Probably Science

Comedian and literal master of linguistics Myq Kaplan (twitter.com/myqkaplan) joins Matt, Jesse and Andy this week to discuss: Birthday shenanigans! Plug 'n' chug! John Lennon's true assassin Stephen King! A defense of puns! Competing against a computer in a joke-off! A smartphone app that detects bipolar mood swings by the sound of your voice! Paul Simon's recent arrest! The origin of the country suffix -stan! Robot laws! Why octopuses don't stick to themselves! Holding a hot beverage makes you cooperative! Andy's continuing laptop woes! Making sperm precursors from the skin cells of infertile men!

Matt and Andy venture to Portland this week for a live Probably Science from the seventh annual Bridgetown Comedy Festival featuring comedian/director/actor Paul Provenza (twitter.com/PaulProvenza) and cyborg anthropologist Amber Case (twitter.com/caseorganic) who join together to discuss: Jesse's sitcom success! Confusing The Aristocrats with The Aristocats! Paul giving Dave Chappelle his first TV appearance! The Wild West days of early Comedy Central! Alan Dershowitz consulting on Kids Court! The economics of renting clowns vs. clown costumes! Why we're all actually cyborgs! Going through second-self adolescence! Computer-induced junk sleep! Andy's shocking discovery about the house he owned in Portland, aka the Gaytown Academy! Writing a thesis on cell phones! Digital hoarding! Being consumers vs. producers! Royal portraits as proto-Internet dating profile pics! People who brag about not watching TV!

Andy's in Portland, our planned guest is drunk, so Matt and Jesse fly alone on this one, as we talk about: Jesse's successes! Peeing outdoors! Hitler's disabilities! Stephen Hawking's worries! Building pyramids! Rock Paper Scissors! New elements! Nervous mice!

Comedian and past Probably Science guest host Auggie Smith (twitter.com/auggiesmith) returns to the show this week, joining Matt, Andy and Jesse to talk about: Craziness in Valley Village! Listening to police scanners! Reinventing the axe! A study that reveals the best way for men to dance! Being goofy-footed! A correction about Jesse's boneless, featherless chicken! A hacky plant that copies other plants! Jesse's vast typewriter knowledge! Making graphene in a blender! Babies that cry to keep from having siblings! Prison goofs! Glow-in-the-dark roads in the Netherlands! Playing the electric shock quick reflex game!

Radio personality, author, trivia whiz and cancer survivor Bryan Bishop (twitter.com/baldbryan) joins Matt, Andy and Jesse this week to talk about his experience battling an inoperable brain tumor en route to discussing: Bryan's upcoming book Shrinkage! Tumor tips! Changing doctors! Jumprope failures as cancer symptoms! Going through chemo and radiation therapy while planning your wedding! Getting (and giving) horrible news! Deciding which douchebags get fake names in your memoir! Doctors with less-than-perfect bedside manner! Pooping yourself because of cancer! Alternative medicine and the placebo effect! The tumor-shrinking magic of Avastin! MRIs vs. CT scans! The lunacy of David Arquette! Ringo Starr songs that may have been written by George Harrison! Jesse's crazy Oasis story! Solo pub trivia victories! Taking home $100,000 on Who Wants To Be a Millionaire! The evolutionary reason why beards are over!

Science communicator, teacher and podcaster Cara Santa Maria (twitter.com/CaraSantaMaria) lends her actual science pedigree to the proceedings this week, discussing: The Cosmos reboot! The unlikely funder of Karen Gillan's Oculus! Comparing goofy holidays! A listener's complaint about on-air eating that may relate to misophonia! Bath salts: They don't actually make you hungry for faces! Andy's first kiss being arrested for throwing a shoe at Hillary Clinton! The percentage of neurons vs. glial cells in your brain! A Cornell grad students letting a bee sting every part of his body! A generous listener hooking us up with Lagunitas beer! Growing up LDS! The puritans and their obsession with buckles! Lab-grown vaginas and edible meats! Futuristic cars without side-view mirrors!

Comedian Beth Donahue (twitter.com/bdonahueweedman) recently relocated from Nashville to Los Angeles, and she joins Jesse, Matt and Andy this week to get to talk about: Finding $600 and spending it on a shirt! Red flags in the form of KISS paraphernalia! Taking four-hour acid! Using 12-step meetings to work out comedy material! Former child sitcom stars who turn to standup! The truth about the stem cell acid bath story! Carrot Top's track record with the ladies! Matt's idea for revolutionizing a plane's black box! The possibility of a topical fat-burning cream! One of Saturn's moons might have liquid water! Jesse's butt problems! Women who are night owls are big risk-takers! Beth's sleep apnea pacemaker!

Irish comedian, actress and voice artist Tara Flynn (twitter.com/TaraFlynn) joins Matt, Jesse and Andy this week to discuss: Fleet Week! Sex workers in the Pacific Northwest! Sharing a name with a porn star! Jesse spraying himself with urine before a callback! The Shewee! Saving the government $400 million by changing fonts! Ink cartels! Debunking St. Patrick! Carving off a sliver of Irish Spring soap! A MacGyver microscope that only costs fifty cents! The possibly bullshit phenomenon of autonomous sensory meridian response! A 3D-printed skull! Tara's lack of a sense of smell! The influence of CK1 (not the perfume) on our circadian rhythms! Graphene contact lenses that let you see in the dark! Andy's almost revolutionary inventions!

To help us make sense of the biggest cosmology story of recent years, we invited three of our favorite physicists back to the show. Matt and Jesse are joined by an in-studio Dr. Larry Price, and, thanks to technical wizardry, NYC-dwelling Prof. Janna Levin and a Washington State-based Dr. Jamie Rollins, as they talk us through The Big Bang, what Inflation means, what this BICEP2 experiment did, whether it's important, what the Asian guy with the champagne meant when he said “It's five sigma at point two” to the Russian man and woman in that viral video, what was going on with that colder-than-absolute-zero story we didn't understand last week, whether academic journals are glory hunters, how multiverses fit in with this Inflation thing, and what we should take away from the whole story. And Andy missed all this to make sure a TV show about skaters getting hit in the testicles got made.

We're going Dutch on this week's episode, as Netherlands-based comedian Stefan Pop (twitter.com/stefan_pop) joins American writer/comedian Rylee Newton (twitter.com/ryleenewton) to chat about: Dutch insults! Buying a goat for charity! Working at Microsoft! A Dutchman going to an American university in Spain! Stefan's cadaver dissections! HP Lovecraft movies! A more in-depth look at the drug Narcan! The Netherlands' speed skating dominance! Probably Eugenics! Orange light that resets circadian rhythms! Jesse’s upcoming appearance in the coffee table book Bums! A prediction of the multiverse that dates back 700 years! The first episode of Cosmos! Lightning that predicts earthquakes! Temperatures below absolute zero! Australians shooting space debris out of orbit with lasers! A person’s voice as a predictor of their personality! How neanderthals might have yelled! Stefan’s unique take on saying hello!