PROJECT INTERROBANG

Mark-Ameen Johnson is a Professor of English at New York University. He was born and raised in Bay Ridge, south Brooklyn, and continues to live within walking distance from the house he grew up in. He stopped by the POETLab to discuss his neighborhood, education, extremist religion, OCD, and the more politicized, polarizing, and fascinating subset of the disorder called HOCD (Homosexual Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder).

Mr. Johnson’s compassion for his fellow human beings, regardless of their background or beliefs, is a testament to his character. His passion for teaching, music, foreign languages, geeking out, comic and other books, science fiction, super heroes, Ethel Merman, and his LGBTQ cat Roscoe must be heard to be believed.

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Host: Sh∞tspitter Kane

Guest: Mark-Ameen Johnson

Special Shoutouts: Whoopi Goldberg, Morgan Heritage, Dr. Michael J. Greenberg, Peter David, ACT-UAW NYU Labor Union

Brought to you by: Too much caffeine

Location: POETLab Studios

Hyde Al-Maghrib Park is a first-generation immigrant from Morocco who also happens to be a US citizen.

He is currently a student at NYU.

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Host: Sh∞tspitter Kane

Guest: Hyde Al-Maghrib Park

Location: POETLab Studios

Georgios is a third generation Greek from Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of the Congo.

It is what it is, it was what it was, and it will be what it will be.

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Host: Sh∞tspitter Kane

Guest: Georgios

Brought to you by: El Mago Real Estate

Location: POETLab Studios

Exclusive leaked Sunday Semen from Trump Tower.

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Host: “The President”

Guests: Americans

Special Shoutouts: Российская Федерация

Brought to you by: Freedom Cock Us

Location: Trump Tower Cathedral

Megumi is a Japanese-Mexican force of nature. She and the Shootspitter have literally traveled the world together, living and working on a ship for 6 months of their lives, circumnavigating the globe on two separate occasions – the first time around the southern hemisphere and the second time around the northern hemisphere – traveling to thirty or so countries along the way.

When he called her up to the POETLab Studios, the Shootspitter knew they’d have some memories to share and that she’d have some crazy things to say. Little did he know exactly how deep the crazy would go. They talked about the PeaceBoat, growing up in Mexico City, getting kicked out of her house at 16, being homeless and trying to survive on the mean Mexican streets for two years, using her brains and karate street fighter skills, panhandling and hustling, tagging and bombing and battling, getting hooked on cocaine and then kicking the addiction, eventually reconciling with her parents, and finally making it back to NYC after that fateful visit while on the PeaceBoat.

And now after 8 years in NYC, it looks like it’s all slowly coming to an end. But every ending is a new beginning and she has no regrets. After all, she’s lived a pretty damn crazy life in NYC and has a few more salacious stories to share, whether it’s working as a dominatrix in an S&M dungeon or somehow hooking up with a top male supermodel with a huge dick through an online “Facebook for Fucking” website.

Her motto is: “Whatever people think of you, Megumi, it’s none of your business.” And she sure as hell walks and talks like she believes that.

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Host: Sh∞tspitter Kane

Guest: Megumi

Special Shoutouts: PeaceBoat

Location: POETLab Studios

Welcome to Colombia.

Welcome to the concrete jungle.

Welcome to Andrés’ Magical Realism.

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Host: Sh∞tspitter Kane

Guest: Andrés

Brought to you by: Kool Aid Smile

Location: POETLab Studios

The Roman month of Februarius was named after the latin term februum, which means purification, which we need. In India, this final day of the non-leap-year month is designated as National Science Day, which we also need a lot more of.

Sadly, Pope Hilarius also died on this day in 468.

Thus, logically, we celebrate the recent announcement of the TRAPPIST-1 discovery with a little dirty ditty that will hopefully inspire us to march forth with chest thumping exuberance into the month of Martius, named after Mars, the Roman god of war and guardian of agriculture.

Spring shall be blossoming soon here in NYC on this pale blue dot of ours, the only home we’ve ever known.

So what shall we discover while we’re still here?

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Host: Sh∞tspitter Kane

Guest: Trappist-1

Special Shoutouts: NASA, Carl Sagan

Photograph: Aurora Borealis; Fairbanks, Alaska; August 2016

Location: POETLab Studios

On this last Thursday of Black History Month, we’re throwing it back, rewind, to last July. T’was a warm summer night and Times Square was Disneyland as usual. I was walking down Broadway towards Herald Square around midnight when I saw a homeless man sitting on his chair next to the N, R, W entrance/exit. His sign wasn’t the only thing that caught my attention. After some small talk, we decided to move over to the outdoor metal tables so we could converse more deeply about life on the streets, which for him was a new proposition. He had only been out there for 4 weeks and had, incidentally, just recently celebrated his 50th birthday.

Being on the streets, for Evan, was comical. He talked about Times Square and the crazy, asshole NYers he met or whom he was ignored by, as well as all the the generous tourists, namely the drunk Florida couple, the Australian who took him on a shopping spree in Duane Reade, and that crying lady who took him up to her hotel room, where they fucked their brains out all night.

Evan reminisced about living his early years, since birth, up in Harlem, moving out to and growing up in New Jersey, being a DJ, heading up to the University of Maine to play football, joining the military and serving his marine tour abroad in Okinawa, Japan and Madrid, Spain. He talked about settling back into civilian life, making mistakes, getting pussy whipped and marrying young, getting cheated on, and the butcher knife and Glock 21 that led not only to divorce but also bankruptcy and hard times.

