Today hosts Merv Jersak and Tim Jerome share personal anecdotes about how self-awareness and self-regulation can significantly impact team dynamics and project outcomes. From navigating high-stress environments to learning valuable lessons from past mistakes, this episode provides deep insights and practical strategies for project managers to enhance their leadership and emotional intelligence.

Main Take-Aways

Stories are powerful teachers. Today’s story lessons help your understanding of the importance of being self-aware and applying self-control both in our personal and professional lives:

putting people over project

asking team members to help you with developing better self-control/self-regulation

controlling your behavior in organizational cultures different from our normal experience

adapting your behavior to that of the organizational culture you are part of

listening to those closest to you to help with self-awareness

understanding when you have control in a situation and when you do not

developing self-regulating techniques to deal with stress

practicing responses to aid in self-control/self-regulation

Show Notes

Today’s Project Managers Coffee Chat: Leadership Lessons from the Trenches of Emotional Intelligence – Learning Self-Awareness and Self-Control

00:47 Merv begins with a story that still bothers him today, though it happened over 30 years ago, a story of how he put project needs over a team member’s distress.

04:00 Tim adds a contrasting experience where a former supervisor of his would question his team regarding how he (the supervisor) was improving in being able to improve his self-control by reducing his emotional outbursts.

06:08 Merv remembers a situation where his actions in a project meeting were counter to the cultural behaviors of his client organization. He was gently corrected by his customer counterpart and learned a new method of self-control in conflict situations.

07:54 Tim adds his own project culture experience in which he learned to adapt his behaviors to adopt to the organization’s culture.

11:38 Merv offers advice on listening to those closest to you to become more self-aware, and tells the story of how his teenage daughter would express her disapproval of how he was coming across to the family

12:35 Tim recounts a time of job loss to learn how to deal with situations you can control and those you cannot.

14:36 Merv had an experience with self-imposed stress when he was competing in speech contests, and recounts a technique that he used to control his stress. He calls it “Think Pink”.

17:21 Merv then tells of the time that his senior VP came onto the project site to ultimately terminate him. Merv had forewarning of this and spent time practicing his response to include self-control and self-regulation. As a result, his employment was not terminated.

19:52 Concluding thoughts and a peek into next week’s podcasts dealing with emotional intelligence as it relates to our relationships.

Join hosts Merv Jersak and Tim Jerome as they offer practical tips, tools and techniques to help you develop and strengthen key aspects of emotional intelligence, namely self-awareness and self-control/self-regulation. The cover such tried and true tips such as journaling, listening to those close to us, and practicing stress management techniques. They discuss tools such as personality assessments and emphasize the importance of continuous learning, maintaining regular breaks, and ensuring physical exercise and adequate sleep. The conversation aims to help project managers enhance their emotional quotient and translate that into more successful project delivery.

Main Take-Aways

Tips, tools, and techniques that project leaders can utilize to help them become more self-aware and develop self-control/self-regulation:

1)     perform a self-assessment

2)     journal

3)     pay attention to feedback

4)     consider requesting a 360-degree feedback

5)     practice self-regulation before implementing

6)     consider using personality assessment/self-discovery tools

7)     continue self-learning

8)     be an active listener

9)     be self-reflective when warranted

10)  handle your stress

11)  exercise and get enough sleep

Show Notes

Today’s Project Managers Coffee Chat: Tips, Tools, and Techniques to Strengthen Self-Awareness and Self-Regulation

00:27 Introducing tips, tools, and techniques for the inner-focused emotional intelligence traits of self-awareness and self-control/self-regulation.

01:05 Tim begins by recommending that you perform a self-assessment – no judgment – just an awareness of your own emotions and emotional triggers.

01:53 Tim and Merv both advise journaling for self-reflection and the benefits that brings.

03:47 Merv advises you to pay attention to feedback from those closest to you and who have your interests in mind.

05:06 Merv goes on to describe a 360-degree feedback tool, whereby you receive feedback from supervisors, peers, and subordinates. Combining the feedback from several partied allows you to understand yourself better.

07:09 Tim strongly recommends practicing self-regulation techniques before implementing them in your project management activities.

 08:34 Merv suggests that you also consider personality assessments and self-discovery tools such as Myers-Briggs, DISC, Strengths-Finder, etc. to help in your self-awareness quest.

10:00 Tim reminds you not to try everything that we are discussing all at once.

10:39 Merv recommends the book, “Working With Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman as an excellent resource to understand the subject area of emotional intelligence more completely. Continuous learning is a necessity for the project manager who wants to succeed.

11:48 Merv and Tim then exchange ideas regarding active listening, discipline, time management, prioritization, setting S.M.A.R.T. goals, and continuous improvement.

13:36 Merv raises the idea of navel gazing or self-reflection to concentrate on becoming more self-aware.

