Pod Sematary

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1401772796401774594

CW: Suicide, Sexual Assault, Domestic Abuse

It’s Motel Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey smoke some long pig and and get rained in at motel with a bunch of weirdos.

The Classic Film: Motel Hell (1980)

"A seemingly friendly farmer and his sister kidnap unsuspecting travelers and bury them alive, using them to create the "special meat" they are famous for” (IMDb.com). Motel Hell is certainly weird, comedic horror, but perhaps it's not weird or comedic enough.

The Modern Film: Identity (2003)

"Stranded at a desolate Nevada motel during a nasty rainstorm, ten strangers become acquainted with each other when they realize that they're being killed off one by one” (IMDb.com). Whether or not you enjoy Identity will be a 50/50 crapshoot, just like the ratio of hosts that have no patience for its bullshit.

Audio Sources:

"Anything Could Happen" written by Ellie Goulding & Jim Eliot and performed by Ellie Goulding

"I Know What You Did Last Summer" produced by Mandalay Entertainment, et al.

"Identity" (2003) produced by Columbia Pictures & Konrad Pictures

"Motel Hell" produced by Camp Hill

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1399150883645108228

CW: Stillbirth, Rape, Homophobia

It’s Graduation Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey unwillingly participate in a prank gone wrong and now they have to throw a party while being stalked by a killer with a poorly-obfuscated identity!

The Classic Film: The House on Sorority Row (1982)

"After a seemingly innocent prank goes horribly wrong, a group of sorority sisters are stalked and murdered one by one in their sorority house while throwing a party to celebrate their graduation” (IMDb.com). The House on Sorority Row is not thrilling, it's not scary, and it isn't even that interesting aside from a few moments in the final act. It isn't bad, but it's certainly not good either.

The Modern Film: Sorority Row (2009)

"A group of sorority sisters try to cover up the death of their house-sister after a prank gone wrong, only to be stalked by a serial killer” (IMDb.com). One mo' 'gain! Second verse is different from the first (but not by much)!

Audio Sources:

"Carrie" (1976) produced by Red Bank Films

"The House on Sorority Row" (1982) produced by VAE Productions

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"Science Fiction/Double Feature" written by Richard O'Brien & Richard Hartley and performed by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

"Sorority Row" (2009) produced by Summit Entertainment, et al.

"When Harry Met Sally..." produced by Castle Rock Entertainment & Nelson Entertainment

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1396298626561822721

CW: Sexual Assault, Rape, Harm to Animals, Suicide, Self Harm

It’s Australia Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey drive on the wrong side of the road and piss off an entire outback hunting village.

The Classic Film: Razorback (1984)

"As a vicious wild boar terrorizes the Australian outback, the husband of one of the victims is joined by a hunter and a farmer in a search for the beast” (IMDb.com). A (perhaps unsurprisingly) beautiful and striking horror film in the vein of Tremors or Jaws, Razorback most disappoints when you aren't getting *enough* of the good stuff.

The Modern Film: The Loved Ones (2009)

"When Brent turns down his classmate Lola's invitation to the prom, she concocts a wildly violent plan for revenge” (IMDb.com). The Loved Ones is unmistakably torture-porn-esque, but it manages to charm even these two haters of the genre with its compelling characters and teen drama tropes.

Audio Sources:

"Bruce's Sketch" written and performed by Monty Python

"Lola" written by Ray Davies and performed by The Kinks

"Lonesome Loser" written by David Briggs and performed by Little River Band

"The Loved Ones" produced by Screen Australia, et al.

"Monster in the Closet" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine S04E06) produced by Fremulon, et al.

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"The Pink Purse" produced by Fenslerfilm

"Razorback" produced by UAA Films, et al.

"Science Fiction/Double Feature" written by Richard O'Brien & Richard Hartley and performed by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

"Whatever Lola Wants" written by Richard Adler & Jerry Ross and performed by Sarah Vaughan

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1393654138374868992

CW: Suicide, Infanticide

It’s Subterranean Monster Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey make a goddamn plan to sell food by the river.

The Classic Film: Tremors (1990)

"Natives of a small isolated town defend themselves against strange underground creatures which are killing them one by one” (IMDb.com). Tremors is a television classic from our youth and we can't believe it's taken us this long to get to it. This valley is just one long smorgasbord!

The Modern Film: The Host (2006)

"A monster emerges from Seoul's Han River and begins attacking people. One victim's loving family does what it can to rescue her from its clutches” (IMDb.com). From the oscar-winning writer/director of Parasite, Bong Joon Ho's The Host was at one point the biggest movie to come out of South Korea, and you should definitely find out what the hype's all about.

