Pondoff's Anonymous

Episode 28, y’all!

Thanks for allowing us a break for the 4th!

Personally, I needed one. And nobody blew off any fingers in the Pondoff household. So, I’d say the holiday was a success.

Guess what. Had a Covid scare! All good though.

That test was like a prostate exam through my nose! Aye yai yai!

Speaking of prostate exams...

The last time I had my prostate checked, the doc had both his hands on my shoulders.

Ha!

I’m here all day!

Anyway, episode 28 is more than just Jeff and I bullshitting.

I dive right on into some foster care sh*t.

Brutal? At times.

Heavy? Most of the times.

Worth it?

Ab-suh-fucking-lutely.

Listen, there’s so many kids our there that don’t stand a God d**m chance. And that really fucking sucks.

Here, let me read you a txt that foster parents get when a kid is looking for a home.

Ball crushing, right?

Yep.

We need more fixers, y’all.

We have plenty identifiers.

WE NEED.

MORE.

FIXERS.

Maybe it’s you?

Let us pray.

-Chris

It’s, “I’ll see you later”.

Man. This episode sure does have some “feels”. It would have been a lot easier to do three or four months ago… before she “Dear John’d” us.

For those of you that don’t know, Yvi Martin, the pastor of the church that I go to in STL (my f***ing pastor) is leaving us for Kansas City, MO.

F*** me.

But God bless her. It’s a pretty awesome deal for her and her fam. And even more awesome for the people in KC that she’ll be serving. They’re a lucky group…

For some reason though, I cannot get George Strait’s song, “All My Exes Live in Texas”, out of my head.

But instead of Texas, it’s Kansas City.

Coincidentally though, Yvi is actually from Texas.

Anyway, tune in and hear her story and listen to her words…

We talk about her upbringing, her literal call, and her witness to people’s lives being transformed by Jesus’s love and grace. (Shit’s for real, b.)

We also workshop a plan to be where-the-rubber-meets-the-road on bringing Jesus’s love and grace to hookers and call-girls over on the east side.

The plan is still in its infancy, but I’m dedicated to making this happen. (Amen. Ya' hear, Wyclef).

But seriously, Yvi’s words are fucking inspiring.

Like for real inspiring…. not bullshit inspiring.

She’s been instrumental in my recovery journey with her truthfulness, authenticity, and love.

She’s been a constant rock for my family through fostering a child, getting married, and some death shit.

She’s fierce, she’s wise, and she will meet you where you are…

Especially if it’s in the fucking pits.

Is someone chopping an onion around here? Aye yai yai.

Yvi – To say we will miss you is an understatement beyond all understatements. Thank you for being our “mother hen” these past 4 years.

So, as God once told you, you can “go” again. In peace.

While I go OD on ice cream and pizza to try and get over you.

Let us pray.

-Chris

What’s up everyone!

I hope you all had a peaceful Father’s Day weekend!

On episode 26, I really wanted to hear from Jeff.

I’ve gone on and on… and fucking on… about my old man.

But we really never have asked Jeff about his.

Jeff? What say you?

And, you big fucking liberal (

Forgiveness, y’all.

Don Henley don’t have shit on us.

Is it just me or does or every time we go on social media, three things become more clear?

1) Nobody fucking forgives anyone anymore.

2) Nobody seeks forgiveness anymore.

And.

3) Must be nobody fucking out there. Like literally. There’s no way people are getting laid right now. Not on the reg at least.

Pick a side. Stand firm. To hell with your neighbors.

Jesus Christ!

Go get fucked (literally… for real) and blow off some steam… and maybe you can find some fucking peace and kindness in your heart and soul.

And maybe, just maybe, you can start listening some more. Even if y’all disagree.

ESPECIALLY if y’all disagree.

Look… I don’t have this thing down perfect… but I really am trying… I promise…

And just by trying this shit… I become more peaceful, less arrogant, and I’m generally not spending hours and hours of my day all liquored up and pissed off.

And it really is dope AF to live this way.

For real.

Forgiveness, y’all.