15:23 Merv then adds the need to deal with the stress that comes with the job as a project manager: breathing exercises, visualization techniques, downtime.

18:59 Merv advises that you continue an exercise regime and get enough sleep.

In this episode, hosts Merv Jersak and Tim Jerome discuss the importance of emotional intelligence for project managers, focusing on self-regulation and self-control. They define self-control as constraining behaviors within boundaries, while self-regulation involves deciding how to think, feel, and act appropriately. The discussion touches on the benefits of self-regulation, such as improved decision-making, initiative, stress management, adaptability, and conflict resolution. They highlight challenges like implicit biases and oversimplification of situations, and they emphasize the need for perseverance, mentorship, and continuous improvement. The episode underscores the interconnectedness of self-awareness, self-regulation, and the drive to achieve, concluding with the idea that project managers should aim to be better than their past selves rather than competing with others.

Main Take-Aways

The project leader will be more successful in his or her endeavors by continued improvement in the area of emotional intelligence. While self-awareness is an absolute necessity, self-control/self-regulation must follow:

• some benefits – better decision-making, initiative, stress management, handling conflicts, adaptability
• some challenges – implicit biases, oversimplification of situations, slowness in mastering self-control, project stresses/fatigue
• positivity in transparency, integrity of word and deed, adaptability, initiative, self-confidence, and motivation to achieve

Show Notes

Today’s Project Managers Coffee Chat: The Emotionally Agile Project Manager – The Critical Importance of Self-Control and Self-Regulation

00:54 Self-control/self-regulation follows self-awareness in the quest for a stronger emotional intelligence.

01:09 A working definition of what the hosts mean by self-control and self-regulation.

02:57 Reviewing some benefits of self-regulation in project management:

03:13      - better decision-making and more thoughtfulness

03:39      - the taking of initiative

04:04      - better stress management

05:14      - better handling of conflict situations

05:34      - adaptability

06:36 Reviewing some obstacles to developing a more effective self-regulation:

06:50      - implicit biases

07:01      - oversimplification of situations you find yourself in

07:31      - apparent slowness in mastering self-control

09:33      - project stresses and the resulting fatigue

12:20 Integrating self-regulation with other traits such as transparency, integrity of word and deed, adaptability, initiative, self-confidence, and motivation to achieve.

18:32 You’re not competing against others, only against who you were yesterday and against giving up – hallmarks of self-awareness and self-control.

In this podcast episode, hosts Merv Jersak and Tim Jerome discuss the pivotal role of self-awareness in enhancing project management outcomes. The conversation delves into the definition of self-awareness, its components such as emotional awareness and self-assessment, and how it contributes to better decision-making and improved relationships. They emphasize that developing self-awareness is an ongoing process that leads to stronger self-control and emotional regulation. Challenges in developing self-awareness, such as biases and overthinking, are also addressed, highlighting their impacts on personal and professional growth. This discussion is foundational for the upcoming exploration of self-control in the subsequent episode.

Main Take-Aways

The project leader will be more successful in his or her endeavors by continued improvement in the area of emotional intelligence. The first step in developing a strong emotional intelligence, in the opinion of the hosts, is to become more self-aware:

• learn to know yourself – emotional triggers, biases, opinions, interactions with those around you
• understand the benefits of self-awareness
• understand the challenges to overcome on the path to becoming more self-aware
• Show Notes

Today’s Project Managers Coffee Chat: The Emotionally Agile Project Manager – First Step, Self-Awareness

00:54 Introducing self-awareness as the critical base for emotional intelligence with a layperson’s definition – simply stated, “know thyself”.

03:05 Components of self-awareness include being aware of your emotional triggers, viewing how you interact with the world, being honest with who you are, doing a self-assessment to understand your own biases and opinions, developing self-confidence, and building up to the point of self-control/self-regulation.

07:41 The benefits of becoming more self-aware include such items as better decision making, improved relationships, enhancing your leadership skills, better stress management, better understanding when navigating conflict situations, etc..

12:20 The challenges in developing self-awareness include such items as not taking the time to see yourself clearly, not being honest with yourself, your biases, your innate hubris, the way you were reared, overthinking or oversimplifying the situation, second-guessing yourself, etc..

19:43 Summarizing the topic of becoming more self-aware.

In this episode, hosts Merv Jersak and Tim Jerome begin the discussion into the significance of emotional intelligence (EI) in project management that will span several upcoming episodes. They discuss why technical skills alone aren't enough to deliver exceptional project results and emphasize the importance of human factors like communication and relationship-building. Merv and Tim outline five important aspects of EI (though there are many more that could be considered): self-awareness, self-regulation (self-control), motivation, empathy, and social skills. The hosts explain how EI can enhance decision-making, conflict resolution, and stress management. They also introduce the plan for upcoming shows dedicated to each EI aspect, starting with self-awareness.

