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If you watch “The Bachelor,” in some small part, to soak in the befuddling spectacle of 24-year-old women weeping because they’re not engaged yet and will never be chosen… boy, has Netflix got a series tailor-made for you!
“The Ultimatum” is the streaming platform’s latest romance reality show, and, more specifically, it’s part of the Lachey cinematic universe. Like “Love Is Blind,” the show is hosted by the notoriously happily married B-list couple, Nick and Vanessa; also, like “Love Is Blind,” it forces its participants to drink out of matching metallic wine glasses, and it bills itself as an “experiment.”
The hypothesis: Taking time apart and seeing other people can help established couples decide if they’re ready to get married.
The experimental design: Six couples, in which one partner wants to get engaged and the other doesn’t, exchange partners for a three-week “trial marriage,” followed by a three-week “trial marriage” with their original partner.
The results: The various couples break up or get engaged, thus proving that Nick and Vanessa are correct. About something.
Okay, so the scientific method is not closely followed in the course of this experiment, or at least what we remember of it from 9th grade chem.
But what this show does offer, in abundance, are very, very young people who desperately want to get married now. Not when they’re 25, not when they’ve dated for four years, not when their partner is ready, but now. The cast is appropriately unhinged for a juicy dating show. Some standouts:
April, a 23-year-old influencer who almost exclusively refers to herself as “April,” as in, “April has had that maternal instinct since she was a little girl. April wants her own little girl.”
Rae, a 24-year-old who explains that her man should propose because “I have my degree, I stay in the gym, I cook, I clean, and I know how to fuck.”
Colby, a 25-year-old who dresses like a middle-aged ranch-owner and wants his girlfriend Madlyn to marry him immediately so that everyone will know she belongs to him.
Madlyn, a 24-year-old who treats Colby with barely-veiled contempt but seems completely open to marrying him at the end of this experience.
Alexis, a 25-year-old who admits she’d leave her boyfriend if he didn’t make enough for her to live a lavish lifestyle.
Though these characters can be jaw-dropping to watch in action, one thing these Netflix dating shows have going for them, oddly, is a fair amount of nuance. While “Bachelor” cast members are almost always neatly slotted into archetypes — villain, wifey, good guy — and carefully edited to keep their roles clear to the audience, even the most off-putting of the characters on “The Ultimatum” are shown as complex, confusing, complete humans. Even Alexis, who comes off as nosy, rude, and self-centered, is presented through the eyes of her boyfriend, Hunter, as lovable for her strong opinions and sense of self.
It’s juicy, disturbing TV — compulsive viewing, but also a bit concerning. The structure of the show involves taking a relationship with a fair amount of preexisting issues — disagreements about having kids, about money, about compatibility — and, without any apparent therapeutic support, injecting a huge dose of jealousy and insecurity. When the original couples reunite, they each not only have to deal with whatever physical and emotional connections their partner had while they were separate, but they have to field hurtful comparisons to the temporary partner. Most of the participants, by the end, seem to regret having done it, even if they got where they needed to go in their relationships.
On this week’s pod, we discussed as many twists and turns of “The Ultimatum” as we could jam into a two-hour taping. Hope you enjoy! xo
ShareWe’ve been reading…
I’m still reading “Pure Colour” by Sheila Heti, and it’s only getting wilder and woolier. For a long stretch, a leaf is simply having a conversation with themself (themselves)? I can’t describe it in a short blurb, I can only highly recommend. -Claire
A lot of brisket recipes to prepare for Passover seders. (Which by the time this comes out, will have already happened.) I settled on Alison Roman’s horseradish-y, shallot-y recipe, with a few tweaks of my own, like adding tomato paste. -Emma
We’ve been watching…
“Severance”! I’m a bit late to the melon party — Emma insisted that I watch for a future pod — but having just finally finished “Station Eleven,” I was very ready to start another show with some real teeth. -Claire
I binged “Severance” in less than 48 hours. I am still shook. -Emma
We’ve been listening to…
Randall and Jake, fresh off “The Ultimatum,” opening up a bit more about their experiences on the Ringer Reality TV podcast. We particularly loved hearing Randall call out his partner Shanique’s haters for being unable to accept an outspoken Black woman, and learning a bit more about what was going on with Jake and April’s relationship off-camera. -Claire
“Scamfluencers,” Wondery’s podcast, hosted by journalists Scaachi Koul and Sarah Hagi, about people who wield influence, both off and online, and use it to grift. The first two episodes are about a ballet company with allegedly lofty ideals, that ended in chargers of domestic violence and murder. -Emma
We’ve been buying…
These beautiful Swedish Hasbeen boots, which I coveted all fall and winter. I wore my Target knockoffs almost every day, but they were getting pretty scratched and gross by the end of the season, so when I saw that Bloomingdale’s had marked down the shearling clog boots I had originally longed for, I pounced. They were still a major splurge (though I was lucky to be able to combine a couple sale deals), but they’re super comfortable and I know they’ll be a cold-weather staple. -Claire
I saw my friend wearing these Everlane Easy Jeans with an elastic waistband, and I had to have them. Now that I’m going out to eat again regularly, I’ve re-remembered the deep discomfort of jeans cutting into your abdomen for a protracted period of time while sitting. They also happen to be on super sale right now. -Emma
By Emma Gray4.9
100100 ratings
If you watch “The Bachelor,” in some small part, to soak in the befuddling spectacle of 24-year-old women weeping because they’re not engaged yet and will never be chosen… boy, has Netflix got a series tailor-made for you!
