Probably Poly

oin us this week as we looks at why we explain why we don’t talk as much about metamour ethics as maybe you think we should, and what we mean when we say intentional metamours. In addition to the main topic we also spend some time answering our first international listener inquiry as to why we endorse the terms ethical non-monogamy as the main community umbrella term as opposed to consensual non-monogamy.

NRE With Multiple Partners by Probably Poly

Our 30th episode was taped live at APW with our fans. We discuss the structure of jealously and answer listener questions directly in this extra long extra live episode.

Citations:

- Handbook of Jealousy (book) Edited by Sybil L. Hart and Maria Legerstee

- A Perfect Mess (book)Eric Abrahamson and David H. Freeman

This week we talk about how NRE (New Relationship Energy) highjacks your body and mind. We deal with questions about how you can lessen its effects, and if you could avoid it all together. Or if, you’re into NRE how to ride it in a safer more ethical fashion. We also discuss how NRE temporarily bridges the social energy gaps between introverts and extroverts and the fallout that causes.

Harvard Page on Science of Love: http://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/

(if unclear: meme meant ironically)

In the last few weeks the first two responses from Franklin Veaux’s “accountability pod” and a veritable cornucopia of new material from Polyamory’s #metoo Survivor Pod has been released. Join us as we take a look.

(new minute markers)

00:00 - introduction

00:18 - notes and corrections

04:35 - main story

33:29 - outré / next time on

Links:

Most Recent Update from the survivor pod: https://medium.com/@fv.survivor.pod/survivor-stories-from-the-game-changer-and-other-updates-for-may-68058dc3065b

Franklin’s “accountability pod’s” first post: https://www.quora.com/What-progress-has-Franklin-Veaux-made-with-his-accountability-pod-following-the-Polyamorys-metoo-allegations

Aida Manduley’s twitter responce: https://mobile.twitter.com/neuronbomb/status/1131628523326590976?s=21&fbclid=IwAR2ScNHv6mpIjCKUDxeKjosHrob57bd3gMWrJycbqgCKXR-Z-XQZdhvH50I

New survivor story collection: https://polyamory-metoo.com/?fbclid=IwAR3fB5RR_qeXYklxo3z84x8rery6aKYF3_3QPErGn5JK7yS_C3ZvlXyqsBA

Dr. Elisabeth Sheff’s “accountability pod” post: https://elisabethsheff.com/2019/05/29/sociological-analysis-of-three-veaux-survivor-narratives/?fbclid=IwAR3548GtE9W7SMxUhtwmXWC9BopyGh5CDdw0zBByzm91M_0b5Yt2QNIQwV0

Louisa Leontiades “How I Fucked Up (So Far): http://louisaleontiades.com/ways-i-fucked-up-so-far/

Samantha Manewitz response to Dr. Elisabeth Sheff’s post: https://www.beyondsafewords.com/polyamory-metoo-update-when-sociology-and-transformative-justice-collide/

Louisa Leontiades direct response to Dr. Elisabeth Sheff’s post: http://louisaleontiades.com/response-to-dr-elisabeth-sheffs-critique-of-voices-from-the-game-changer/?fbclid=IwAR07nJ43BkJsLi83J7q7XcycY6M2SHFPLvlAZApTRHec4ovyf3T1-tzW0Y0

In this episode we introduce our new format, discuss the newly released survivor stories from the polyamory’s #metoo survivor pod, and look at why we blame. Specifically, we look at when and how blame is useful and healthy, when it’s not, and why and how we can remove blame as much as possible from our relationships.

Survivor Stories: https://polyamory-metoo.com/?fbclid=IwAR0OWVpDxB6zsdbYQF35m1RNjFuAa1Tz5Yv9eB-j45LoI5ixWnutmw9_LPk

Join us for our 1-year anniversary, as we discuss how members of leadership can more safely engage in relationships with community members. We are also very lucky to enjoy some words of wisdom from Samantha Manewitz, our guest on the last podcast, for additional depth. This is a great episode and we hope you all enjoy it.

We also now have a donation button, so if you want to support future work check out the link: https://www.probablypoly.com/donate

This week we are incredibly excited to have had the opportunity to talk with Samantha Manewitz of the Polyamory’s Me Too Survivor Pod. Unfortunately, the master recording for this episode has some glitches that cause small pops and jumps. We apologize for the slightly lower then average quality of the recording but the content is well worth the glitches. We hope you enjoy.

PayPal Pool (please donate): https://www.paypal.com/pools/c/8cEq8gX1q1?fbclid=IwAR2RUXo1ZYKSO76e_QGNPkQQc1xIC8hgk1bBtwd8D82NuK2McSh3tljjdEs

Bay Area Transformative Justice Collective Article on Transformative Justice: https://batjc.wordpress.com/pods-and-pod-mapping-worksheet/?fbclid=IwAR3qCGLoyZFqU_mydpgoOgUykIYdpap6CbyoZPGu-HlcFWtHcqMBlo412cw

Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy article on Plato’s idea of Justice: https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/justice/

RestorativeJustice.org article on “restorative justice” vs “transformative justice” from the restorative justice perspective: http://restorativejustice.org/rj-library/restorative-justice-and-transformative-justice-definitions-and-debates/11558/#sthash.McixXH4h.dpbs

Everyday Feminism article on Transformative Justice: https://everydayfeminism.com/2017/11/me-too-transformative-justice/

YouTube on Fascism: https://ytcropper.com/cropped/bg5cd0959dc058d?fbclid=IwAR0E_sFHh9c6P87tmkYxffyBYP6AK3D3Eg_SBBteIcC3JKE328uQX5i-f20

This week we cover the newest Polyamory’s #MeToo Survivor Pod update. Then we address how to find the line between telling others about your own experiences and violating the privacy of others.

March Update: https://medium.com/@fv.survivor.pod/march-updates-from-the-fv-survivor-pod-60ae06a97949

Harms List: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Jhk7nlq71dzRUsQKxlem35a40r2r6Pzz/view

Tracking Document for the Continuing Story: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1IIZtz6HyI-bRZs26DwNTWwYtQ_l5R4Il9zj2PKEflas/edit?fbclid=IwAR1KJFDaoUAHNmMye9JD8xPTegMhd4oTiQzCbaf3-6dSJgic5EXMsoV1XKk#gid=0

This week we discuss evaluating who and when you should come out to with our guest Sarah Neal who provides a set of questions you can ask yourself as a framework to understand the risks rewards and options available to you around coming out.