Main Take-Aways

Information Technology (IT) project management – and indeed the IT career path in general – stresses technical skills over the essential human factor skills. But project managers ignore the human factors at their own peril, particularly at this time when so many businesses are looking for employees that exhibit strong people skills and abilities to work more effectively and collaboratively with others.

That’s where emotional intelligence can help you as a project leader:

• to become self-aware as well as others focused
• to improve communication with teams and customers
• to enhance your relationships with teams and customers
• to improve your ability to handle conflict situations
• to make better decisions
• to have a stronger sense of improved customer service
• to manage stress more effectively

Show Notes

Today’s Project Managers Coffee Chat: The Emotionally Agile Project Manager – An Introduction into the Importance of Emotional Intelligence for the Project Manager

 00:39 Introducing the topic of the importance of emotional intelligence in project leadership.

01:52 Merv and Tim provide a definition of emotional intelligence from their perspective as experienced project managers, both from self-awareness and others-focused viewpoints.

03:17 Why less experienced project managers (though this is sage advice also for highly experienced PMs) would want to improve their emotional intelligence skills.

04:42 An introductory summary of some of the extensive benefits of emotional intelligence in project management:

05:11      – improved communication with teams and customers

05:33      – stronger relationships with teams and customers

06:21      – improved ability to handle conflict situations

07:30      – better decision making

08:46      – stronger sense of improved customer service

09:47      – better stress management

10:27 An outline of how Merv and Tim will be segmenting various aspects of emotional intelligence for future podcasts to be able to delve deeper into the topic. The higher level of this breakdown will involve

·       self (self-awareness, self-control)

·       others (motivation, empathy, social skills)

18:05 Using emotional intelligence in an IT career to enhance your essential human factor skills, and to offset the emphasis on the technical aspects of IT project management.

19:53 A brief summary of the importance of emotional intelligence to conclude this episode.

In this episode, hosts Merv Jersak and Tim Jerome share personal stories and lessons learned from their experiences, highlighting how good leaders manage these aspects both in their professional and personal lives. From a supervisor's effective discipline techniques to the importance of setting routines and self-learning, the hosts offer valuable insights and practical tips for improving project delivery. They also discuss the role of ethics, values, and principles in shaping behaviors and achieving successful project outcomes. This episode emphasizes the human aspect of project management, aiming to equip listeners with strategies to develop better habits and maintain a balance between work and personal life.

Main Take-Aways

Stories are powerful teachers. Today’s story lessons are regarding the application of discipline, time management, and prioritization both in our personal and professional lives:

• handling situations where the customer culture forbids certain activities that your organization promotes
• allowing project staff to make their own decisions and learn from their mistakes
• balancing multiple roles and responsibilities in our careers
• self-learning
• establishing personal and project routines
• establishing personal and project cadence
• living your values and principles, establishing habits, acting ethically
• developing positive health and nutrition disciplines

Show Notes

Today’s Project Managers Coffee Chat: Leadership Lessons from the Trenches of Personal and Professional Discipline

00:58 Tim leads off the podcast with a personal story of a supervisor who displayed a level of discipline in how he allowed his leads to make their own decisions while he provided nuanced coaching in the background. He allowed them to make mistakes, but not so much as to negatively affect the project.

03:51 Merv credits his father’s balancing of multiple roles and responsibilities as a dual careered farmer and teacher as his first example of discipline, prioritization, and time management.

05:35 Merv then recounts a humorous story on how during a long car trip, he required his family to keep quiet while he (selfishly) listened to audio tapes on time management and how to use a DayTimer.

07:03 Tim recommends an approach that he has found valuable in building his career, that of self-learning. Self-learning requires discipline.

11:18 As a consultant whose career required frequent travel, Merv shares how establishing a routine allowed him to stay disciplined. He and Tim both stress the importance of routine.

13:59 Tim piggybacks on this thought by reminding you of the need for living your values and principles, developing good habits, and acting ethically as part of your disciplined approach to growing your careers.

15:34 Merv provides a great story/tip in how he would meet with his customer executive to establish a project cadence, thus infusing an immediate discipline into the project for its full lifecycle.

16:33 Tim shares how he developed the discipline of exercise and nutrition, and making time for these as part of his project management daily tasks. Merv adds that as IT professionals, we often neglect our health for the sake of delivering the project – this is not good for our overall effort.

21:01 Merv concludes with a quick summary of the week’s topic on discipline, time management, and prioritization.

In this episode, hosts Merv Jersak and Tim Jerome highlight the importance of discipline, time management, and prioritization as they discuss effective tools such as the Moscow Analysis and Eisenhower Matrix for prioritizing tasks. They emphasize the significance of balance and mental agility. The conversation extends to practical tips for remote work, setting personal boundaries, and maintaining focus. Both hosts share their morning routines and techniques for staying mentally sharp, illustrating how small, consistent practices can lead to significant improvements in both personal and professional life.

