk

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"Robot Chicken: Star Wars III" produced by Stoopid Monkey, et al.

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1500935014724292619

CW: Suicide, Sexual Assault, Rape

It’s Meat Cute Week on Pod Sematary! Chris and Kelsey (and Amanda!) find true love in post-apocalyptic, old-timey, future France and do a little choreographed dance for the camera.

The Classic Film: Delicatessen (1991)

"Post-apocalyptic surrealist black comedy about the landlord of an apartment building who occasionally prepares a delicacy for his odd tenants” (IMDb.com). Yes, we know eating meat is terrible, but even this charming, funny, hopeful, and morbid fantasy isn't going to stop us. (Sorry!)

The Modern Film: Fresh (2022)

"The horrors of modern dating seen through one young woman's defiant battle to survive her new boyfriend's unusual appetites” (IMDb.com). Fresh is a delightful and horrible story that threatens to charm its audience in much the same way its villain does its protagonist. When Kelsey and Amanda saw it in previews, they knew Chris would love it, too. They were right.

Audio Sources:

"Delicatessen" produced by Constellation, et al.

"Delicatessen trailer" via Casey Dake @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7Mrs-dRk6w

"Fresh" produced by Fox Searchlight Pictures, et al.

"Get Out" produced by Monkeypaw Productions, et al.

"God of Thunder" (from Whiskey Icarus) written and performed by Kyle Kinane

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"Sweet Talkin' Guy" written by Robert Schwartz, et al., and performed by The Chiffons

"Thank You for Being a Friend" written by Andrew Gold and performed by Cynthia Fee

"You're Not Good Enough" written by Devonté Hynes and performed by Blood Orange

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1497748354796687369

CW: Drug Use, Sexual Assault

It’s Nosferatu Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey celebrate 100 years since the premiere of Nosferatu by traveling far away to the land of robbers and ghosts.

The Classic Film: Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror (1922)

"Vampire Count Orlok expresses interest in a new residence and real estate agent Hutter's wife” (IMDb.com). Nosferatu, which premiered in Germany on March 4th, 1922, is a classic of horror, silent film, and cinema itself and for good reason. A sort of bastardized version of Bram Stoker's Dracula story, Nosferatu manages to thrill and frighten without speaking a word.

The Modern Film: Shadow of the Vampire (2000)

"The filming of Nosferatu is hampered by the fact that its star, Max Schreck, is taking the role of a vampire far more seriously than seems humanly possible” (IMDb.com). Shadow of the Vampire asks the question, "What if Max Schreck was really a vampire and F.W. Murnau knew it?" A very bizarre, but simultaneously silly and frightening film, and featuring brilliant performance all around, Shadow of the Vampire manages to be a worthwhile watch.

Audio Sources:

"Dracula: Dead and Loving It" produced by Brooksfilms, et al.

"Nosferatu" (1922) produced by Jofa-Atelier Berlin-Johannisthal and Prana-Film GmbH

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"Shadow of the Vampire" produced by BBC Films, et al.

"Silent Sunday Nights on TCM" hosted by Ben Mankiewicz

"Threw It on the Ground" written by Drew Campbell & The Lonely Island and performed by The Lonely Island

"Which Dracula Film is Most Faithful to the Book?" via Cinemassacre @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9D74m628gQ

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1495864290250661888

CW: Suicide, Molestation

It’s Presidents' Day on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey can see the future and the future is fighting a mummy with JFK!

The Classic Film: The Dead Zone (1983)

"A man awakens from a coma to discover he has a psychic ability” (IMDb.com). Cronenberg, King, and Walken sound like a can't-miss combination, and—for the most part—it is. Strangely, especially considering the names, it isn't very horrific, though.

The Modern Film: Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)

"Elvis Presley and a black JFK stay in a nursing home where nothing happens—until a wayward Egyptian mummy comes and sucks out the old people's souls thru their a-holes. The two decide to fight back” (IMDb.com). Bubba Ho-Tep was a pretty big deal in certain circles when it came out. Of course, it was. I mean, the cast and concept alone are killer. Right?