It looks good on you.

It’s in the bible.

It’s a cornerstone of recovery.

And there’s no better sex than makeup sex.

Let us pray.

We gotta talk about it…

Regardless of cancel culture…

We gotta talk about it.

Plus, your podcast actually has to be good and have some listeners to get “cancelled”, right?

So, we should be safe.

On episode 24, Jeff and I talk about it. We have an imperfect conversation about it. And we open ourselves up to it.

So, if you are inclined, check it out and give us a listen. Maybe something will resonate… or maybe you’ll just want to hate fuck us all over the internet.

We shall see.

That being said, I wanted to leave y’all with the below quotes that are important to us.

“Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.” -Jon Acuff

“Trouble the Narrative.” -Austin Channing Brown

And, my personal favorite...

“I don’t know shit about fuck.” -Ruth Langmore

Let us pray.

-Chris

Chris Pondoff

We’re back!

Did you miss us?

Ha. You probably didn’t even know we were gone.

Well, thanks anyway for the Memorial Day break!

On Episode 23, Jeff and I do a little catching up.

I love old westerns and Dawson’s Creek. And I binge-watched both this Memorial Day Weekend.

Jeff grew a beard. A big fucking beard. The man is a beast!

I used to get all fucked up on Memorial Day weekend.

I’m so glad I don’t anymore.

Tune in and check this one out! We had a blast recording it and I think y’all will enjoy it.

Maybe it will be a good break from the real world that is surrounding us.

And, for all that shit that is going on…

Let us pray.

Amen.

-Chris

Chris Pondoff

When my old man died, my life was over. No joy. No happiness. No fucking smiles.

So I thought.

When I decided to quit drinking and doing other shit, my life was over again. No joy. No happiness. No fucking smiles.

So I thought.

When I was born, I was immediately baptized a St. Louis Blues fanatic, and my life, every spring/early summer, was over. No joy. No happiness. No fucking smiles.

So. I. Thought!

On May 12th, in honor of Tommy "TP" Pondoff, or Tommy “Orr” Pondoff, or Tom “Jesus Saves and Pondoff Scores on the Rebound” Pondoff, I sat down and recorded this episode detailing my lifelong journey with the sport of ice hockey.

My “way of life” if you will.

After setting that table, I dive into my spiritual as fuck Stanley Cup story from last summer, which I rarely discuss in great detail, where Tom was ever so fucking present... and most likely had a hand in keeping Jamie Benn's weak ass wraparound out of the net during game 7 OT Dallas.

So, tune into the podcast and hear a message of hope from a guy who was about as hopeless as it fucking gets.

And, If you will, please let it be a reminder that:

-If you're in the brutal depths of your grief journey. You can and will find joy again. I promise.

-If you're spiraling towards rock bottom, and the thought of a happy life outside of addiction seems impossible, you can and will find happiness again. I promise.

-If the current state of the world has your anxiety and depression off-the-fucking chart, you can and will find your smile again. I promise.

(-And, If you're a lifelong Chicago Blackhawks fan since 2010 (and have most likely stopped telling everyone how big of a fan you are as their franchise sits now), you can and will find... nope... come to think of it... y'all are fucked.)

God I crack myself up.

Miss you everyday, TP!

Give Blood. Play Hockey.

Let us pray.

Amen.

-Chris

Chris Pondoff

In the words of the “late”, great Tupac Shakur:

“Even as a crack fiend, Mama. Ya’ always was a black queen, mama. You are appreciated.”

When it comes to my relationship with my mother, no truer words have ever been spoken.

Well, at least the part about being appreciated.

You are soooo f-ing appreciated, mom. Exclamation point.

My mother has shown up and loved me despite.

Period.

End of sentence.

Despite all the shit I have put her through the years.

Temper tantrums, taking my old man’s side on every issue, attacking her friend because I thought he was hitting on her…

All that shit.

And, especially, for all the times that I took her for granted. She still showed up. She still loved unconditionally.

So, to say that I am grateful for her is the understatement of my lifetime. She truly has never left my side.