He talks about the VA and sometimes regretting ever having joined the military. He tells the story of staying at the homeless shelter at Bedford and Atlantic in Brooklyn and all the crazy things he saw in his short time there: the crackheads, the K2/Spice junkies, the Bloods, the recently released prisoners, the homosexuality, the corrupt or simply apathetic police, the crowded floors and violence, and the constant fear and paranoia. After an incident, he decided to leave the shelter and vowed never to return. Living on the streets was an infinitely better option.

Some volunteers from an organization called Breaking Ground approached him on the streets one day and offered to help get him into some housing. At the time of our conversation, the application was being processed and he seemed hopeful. He knew that once he had housing, finding a job would be easy, since he was willing to do anything. And from there, anything was possible.

As the mass shooting in Dallas had just recently occurred, I asked him towards the end of our conversation what he thought about Black Lives Matter, police violence, race relations, and his general thoughts about the direction of the world.

Evan waxes philosophical and ends the episode on a cautiously optimistic note.

 

P.S. – After stopping the recording, we naturally continued our conversation, delving into his experiences as a DJ in the golden years of hip-hop in NYC. It was too interesting, so I started a second recording for the vaults and by the time we wrapped it all up, it was past 4am. I was pretty exhausted and had a long train ride ahead of me, but at least I had a shower, bed, and someone to go home to for the rest of the night.

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Host: Sh∞tspitter Kane

Guest: Evan

Location: Times Square, Broadway & 40th Street

One night at 1:52:03am, the Chest Thumping Succubus descended upon me from a dark supernatural wet place like a frightening dream demon, cackling sadistically as she tried to collect my semen to the vibrating beat of the ping pong circulate.

She rendered me speechless and delirious. After the operation, my voice slowly started to come sexy back, butt before I could ask her name or what she was planning to do with it, she was gone and all I had left was a memory of my impending posterity.

Luckily, my iPhone 6s+ was next to my bed. Since I’m always ready, I was able to record this rare chance encounter, probably for the first time in NYC history. This episode is thus very serious. Whatever happens, please try not laugh. Because if you do, I’m afraid she may also come for you.

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Host: Sh∞tspitter Kane

Guest: Chest Thumper Succubus

Brought to you by: Alaskan Thunderfuck

Location: In Bed

Pêche Di is the multi-talented founder of Trans Models NYC, one of the first transgender modeling agencies in the world, and a partner in the TeaDate App, a place where transgender and trans-attracted hearts can connect.

On Valentine’s Eve, she arrived at the POETLab, fierce, beautiful, and ready to reveal the fullest, deepest, most raw and uncensored, version of her true life story yet. Born in Bangkok to third-generation Chinese-Thai parents, Pêche first realized that she wanted to be female at the tender age of five. She recounts her memory of that school play that started it all and reminisces about her childhood in Thailand. She speaks of going to an all-boys military school and facing discrimination and constant bullying because of her voice, her skin color, her sexual orientation, and her gender identity and expression. She explains how she relentlessly attempted to persuade her super conservative family at the dinner table, every night for years, to accept and understand her situation as she underwent her transition, which she had initiated on her own, with guidance from a transgender classmate, from the age of 15.

She talks about the societal perceptions and the legal protections, or lack thereof, of LGBTQ persons in Thailand, and being relegated to working in go-go bars, nightclubs, strip clubs, and cabarets, including the famous Calypso Cabaret in Bangkok. She talks about flying off to live and study in Vienna, her first boyfriend, and the sex change operation that she had always dreamed of but that her British boyfriend didn’t approve of. After returning to Thailand, it wasn’t long before an opportunity to perform in an all transgender show in southern Taiwan arose. It was on this beautiful island that she got back in touch with her Hokkien roots and where she experienced her first earthquake, which struck as she was celebrating her birthday. Malaysia was the next country, but it was over before it began, so she jumped on a bus with her two Thai girlfriends down to Singapore and had so much fun and made so much money dancing and performing that she never wanted to leave.

One day, she walked past NYU Singapore and a seed was effectively planted.

Back to Thailand again, she entered a famous national competition called Miss Tiffany and placed 4th, though the media attention proved to her and everyone else that she was a force to be reckoned with. Having broken up with her British boyfriend and ready to move on, she crossed the UK off her list and all that remained was NYC and Sydney. NYU beckoned as did Miss Asia NYC, which she applied to while she was still in Thailand. She arrived in NYC on her birthday, and virtually swept every category in the annual transgender pageant, including the top prize, which marked quite the auspicious start to her new life in the United States.

In NYC, she studied English, worked for one day as a bartender, and took acting classes, where she first met Laverne Cox and several other prominent ladies of the trans vanguard. She used Craigslist and met a man who took her on a Caribbean cruise. All was well and romantic until he viciously assaulted her in their room for her refusal to get fucked without a condom, almost killing her in the process, though she fought back like a Muay Thai-trained animal who refused to succumb. Luggage was thrown off the ship, blood was everywhere, passports were lost forever, fake diamond rings were taken, someone got kicked off in Jamaica, two guards maintained constant surveillance while enforcing a bathroom ban, two teams were needed for the strip search, and when all was said and done, ICE initiated a deportation notice.

Somehow, Pêche was able to elude deportation and she eventually made it back to NYC, though she lived in constant fear and paranoia. Another Craigslist date, another heinous crime perpetrated. This time it was rape. All fucking night with nowhere to go but the bathroom. The fireman, the calendar,