Last Friday, Feb 3rd, exactly one week ago, was a busy day for both of us. Nevertheless, Yasmin the Super Woman persisted, and I appreciated every single NYC minute of it.

After seeing her off at the train station, I rushed back home to prepare for Jacob’s impending arrival. My decision to schedule both of my Saudi friends, who happened to also know each other, for the same night was starting to feel a bit overambitious and totally insane, despite my lingering enthusiasm. 5 hours with Yasmin and I ended up shooting the shit with Jacob for an additional 5 hours, until we started to die at 3am.

We ate some delicious Indian delivery and I introduced Jacob to his first mango lassi. For dessert, we smoked and then proceeded to talk about Yemen, our plans to visit Aden and Yafa, the fireworks show and gun salute that would greet me, slaughtered cows and lambs, the life of women and the concept of awrah, khat and becoming a sexual warrior, growing up in Jeddah, education/religion/culture, Daesh aka ISIS, Malaysia vs China, living with an Indian Major of the Malaysian military, landing in JFK and being welcomed with a frightening interrogation, living up in the Bronx in the hood, the war in Yemen, having deep Jewish roots, change, transformation and being reborn in America, popping bubbles and big fat damns, interpretations of the Middle East, Trump’s so-called Muslim Ban, American politics, homelessness in the city vs the countryside, the business of smuggling refugees and other stateless people, and Oh Canada.

Jacob ends the episode with a special personal message to President Trump.

We took a final fat hit before he jumped on a late night A train for his long journey back down to Brooklyn. Riyadh vs Jeddah, Female vs Male, these two episodes represent the abridged stories of two openminded, young, wild, brave, complicated, and determined Saudis seeking a better life and papers that might allow them to have some semblance of legal protection as they hustle their way to the next station of their lives.

At the time of this episode’s publication, President Trump’s so-called Muslim Ban seems in jeopardy as the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled unanimously against reinstating the travel ban.

According to the tweety bird, it seems that the Unstable Orangutan is unhappy. Lettuce pray for him.

To be continued.

∞

Host: Sh∞tspitter Kane

Guest: Jacob the Yemeni Smuggler

Brought to you by: LSD Strain + Northern Lights

Location: POETLab Studios

Yasmin is a super woman from Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. On Friday, Feb 3rd, coming off the heels of the historical Women’s March and the various protests around the country regarding President Trump’s so-called Muslim Ban, she dropped by the POETLab so we could rap about the situation back in the capital city of the kingdom, how and why she ended up in NYC, and her current status as person on the run and seeking asylum for a better life.

We sat in the lab for 5 hours straight, talking, smoking, laughing, interrobanging, celebrating, and just generally digging deep. This episode is a condensed version of that conversation and will be of particular interest to those fascinated by deeply complicated and emotionally laden human stories. Yasmin’s soft and sweet voice is real, her story and struggle is real, and she keeps it as real as any independent-minded woman might hope to do, despite the very real fears and uncertainties that loom large like an apocalyptic lunar eclipse.

We touched upon a wide variety of topics regarding Saudi Arabia – many of them sensitive, controversial, taboo, or haram – including the religious police, dating, movie theaters, TV, art/music, the Internet, technology and social media, Snapchat and Twitter, porn, hackers, porn hackers, the unbearable weight of boredom, no woman no drive, the guardianship system and the yellow paper, difficulties with banking, school/education, work, weddings and the abaya check, tea time, the five daily prayers, women and mosques, and religion and culture in general.

The second half of the conversation focuses on NYC and change. We talk about the challenging yet liberating process of transformation, speaking frankly about sex, drugs – marijuana, alcohol and mushrooms – wearing the hijab, listing and dancing to memorable gusts of wind on a private Tribeca rooftop, learning how to really use an airport for the first time, NYU, and finally on to the more serious concern of running away from home, learning to survive, working and hustling, and the agonizing decision of potentially seeking some form of protection, solace, and refuge in asylum.

Yasmin is a super woman and this is just a part of her story and struggle, as intense and unbelievable as it will surely sound to many. She is a dear friend of mine and it is my pleasure to be able to share our intimate conversation with you. We only ask that you keep an open mind and try to understand.

∞

Host: Sh∞tspitter Kane

Guest: Yasmin the Super Woman

Location: POETLab Studios

With the plight of the fresh orangutan still on my mind, I decided to shift my attention to an animal of similar hue, the red rooster, not to be confused with Marcus Samuelsson’s up in Harlem. I called Zoe and dragged her with me to Chinatown on Thursday, Jan 26th, on the eve of Chinese New Year’s eve to speak to some people about the upcoming holidays.