“The Ultimatum” is the streaming platform’s latest romance reality show, and, more specifically, it’s part of the Lachey cinematic universe. Like “Love Is Blind,” the show is hosted by the notoriously happily married B-list couple, Nick and Vanessa; also, like “Love Is Blind,” it forces its participants to drink out of matching metallic wine glasses, and it bills itself as an “experiment.”
The hypothesis: Taking time apart and seeing other people can help established couples decide if they’re ready to get married.
The experimental design: Six couples, in which one partner wants to get engaged and the other doesn’t, exchange partners for a three-week “trial marriage,” followed by a three-week “trial marriage” with their original partner.
The results: The various couples break up or get engaged, thus proving that Nick and Vanessa are correct. About something.
Okay, so the scientific method is not closely followed in the course of this experiment, or at least what we remember of it from 9th grade chem.
But what this show does offer, in abundance, are very, very young people who desperately want to get married now. Not when they’re 25, not when they’ve dated for four years, not when their partner is ready, but now. The cast is appropriately unhinged for a juicy dating show. Some standouts:
April, a 23-year-old influencer who almost exclusively refers to herself as “April,” as in, “April has had that maternal instinct since she was a little girl. April wants her own little girl.”
Rae, a 24-year-old who explains that her man should propose because “I have my degree, I stay in the gym, I cook, I clean, and I know how to fuck.”
Colby, a 25-year-old who dresses like a middle-aged ranch-owner and wants his girlfriend Madlyn to marry him immediately so that everyone will know she belongs to him.
Madlyn, a 24-year-old who treats Colby with barely-veiled contempt but seems completely open to marrying him at the end of this experience.
Alexis, a 25-year-old who admits she’d leave her boyfriend if he didn’t make enough for her to live a lavish lifestyle.
Though these characters can be jaw-dropping to watch in action, one thing these Netflix dating shows have going for them, oddly, is a fair amount of nuance. While “Bachelor” cast members are almost always neatly slotted into archetypes — villain, wifey, good guy — and carefully edited to keep their roles clear to the audience, even the most off-putting of the characters on “The Ultimatum” are shown as complex, confusing, complete humans. Even Alexis, who comes off as nosy, rude, and self-centered, is presented through the eyes of her boyfriend, Hunter, as lovable for her strong opinions and sense of self.
It’s juicy, disturbing TV — compulsive viewing, but also a bit concerning. The structure of the show involves taking a relationship with a fair amount of preexisting issues — disagreements about having kids, about money, about compatibility — and, without any apparent therapeutic support, injecting a huge dose of jealousy and insecurity. When the original couples reunite, they each not only have to deal with whatever physical and emotional connections their partner had while they were separate, but they have to field hurtful comparisons to the temporary partner. Most of the participants, by the end, seem to regret having done it, even if they got where they needed to go in their relationships.
On this week’s pod, we discussed as many twists and turns of “The Ultimatum” as we could jam into a two-hour taping. Hope you enjoy! xo
ShareWe’ve been reading…
I’m still reading “Pure Colour” by Sheila Heti, and it’s only getting wilder and woolier. For a long stretch, a leaf is simply having a conversation with themself (themselves)? I can’t describe it in a short blurb, I can only highly recommend. -Claire
A lot of brisket recipes to prepare for Passover seders. (Which by the time this comes out, will have already happened.) I settled on Alison Roman’s horseradish-y, shallot-y recipe, with a few tweaks of my own, like adding tomato paste. -Emma
We’ve been watching…
“Severance”! I’m a bit late to the melon party — Emma insisted that I watch for a future pod — but having just finally finished “Station Eleven,” I was very ready to start another show with some real teeth. -Claire
I binged “Severance” in less than 48 hours. I am still shook. -Emma
We’ve been listening to…
Randall and Jake, fresh off “The Ultimatum,” opening up a bit more about their experiences on the Ringer Reality TV podcast. We particularly loved hearing Randall call out his partner Shanique’s haters for being unable to accept an outspoken Black woman, and learning a bit more about what was going on with Jake and April’s relationship off-camera. -Claire
“Scamfluencers,” Wondery’s podcast, hosted by journalists Scaachi Koul and Sarah Hagi, about people who wield influence, both off and online, and use it to grift. The first two episodes are about a ballet company with allegedly lofty ideals, that ended in chargers of domestic violence and murder. -Emma
We’ve been buying…
These beautiful Swedish Hasbeen boots, which I coveted all fall and winter. I wore my Target knockoffs almost every day, but they were getting pretty scratched and gross by the end of the season, so when I saw that Bloomingdale’s had marked down the shearling clog boots I had originally longed for, I pounced. They were still a major splurge (though I was lucky to be able to combine a couple sale deals), but they’re super comfortable and I know they’ll be a cold-weather staple. -Claire
I saw my friend wearing these Everlane Easy Jeans with an elastic waistband, and I had to have them. Now that I’m going out to eat again regularly, I’ve re-remembered the deep discomfort of jeans cutting into your abdomen for a protracted period of time while sitting. They also happen to be on super sale right now. -Emma

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