Question 09: IN A LAY PRACTITIONER'S LIFE, SEXUAL ACTIVITY WITH ONE'S SPOUSE IS INEVITABLE. DOES THIS POSE AN OBSTACLE TO SPIRITUAL PRACTICE TOWARD LIBERATION?
Answer: Creation has established the family institution as a sanctuary for childbirth and upbringing. A stable family requires deep love between spouses, and nature has made romantic love intense enough to bind couples for life. Sexual desire serves as an effective bond between husband and wife. Clearly, the family environment intertwines deep love, sexual activity, and numerous strict obligations.
Family life presents countless challenges, often contrary to the path of spiritual practice toward liberation. Indian Brahmin philosophy suggests that couples should engage in sexual activity only for procreation, practicing restraint otherwise. This is a commendable viewpoint. If no one were willing to have children, birth rates would
decline, leading to an aging population and potential societal extinction. However, having children is a profound matter, beyond mere population increase. Many spirits yearn for human rebirth, and numerous animals could have the opportunity to learn the Dharma if reborn as humans. Additionally, some celestial beings with teaching vows await the chance for human rebirth to fulfill their commitments.
An overpopulated Earth filled with malevolent individuals contributes to a world of suffering and sin. Conversely, an overpopulated Earth with many kind and good people creates a worthwhile living environment conducive to educating sentient beings.
To have virtuous children, couples should pray to the Buddha daily. This practice attracts virtuous beings for rebirth. Couples should aspire for their child to contribute to the world's morality, rather than simply having a child for personal benefit.
In the family environment where spouses cohabitate, sexual activity is legitimate and challenging to keep pure. This presents a significant challenge for lay practitioners aspiring to deep practice. Superficial practice leads to stagnation and lack of progress. To advance spiritually, one must restrain sexual desire and potentially eliminate it entirely, akin to a true monastic.
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