I now realize my gratitude for her.

I promise.

I realized this gratitude when I was a little boy.

I realized this gratitude the day I got out of inpatient.

I realized this gratitude on my wedding day.

But even more so today, I live in a constant state of gratitude for her. Even during our arguments, or even during some “foul mouthed tirades” I may go on, or even during my recovering alcoholic mood swings, or even when she is always taking my older sister’s side on everything…

All that shit.

I am grateful, mom, and I love you.

Now, I’ll text you my grocery list.

Twenty episodes! Allow us to pat ourselves on the back, shall we?

Listen, we realize twenty episodes is no huge feat, but you cannot get to two hundred without hitting twenty, right?

Kind of like how you cannot get to home-base without first getting to first, second, and third, right?

Unless of course you and her are the only two left sitting at the bar on a random Tuesday night, and after one last shot of tequila and one last key bump y’all you decide to sneak outside for a quick smoke ‘n poke… In that case, no need to waste any time with French kisses and titty play.

Or so I’ve heard.

Anyway!

Twenty episodes! How ‘bout that!?

For real though, what a fun time this has been!

Not only have Jeff and I have had the absolute privilege of having on some cool as fuck guests on, we have had tangible human beings reach out and take the necessary steps to make a change in their life.

And that shit gets me off.

After all, that is what we’re here for.

Oh. And we are not going anywhere. So help us, God.

We have even gotten Jeff "The Liberal" to say a few swear words on this thing!

Hell, he even calls out some double-lifed Christian hypocrites on this episode.

And I could not be more proud of him!

So, come on in and check out this show, guys, and listen as we recap what we’ve accomplished and join our discussion regarding our vision moving forward.

Fuck.

Maybe you would like to help.

Or, maybe you need some fucking help.

Either way, NEVER hesitate to reach out!

God bless you all!

Let us pray.

-Chris

Pondoff's Anonymous (Podcast and ZeroProof Journal)

If I could legally steal people’s music… kidding.

If I knew how to source and reasonably pay for intro music, I would have paid to use the “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase’s WWF/WWE ring entrance music to introduce Mark to the show.

Instead, because I suck at podcasting, I will just welcome him with my magical words.

On Episode 19, Jeff and I welcome my good friend, The STL Tax Lawyer, Mark Milton.

Thanks for joining us, Mark!

Mark and I went to high school and college together (I L L), so we have known each other for quite some time. (One of us is a successful lawyer with college degrees and the other is a former coked up, drunk college dropout who got a job from his daddy and now talks into a recorded zoom call once a week with a cheap hat that says, “Pondoff’s Anonymous” on it. You be the judge as to who's who.) Having said that, we have been friends for quite a while now, so I obviously moved my tax returns from H&R Block’s consistent proctology exam to Mark, who has been a Godsend. My wife and I use him, and we highly recommend him.

You may be asking, “Why are (we) having a tax guy on our recovery and mental health Pondcast?”

Well lemme tell ya’ something, Mean Gene.

Sorry. Couldn’t resist.

The short answer is this…

Mark has encountered countless people who have tax problems that are either directly or indirectly a result of their addiction. So, we talk about that.

Mark has also encountered people that are trying to turn their life around and often fear that their tax issues problems are too big to face and attempt to get in front of. So, we talk a lot about that. And, in my opinion, we dispel most of the fear you may have regarding this issue. Often times, we make the “monster-under-our-bed” mistake and fear that these problems are far too large for us to handle.

This is not true. You CAN get in front of this.

Last, Mark will give our audience (of seven) some good insight into the Government’s stimulus package and how it will be dispersed, even if you haven’t filed your tax return in the past couple of years.

So, tune in, and please listen and share as always.

Hopefully this episode can shed some light for you guys.

Thanks again to Mark for being apart of the program this week and, as always, thanks to all of you for listening and supporting us!

Be well and stay safe out there!

Let us pray, amen.

-Chris

Related Links:

www.irs.gov

www.pondoffsanonymous.com