Audio Sources:

"Bubba Ho-Tep" produced by Silver Sphere Corporation

"The Dead Zone" produced by Dino De Laurentiis Company & Lorimar Film Entertainment

"Fight Club" produced by Fox 2000 Pictures, et al.

"Maximum Overdrive" produced by De Laurentiis Entertainment Group

"My Name is Bruce" produced by Dark Horse Entertainment & Image Entertainment

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"Pet Sematary" (2019) produced by Paramount Pictures, et al.

"The Raven" (from Hal Willner's "Closed On Account Of Rabies") written by Edgar Allan Poe and performed by Christopher Walken

"Team America: World Police" produced by Paramount Pictures, et al.

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1493129598921428993

CW: Emotionally and physically abusive relationships, Manipulation, Gaslighting, Suicide, Rape

It’s Valentine's Day and that means it's Toxic Relationships Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey play couples-therapists to murderous dolls and a love triangle! Plus, Kelsey is very pleased with herself for coming up with so many relevant break-up songs!

The Classic Film: Bride of Chucky (1998)

"Chucky, the doll possessed by a serial killer, discovers the perfect mate to kill and revive into the body of another doll” (IMDb.com). Believe it or not: we really enjoyed the Tiffany/Chucky dynamic and the silly/serious juxtaposition, but you can see where the franchise is headed and, based on the last scene, we're not looking forward to it.

The Modern Film: My Valentine (2020)

"A pop singer's songs and artistic identity have been stolen by her ex-boyfriend/manager and shamelessly pasted onto his new girlfriend/protégé. Locked together in a small concert venue after hours, the three of them confront the emotional abuses of the past...until things turn violent” (IMDb.com). The filmmakers responsible for My Valentine may not have made the most original product themselves (especially when you know the real story), but at least the fun they were having bleeds out of the screen (and the speakers).

Audio Sources:

"Black Sheep" written by Emily Haines & James Shaw and performed by Metric

"Chicago" (2002) produced by Miramax, et al.

"Clue" produced by Paramount Pictures, et al.

"deja vu" written by Olivia Rodrigo, et al., and performed by Olivia Rodrigo

"Heartbeats" written by Karin Dreijer & Olof Dreijer and performed by The Knife

"I Want You Back" written by The Corporation and performed by The Jackson 5

"I Will Survive" written by Freddie Perren & Dino Fekaris and performed by Gloria Gaynor

"Irreplaceable" written by Beyoncé Knowles, et al., and performed by Beyoncé

"The Lion King" (1994) produced by Walt Disney Pictures & Walt Disney Animation Studios

"My Name is Bruce" produced by Dark Horse Entertainment & Image Entertainment

"My Valentine" (Into the Dark S02E05) produced by Blumhouse Television & Hulu

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"The Scientist" written by Chris Martin, et al., and performed by Coldplay

"Sweatpants" written by Donald Glover, et al., and performed by Childish Gambino ft. Problem

"Thank You for Smoking" produced by Room 9 Entertainment

"We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together (Taylor's Version)" written by Taylor Swift, et al., and performed by Taylor Swift

"With or Without You" written and performed by U2

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1490810936692666371

It’s Vampire Week on Pod Sematary! Chris, Kelsey, and special guest Bob fill some squirt guns with holy water and take in a Tim Cappello concert on the beach.

The Classic Film: The Lost Boys (1987)

"After moving to a new town, two brothers discover that the area is a haven for vampires” (IMDb.com). We absolutely adore this movie and for good reason. It just so perfectly exemplifies a specific style from a specific time that makes Kelsey say, "They were right in the 80s."

The Modern Film: Bloodsucking Bastards (2015)

"A down-on-his-luck cubicle worker and his slacker best friend discover their new boss is a vampire who is turning their coworkers into the undead.” (IMDb.com). Bloodsucking Bastards is a terrific comedy trapped in the shell of a fairly okay movie. It's certainly not what you might call a great movie, but the moments where it approaches perfection make it worth your time.