Audio Sources:

"The Beginning: Making Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace" produced by Lucasfilm Ltd. 

"The Host" (2006) produced by Chungeorahm Film, et al.

"Logitech | Google TV and Kevin Bacon Commercial" via Eclectic Culture @ https://youtu.be/BP5QZNhGsF4

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"SBIFF 2020 - Bong Joon Ho Discusses 'The Host'" via officialSBIFF @ https://youtu.be/u3Zna-uEaiA

"Tango: Maureen" (from Rent -- Original Broadway Cast Recording) written by Jonathan Larson and performed by Anthony Rapp & Tracie Thoms

"Tremors" (1990) produced by Universal Pictures, et al.

"Why Not Tonight" written by Nancy Montgomery, et al., and performed by Reba McEntire

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1389005125612564481

CW: Suicide, Pregnancy, Stillbirth

It’s Mother's Day on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey are trying to move on from their disturbing past but just can't get away from mother dearest.

The Classic Film: Psycho II (1983)

"After twenty-two years of psychiatric care, Norman Bates attempts to return to a life of solitude, but the specters of his crimes - and his mother - continue to haunt him” (IMDb.com). Psycho II proves that nostalgia-bait sequels released decades after the original are nothing new. What's remarkable is that it's actually a pretty great follow-up to the Hitchcock classic with a core that complements and a twisting plot that thrills.

The Modern Film: Grace (2009)

"Madeline Matheson is eight months pregnant and determined to deliver her unborn child, Grace, naturally. When an accident leaves Grace dead inside her, Madeline insists on carrying the baby's corpse to term. Weeks later, when Madeline delivers, the baby miraculously returns to life... with an appetite” (IMDb.com). Grace is an uneven tale that isn't exactly bad but isn't exactly novel either.

Audio Sources:

"All That She Wants" written by Jonas Berggren & Ulf Ekberg and performed by Ace of Base

"Death Proof" produced by Troublemaker Studios, et al.

"Grace" produced by ArieScope Pictures, et al.

"Liar Liar" produced by Universal Pictures & Imagine Entertainment

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"Psycho" produced by Shamley Productions

"Psycho II" produced by Universal Pictures, et al.

"Psycho II: Still Crazy After All These Years" produced by Universal Studios Home Video

"S&M Present" (Robot Chicken S01E09) produced by Stoopid Monkey, et al.

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1386440945030373381

CW: Death of a child

It’s a Dream Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey get a cool gearing-up montage and cool new dream powers!

The Classic Film: A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

"Freddy Krueger returns once again to terrorize the dreams of the remaining Dream Warriors, as well as those of a young woman who may be able to defeat him for good” (IMDb.com). The Nightmare franchise starts to take a turn for the worse in this installment, but it's still not bad yet... surprisingly.

The Modern Film: Before I Wake (2016)

"A couple adopt an orphaned child whose dreams - and nightmares - manifest physically as he sleeps” (IMDb.com). Since this is a Mike Flanagan joint, you know that there is at least a minimum threshold of quality here, but the squandered potential, muddled metaphors, and theme that's about as subtle as a slap in the face make this easily the worst of his outings we've seen so far.

Audio Sources:

"Are You Ready for Freddy?" written by Patrick Klein, et al., & performed by The Fat Boys

"Before I Wake (2016)" produced by Intrepid Pictures, et al.

"Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" produced by De Laurentiis Entertainment Group, et al.

"I Want Your (Hands On Me)" written by Sinéad O'Connor, et al., & performed by Sinéad O'Connor

"Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy" produced by 1428 Films & Panic Productions

"A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master" produced by New Line Cinema, et al.

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1383935718695718913

CW: Animal Harm

It’s "Elijah Wood Goes to School" Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey grow from anti-establishment to pro-teacher between two movies. It's age, man. That stuff just happens over time.

The Classic Film: The Faculty (1998)

"When Casey Connor, Herrington High School's newspaper photographer, witnesses the murder of a nurse and sees her alive again, [he] decides to investigate the bizarre happenings” (IMDb.com). Kelsey can basically recite this movie from memory, but is it just nostalgia, or does this late-90s, teen horror actually hold up?

The Modern Film: Cooties (2014)

"A mysterious virus hits an isolated elementary school, transforming the kids into a feral swarm of mass savages. An unlikely hero must lead a motley band of teachers in the fight of their lives” (IMDb.com). Cooties has all the hallmarks of a silly horror comedy and it seems content to leave it at that. Not bad but... not good, either?

Audio Sources:

"Cooties" produced by SpectreVision & Glacier Films

"The Faculty" produced by Dimension Films  Los Hooligans Productions

"The Kids Aren't Alright" written by Dexter Holland and performed by The Offspring

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1381353524374560770

CW: Racism

It’s a King Kong Double Feature on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey watch the first and most recent initial installments in Kong franchises and there are still two more left!