There were red roosters everywhere. Most of the people we met were very suspicious. Maybe it was just the furry windjammer, but there were potentially other things as well.

Others were gracious and we enjoyed our time together. I still can’t believe that the doorman with the huge knife scar on his neck in front of the stairs that lead up to the interesting massage parlor relented to Zoe’s pressure. You can hear his voice in the opening rooster song. If he sounds scared, you can blame little Zoe.

Meanwhile, Yang was attempting to break me into the Bank of America event where he was performing his erhu later that evening, also perchance in Chinatown. It would have been beautiful to record his live performance. But being the gracious friend and consummate professional that he is, he recorded 4 tracks – Xiyangyang, Happy, Huangmei, and Luchaihua – for me later that night and dropped them off in a box for me to open on Friday morning. And thus I am able to share his gifts with you.

Friday, Jan 27th, New Year’s Eve.

After meeting with Gloria somewhere near Bryant Park in the afternoon, I jumped on an 7 express train out to Flushing, while Zoe made her way down to Brooklyn Chinatown. She found a gaggle of sweet kids in a park and I uncovered some teenagers on the basketball and in the food courts, a nice Taiwanese lady waiting with her auntie for their car service after their special dinner, and a girl originally from Fujian named Ru in a clothing store.

After a quick dinner at the New World Mall foodcourt, I made the long journey back to resume editing.

Jessie was in Taiwan so we talked on the phone. She downloaded the app so we could transfer some authentic audio from the Taiwanese celebrations straight back to NYC to be bounced and broadcast back out to infinity.

Saturday, Jan 28th, 2017, 新年快乐.

I arrived at Sara Roosevelt Park around 11am for the Firecracker Ceremony and Cultural Festival. Zoe, of course, was a little late and it was very fucking cold. There were flakes that fluttered like snow because it was slightly snowing, but the firecrackers didn’t seem to mind. With the weird looking monster who looks like an alien vanquished and gone away, we were finally safe to put our full energy into thoroughly fearing and enjoying the rest of 2017.

∞

Host: Sh∞tspitter Kane

Guest(s): Anonymous Voices of Chinatown

Music: Yang Wang (Erhu), Wang Rong Rollin (Chick Chick)

Special Shoutouts: Jessie

AI: Zoe (Audio + Photography)

Location: POETLab Studios + Chinatown NYC; Chinatown Brooklyn; Flushing, Queens; Taipei, Taiwan

(Little) white lies (apparently don’t) matter, even when an impressive collection of them eventually, after a lifetime of redundant behavior, transmogrifies into one huge white lie. That being said, we should not let the gratuitously embarrassing prevarications of one unstable orangutan in particular distract us from our wider conservation and/or self-preservation efforts.

The orangutan is the only great ape that lives on the Asian continent. This “person of the forest” is rapidly losing its habitat due to its land being converted into agriculture (particularly for palm oil) by large commercial plantations and small subsistence farms, road development, illegal timber harvesting/logging, and the hungry needs of real estate moguls from outer boroughs.

Orangutans are the most solitary of the great apes. Dominant males have distinctive cheek pads and a reddish combover and produce great speech calls that attract females and intimidate rivals. They live most of their lives high up in the trees, only occasionally coming down to drag their knuckles on the forest floor of the 5th Ave concrete jungle, and certainly rarely ever all the way up to that strange savannah where the gilded avenue crosses Dr. Martin Luther King Jr Blvd, aka 125th Street.

Despite some unfortunate associations that just aren’t true or are simply based on alternative facts, orangutans are among the most intelligent primates.

∞

Host: Shootspitter Kane

Location: POETLab Studios + Harlem

I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that a privileged someone said the American Dream is dead. If that is indeed the case, let’s go ahead and inaugurate another one in its stead. Every ending is a new beginning said the mushroom I just fed. To my own fucking self, of course without remorse.

So, if you like adventure and long and hard romantic walks on the beach towards nowhere in particular or alternatively all up in that cave right there, let’s do it, animal style, since anyone and everything maybe entertained, anyways.

Subterranean, spelunk me if you can. Mic drop.

∞

Host: Shootspitter Kane

Guests: See below

Special Shoutouts To: Donald John Trump, Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, Bert Kreischer, Lee Greenwood, John Lennon, John Bon Jovi, Kosaka Daimaou, The Sweet, Katy Perry, SIA, Biggie, Ludacris, Wiz Khalifa, Martin Luther King Jr, Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama, Obama, Barack Hussein Obama, Gene Kelly

Location: POETLab Studios | DocumentingNYC