The Poor Bastards throw on some black facepaint to achieve diversity.

The Poor Bastards talk about doin' the jitterbug and bad-mouthing our country.

The Poor Bastards stumble in the back door mumbling about Lindsay Lohan taking your kids, 30 year old dirt, and other stuff that you don't care about because nobody reads this anyway and I'm late for a meeting.

The Poor Bastards are bitching about the new Linux code of conduct, Twitter censorship, and the way WoW used to be.

The Poor Bastards mumble about politics for far too long and then finally get around to the new DayZ patch and WoW Expansion.

The Poor Bastards ramble on about ******, "legal" drugs, and fuckin' Millennials.

The Poor Bastards are still patting themselves on the backs about ditching Windows while discussing cartoons and anti-social media.

The Poor Bastards show up late to bitch about the way games used to be, "accidentally" erasing Windows, and office productivity software.

The Poor Bastards rattle off about Battlefield V(agina), the good ole' dayz, and smoking the WoW.

The Poor Bastards mouth off about 3D Shacks, inciting violence at bands' merch tables, and everyone's favorite post-apocalyptic running simulator.