Podcast | JOHNNY HAS THE KEYS

Desperate for cash to afford a new apartment, college student Samantha Hughes (Jocelin Donahue) takes a mysterious babysitting job. At the home, Mr. Ulman (Tom Noonan) explains that Samantha will not be watching a child, but his elderly mother-in-law instead. After exploring the creepy house, Samantha soon realizes that the Ulmans are hiding a horrifying secret and plan to sacrifice her during a lunar eclipse. 

Welcome to Satanic Panic! Ti West’s fabulous homage to films of the 1980s is not perfect, but neither were the films he’s paying homage to. Join us as we bask in the nostalgia and fun that this film brings, from its attention to detail and fabulous cast, to the skilled, intentionally antiquated cinematography, editing, and music. Listen as Johnny Has the Keys explores a creepy house where a family awaits the perfect host to usher evil in by the pale moonlight. 

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In the year 40,000, peace and love have reigned for centuries, but the president of Earth has a problem. He needs Barbarella, a five-star, double-rated astronavigatrix who can save the universe. Her mission is to find the renegade scientist, Durand Durand, and discover where he’s hiding his monstrous positronic ray.

Welcome to the groovy 1960s, where spaceships have shag carpet and astronauts are curvaceous sex kittens who, with relative ease–and quite a few rolls in the hay–save the universe from wrongdoers. Join us as we discuss this Vadim-Fonda classic, and its place song the cheesier canon of sci-fi classics. Listen, as Johnny Has the Keys turns the lights down and the music up, pouring a snifter of Remy Martin and getting our groove on with the sexiest astronaut ever!

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Dr. Ellie Arroway (Jodie Foster) races to interpret a possible audible message originating from the Vega star system. Once first contact with extraterrestrial intelligence is proven, Arroway contends with various stumbling blocks including a restrictive National Security Advisor Kitz (James Woods) and religious fanatics bent on containing the implications of such an event. An incredible message is found hidden in the signal, but will Arroway be the one to answer its call?

What’s that sound? Could it be the cantankerous murmurings of your favorite podcast hosts discussing this ambitious yet flawed blockbuster? With such a great cast, source material from Carl Sagan, and an A-list director like Robert Zemeckis, how could they go wrong? Join us, and we will let you know. Listen, as Johnny Has the Keys builds a wormhole device and travels to a distant galaxy to discover our place among the stars.

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Dracula (1979): Transylvanian Count Dracula (Frank Langella) washes ashore in England after a shipwreck. Discovered by Mina Van Helsing (Jan Francis), Dracula integrates himself into the lives of Mina and her friend, Lucy Seward (Kate Nelligan). However, when Mina dies and her father, Prof. Van Helsing (Laurence Olivier), attributes her death to a vampire, evidence shows that Count Dracula is the monster, and Lucy is his next target.

Bram’s Stoker’s Dracula (1992): Count Dracula, a 15th-century prince, cursed to feed on the blood of the living, imprisons his lawyer, Jonathan Harker (Keanu Reeves), after seeing a photograph of his fiancée, Mina (Winona Ryder). Dracula goes to London in search of Mina, who is the spitting image of his dead wife. Harker’s friend, Van Helsing, suspects Dracula’s intentions, but can he and Lucy’s suitors thwart the monster when Mina has fallen in love with him?

Double dose part two! Yes, we’re still in Transylvania for the second of our two-part, themed double-feature! This time, we’re covering two more nods to Stoker’s classic tale, including the 1979 Frank Langella version, and the all-star production from Francis Ford Coppola in 1992. Join us as we discuss the former’s relation to the play (like Lugosi, Langella originated the role on Broadway), and the lavish production values of Coppola’s take in 1992, arguably the most faithful adaption to the original text so far. Listen, as Johnny Has the Keys travels from the Carpathian mountains to London with a crucifix in hand, listening close at every step for the whispers of the undead.

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Dracula (1931): Mysterious Count Dracula (Bela Lugosi), a vampire, travels to London and takes up residence. Soon, he sets his sights on Mina (Helen Chandler), the daughter of a prominent doctor and vampire-hunter, Van Helsing (Edward Van Sloan), who seeks to put a stop to the count’s never-ending bloodlust.

Horror of Dracula (1958): After Jonathan Harker attacks Dracula at his castle, the vampire travels to a nearby city, where he preys on the family of Harker’s fiancée. The only one who can protect them is Dr. Van Helsing, Harker’s friend and colleague, who is determined to destroy Dracula, whatever the cost.

It’s time for a double-dose! Dracula (1931) and Horror of Dracula (1958) are two of the earlier and more noteworthy entries in the plethora of Dracula films out there. Both are iconic and feature stars that played the distinguished count multiple times. Join us as we discuss the merit of these films and the actors that were both typecast in the infamous role. Listen, as Johnny Has the Keys wanders dark castle hallways and creepy crypts in search of nosferatu, and their legendary leader.