Audio Sources:

"Are Traps Gay?" via ContraPoints @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbBzhqJK3bg

"Bloodsucking Bastards" produced by Fortress Features & MTY Productions

"Gingerdead Man vs Evil Bong" produced by Full Moon Features

"The Lost Boys" produced by Warner Bros.

"No Pain, No Gain" (Go-Big Show S02E04) produced by Propagate Content & Matador Content

"The Overmining" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine S04E09) produced by Fremulon, et al.

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"Reservoir Dogs" produced by Live Entertainment & Dog Eat Dog Productions Inc.

"Surf Nazis Must Die" produced by Troma Entertainment

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1487529498874724359

CW: Sexual Assault, Addiction

It’s Ghostbusters Week again on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey wrap up the franchise (for now) and get into serious conversations about the function of the proton pack.

The Classic Film: Ghostbusters II (1989)

"The discovery of a massive river of ectoplasm and a resurgence of spectral activity allows the staff of Ghostbusters to revive the business” (IMDb.com). Ghostbusters II is often maligned for being too kid-friendly and lacking the edge of the original, but it stacks up surprisingly well even if it isn't quite as good. If you think the Ghostbusters franchise isn't for kids, you're fooling yourself.

The Modern Film: Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

"When a single mom and her two kids arrive in a small town, they begin to discover their connection to the original Ghostbusters and the secret legacy their grandfather left behind” (IMDb.com). Afterlife is actually a pretty good movie (if a little too long) and honors the franchise and Harold Ramis well. So what do you do when it's not a very good Ghostbusters movie?

Audio Sources:

"Ghostbusters" (1984) produced by Columbia Pictures, et al.

"Ghostbusters" (1986 TV Series) produced by Filmation Associates & Tribune Broadcasting Company

"Ghostbusters" (2016) produced by Columbia Pictures, et al.

"Ghostbusters II" produced by Columbia Pictures

"Ghostbusters: Afterlife" produced by Columbia Pictures, et al.

"Here We Go (Let's Rock & Roll)" written by Robert Clivillés & Freedom Williams and performed by C+C Music Factory

"Higher and Higher" written by Gary Jackson, et al., and performed by Jackie Wilson

"Higher and Higher" written by Gary Jackson, et al., and performed by Howard Huntsberry

"Magic" written and performed by Mick Smiley

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"Social Psychology" (Community S01E04) produced by Harmonius Claptrap, et al.

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1485773811412705283

CW: Suicide

It’s a Creature Feature Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey finally find out why he's called Pumpkinhead when his head isn't shaped like a pumpkin!

The Classic Film: Pumpkinhead (1988)

"After a tragic accident, a man conjures up a towering, vengeful demon called Pumpkinhead to destroy a group of unsuspecting teenagers” (IMDb.com). Famed creature creator Stan Winston's directorial debut is the sort of film that most people outside the general horror fandom probably haven't even heard of, but it garners certain respect among the faithful and for good reason. We wouldn't say it's "stellar" but it's certainly charming and very enjoyable. Oh, and Pumpkinhead be throwin' folks.

The Modern Film: A Quiet Place (2018)

"In a post-apocalyptic world, a family is forced to live in silence while hiding from monsters with ultra-sensitive hearing” (IMDb.com). A Quiet Place may be a motherlode for pedants, but to fall down that hole would be to miss the incredible performances and atmosphere that make the movie pretty dang good. Plus, it makes Chris cry.

Audio Sources:

"The Exorcist in 30 Seconds (and Re-enacted by Bunnies)" produced by Angry Alien Productions, LLC

"Gin and Juice" written by Calvin Broadus and performed by Snoop Dogg

"London Calling" written by Joe Strummer & Mick Jones and performed by The Clash

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"Pumpkinhead" produced by De Laurentiis Entertainment Group & Lion Films

"A Quiet Place" produced by Paramount Pictures, et al.

"Redneck Rampage" (PC) developed by Xatrix and produced by Interplay Entertainment

"Rock-A-Doodle" produced by Goldcrest Films International & Sullivan Bluth Studios

"Thank You for Smoking" produced by Room 9 Entertainment

"Too Little Too Late" written by Billy Steinberg, et al., and performed by JoJo