My main reaction to the first four episodes of “Love Is Blind” season 5? OY.

There are certain conventions of “Love Is Blind,” as there are with every dating show, that we’ve grown to understand and, in a sense, feel comforted by. There will be a Golden Couple who emerges as a sure thing from episode one. There will be at least one major love triangle. By the end of the first drop of episodes, the couples will be engaged, if not already off to Mexico. And — perhaps most significantly — four or five couples WILL get engaged. (And usually more that they don’t follow, which we won’t find out about until the season is airing.)

This season, the rules are out the window. By the end of the fourth episode, we’re still waiting on at least one reveal, one major player has left the show altogether, only three couples are engaged, and there are zero Golden Couples in sight. And in a stunning first, we learn that two cast members DATED EACH OTHER BEFORE!!! (Side note: How has this not happened already?)

One thing that hasn’t changed? “Love Is Blind” providing ample opportunity for me to find new low-stakes, one-sided enemies. Yes, I’m looking at you, Uche.

My dear friend — and brilliant reporter, editor and cultural commentator — Laura Bassett gamely joined me to recap these first four eps. We discuss the messy Chris-Johnie-Izzy-Stacy love square, that Lydia revelation (!!), and all of the unnecessary B-roll of food that was conveniently included after several former cast members claimed they weren’t fed. Hope you enjoy!

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