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When Lucy (Scarlett Johansson) is forced into delivering a briefcase, the once-carefree student is abducted by thugs who turn her into a drug mule. She is surgically implanted with a package containing a powerful chemical that leaks into her system, giving her superhuman abilities, including telekinesis and telepathy. With captors in pursuit, and her mind developing at a rapid rate, Lucy seeks a celebrated neurologist (Morgan Freeman), who she hopes can help her.

We’re back in France with Luc Besson at the helm and, though our first venture (The Fifth Element, 1997) was more comedic, this one is an action-packed cerebral thrill-ride. Join us as we discuss the pros (casting, visuals) and cons (science, logic, and its lack thereof) that make this such a memorable film. Listen, as Johnny has the Keys is captured by Korean mafioso, forced to be a drug mule, and, via accident, gains access to the full potential of the human mind.

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It’s 1944 and the Allies have invaded Nazi-held Europe. In Spain, soldiers are stationed in a remote forest to flush out the rebels. Capitan Vidal (Sergi Lopez), a murdering sadist, is in charge, and with him are his new wife Carmen (Ariadna Gil) and her daughter from a previous marriage, 11-year-old Ofelia (Ivana Baquero). Ofelia witnesses her stepfather’s sadistic brutality and escapes into Pan’s Labyrinth, a magical world of mythical beings.

Finally, we’re in the dark and majestic land of Guillermo del Toro. Pan’s Labyrinth (2006), though a predecessor to his Oscar-winning The Shape of Water (2017), does not look almost two decades old. This film resonates on all levels and is as gorgeous as if filmed just yesterday. Join us as we discuss the wonderfully talented del Toro, the captivating cast, and that our memories are so strong with its visuals that we completely forgot it was a foreign film. Listen, as Johnny has the Keys ventures into WWII Spain, where an unhappy girl escapes to a magical land where hope awaits… if you don’t get caught by a child-eating monster.

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Prehistoric skeletons are discovered during an expansion of the London Underground. Paleontologist Matthew Roney (James Donald), believes them to be remnants of ancient man, but the strange metal object found with them is a mystery. Professor Bernard Quatermass (Andrew Keir) thinks it is evidence that the creatures came from space. More digging reveals the corpses of actual Martians and a strange energy field that sends London into a panic.

As much fun as Universal films in America, Hammer films of England often bear wonderful chestnuts and refreshing dips into the pool of nostalgia. And though Hammer is mostly known for its forages into Universal monster territory, Quatermass and the Pit (1967) is one of their rare science fiction films. Join us as we discuss the talented team of writer Nigel Kneale, and director Roy Ward Baker and their spin on a deeply intellectual H. G. Wells-type story. Listen as Johnny has the Keys go down into the London underground where historical evidence of Earth, and perhaps Mars, lies not so still.

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A journalist, Grace Collier (Jennifer Salt), witnesses her neighbor, Danielle Breton (Margot Kidder), violently murder a man from her window across the street. But when the police arrive at the scene and find nothing amiss, Grace takes matters into her own hands. She recruits a private investigator, Joseph Larch (Charles Durning), who helps her uncover a secret about Danielle’s past that has them both seeing double.

In our second Brian De Palma feature this season, we travel four years before Carrie (1976) to the year 1972 and the director’s first foray into the land of suspense. Join us as we talk more about De Palma’s Hitchcockian style, the tragic star Margot Kidder, bad blood, and the gnarly, unforgettable stabbing scene! Listen, as Johnny has the Keys journeys to Staten Island, where a brutal crime leads to dark secrets about a woman and her disturbed sister.

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While researching a new drug, Dr. Jack Griffin (Claude Rains) stumbles on a potion that can make him invisible. When he reveals his new ability to his old mentor (Henry Travers) and his fiancée (Gloria Stuart), it’s clear that a side effect of the potion is insanity. Jack goes on a violent rampage, and the police struggle to hunt him down, unable to see their target, while his mentor and his former partner (William Harrigan) desperately try to devise a plan to capture him.

Ah, Universal monster movies. For nostalgia’s sake, you can’t beat them… especially in the horror-hardened heart of your co-host, Tim. James Whale is a seasoned director and, though The Invisible Man (1933) is not a perfect film, it earns its place in the canon of Universal classics. Join us as we discuss the men behind it, including H. G. Wells, James Whale, Claude Rains–and the mindboggling state-of-the-art special effects of the day. Listen as Johnny has the Keys travels to a tiny English village where strides in modern science lead to inexplicable phenomena and mass murder.

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