The Classic Film: King Kong (1933)

"A film crew goes to a tropical island for an exotic location shoot and discovers a colossal ape who takes a shine to their female blonde star. He is then captured and brought back to New York City for public exhibition” (IMDb.com). There are plenty of things about this movie that aged poorly (including some really cringe-inducing racial insensitivity) but, surprisingly, the effects and pathos aren't among them. King Kong (1933) is the O.G. and this king still rules.

The Modern Film: Kong: Skull Island (2017)

"After the Vietnam war, a team of scientists explores an uncharted island in the Pacific, venturing into the domain of the mighty Kong, and must fight to escape a primal Eden” (IMDb.com). This newest attempt at rebooting the Kong franchise does even get to leave the island, but we're okay with it. It's a little cheesy, there's no character development, and it's chockablock full of cliché, but it's also gorgeous, cool, and home to the best-looking Kong ever.

Audio Sources:

"The Impression That I Get" written by Dicky Barrett & Joe Gittleman and performed by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones

"King Kong" (1933) produced by RKO Radio Pictures

"Kong: Skull Island" produced by Warner Bros., et al.

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"Ransom" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine S07E12) produced by Fremulon, et al.

"Science Fiction/Double Feature" written by Richard O'Brien & Richard Hartley and performed by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

"Through the Decades" produced by Decades

"I'm on a Boat" written by Andy Samberg, et al. and performed by The Lonely Island

"Up" produced by Pixar Animation Studios & Walt Disney Pictures

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1378848632703713280

CW: Suicide, Still Birth, Mental Illness, Ableism

It’s an Exorcist Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey wrap up the franchise with a pleasantly bizarre surprise and... what's the opposite of a surprise?

The Classic Film: The Exorcist III (1990)

"A police Lieutenant uncovers more than he bargained for as his investigation of a series of murders, which have all the hallmarks of the deceased Gemini serial killer, leads him to question the patients of a psychiatric ward” (IMDb.com). The Exorcist III's poetic strangeness makes it feel like the precursor to some of the best prestige television of the past ten years. It's not perfect nor as good as the original, but after Exorcist II: The Heretic, it seems damned close.

The Modern Film: Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist (2005)

"Years before Father Lankester Merrin helped save Regan MacNeil's soul, he first encounters the demon Pazuzu in East Africa. Merrin's initial battle with Pazuzu leads to the rediscovery of his faith” (IMDb.com). Dominion is better than Renny Harlin's reshot "The Beginning," but if we're honest, not by that much (and that's due in large part to the lack of support from producers Morgan Creek). It's just too bad that we didn't see it first.

Audio Sources:

"Adventures in Babysitting" produced by Touchstone Pictures & Silver Screen Partners III

"Clueless" produced by Paramount Pictures

"Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist" produced by Morgan Creek Entertainment

"Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb" produced by Columbia Pictures & Hawk Films

"The Exorcist" produced by Warner Bros. & Hoya Productions

"The Exorcist III" produced by Morgan Creek Entertainment

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1376693080741580800

CW: Suicide, Rape, Animal Harm, Ableism

It’s Easter Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey watch two horror movies set during Easter to get into the holiday spirit and they're both... pretty bad.

The Classic Film: Bless the Child (2000)

"Cody, a little girl abandoned by her mother and raised by her aunt, a nurse, is kidnapped. The girl's guardian, aided by an F.B.I. agent, learns that Cody has supernatural abilities, and the abductees are a Satanic cult willing to do anything to gain them” (IMDb.com). Bless the Child WISHES it could be End of Days, and that's saying something.

The Modern Film: Rottentail (2018)

"Peter Cotton, a scientist that works on rabbits and infertility, learns that the military wishes to use his work to create superhuman soldiers. Cotton is bitten by an experimental mutant rabbit and changes into the evil Rottentail” (IMDb.com). Rottentail is dumb and gross and the filmmakers know that, but that's not why it's bad. It can be fun in the way that Troma movies are fun, but it just isn't as good as some of the heavy hitters in that style.

Audio Sources:

"Are You Insane Like Me" written by Needlz, Davey Suicide, Monoxide, & Jamie Madrox and performed by Twiztid

"Bless the Child" produced by Paramount Pictures, et al.

"Eraser" produced by Kopelson Entertainment & Warner Bros.

"God Bless the Child" written by Billie Holiday & Arthur Herzog Jr. and performed by Billie Holiday

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"Rottentail" produced by Blue Orchid Entertainment, et al.