Main Take-Aways

Tips, tools, and techniques that project leaders can utilize to help excel in the areas of discipline, time management, and prioritization:

1)     use tools such as the MSCW Analysis and Eisenhower Matrix to help prioritize tasks

2)     practice the Pomodoro Technique when needing to focus for a longer period of time

3)     find ways to keep interruptions to a minimum when working remotely

4)     find ways to keep interruptions to a minimum when working in the office in open spaces

5)     develop a morning ritual to prepare yourself to meet the priorities of the day

6)     use to-do lists or other such techniques to manage priority tasks

7)     practice discipline techniques daily for small productivity improvements

8)     use mind-development puzzles and games to maintain mental sharpness

Show Notes

Today’s Project Managers Coffee Chat: Tips, Tools, and Techniques in Applying Discipline, Managing Time, and Setting Priorities

00:30 Introducing tips, tools, and techniques for the discipline, time management, and prioritization skills needed to manage projects more effectively.

00:49 Tim describes a tool called MSCW (pronounced Moscow) analysis, which he uses to aid him in setting daily task priorities (Must have, Should have, Could have, Won’t have).

02:00 Merv adds a similar tool, the Eisenhower Matrix, which helps him prioritize tasks based on urgency and importance.

03:13 Merv then introduces a tool he uses on his Smartphone called FocusWatch, which is based on the Pomodoro Technique – a method of deep focus for 25 minutes followed by a 5-minute mental break.

04:50 Merv offers a discipline technique that he uses to fence off uninterrupted time while working in a remote environment. Tim adds a disciplined approach to remote working situations where individuals don’t have the luxury of private work areas.

07:18 Both Tim and Merv offer discipline techniques for office work situations where individuals are housed in open spaces.

08:08 Tim and Merv both describe their morning rituals to help them prepare mentally and physically for a productive day ahead.

11:46 Both hosts also describe their discipline in using to-do lists, backlogs, action plans, etc. to help them manage their time productively, and to help prioritize their tasks.

14:15 Tim strongly recommends the discipline of putting these techniques into daily practice for small gains in becoming more efficient and productive.

14:59 Tim shares his techniques for maintaining mental sharpness, such as crossword puzzles, Sudoku, and chess. Merv uses several word games on his smartphone, such as Wordle and Wordle-type puzzles.

Hosts Merv Jersak and Tim Jerome dig deeper into the foundational aspects of project management, focusing on the critical areas of time management and prioritization, and relating these back to yesterday’s topic of discipline. They explore the necessity of effective time management both in scheduling and overall project efforts, emphasizing the importance of allowing team members input and engaging them in the project schedule. They also discuss the challenges and pitfalls of multitasking and interruptions, offering practical strategies for mitigating their negative impacts. Lastly, they address the nuances of prioritization, differentiating between urgency and importance and the significance of risk management and dependencies. This episode is essential for project managers striving to enhance their leadership and project delivery skills.

Main Take-Aways

Time management and prioritization are two critical skills that must be developed to help manage projects with a more disciplined approach. Some key aspects of time management and prioritization:

• balance the amount of detail in a project schedule with the amount of leeway given to those assigned the tasks
• explain the “why” to aid in understanding the task to be performed
• be diligent with time management and prioritization in remote work situations
• be aware of the pitfalls of poor time management, multi-tasking, interruptions
• differentiate between important and urgent tasks when prioritizing work
• review task dependencies to remove blockers
• manage stakeholder expectations when prioritizing project work

Show Notes

Today’s Project Managers Coffee Chat: The Discipline Diaries: Harnessing Time Management and Prioritization in Project Management

00:29 Introducing the topic of time management as an important aspect of project management, not only to the project schedule, but in all of our project-related efforts.

01:35 Balancing the detail developed in a project schedule while giving leeway for creativity in task execution by the individuals assigned the tasks. Sometimes less detail is more in terms of productivity.

03:30 The importance of providing the “why” behind the tasks in the project schedule with regard to time management and prioritization of work.

04:17 Consideration of time management challenges when in remote work situations.

05:47 The pitfalls of not managing your time effectively.

07:13 The fallacy of multi-tasking and its ineffectiveness in managing your time.

09:05 Being aware of the negative cost of interruptions to time management.

10:58 Switching to the topic of prioritization and its importance to your work discipline.

11:18 Prioritizing your work effort by understanding the difference between importance and urgency.

12:29 Applying the concept of risk management to aiding with task prioritization.

13:43 Judicious procrastination can help with prioritization as some previously defined tasks may become unnecessary.

14:42 Eliminating work blockers by reviewing task dependencies among team members.

15:16 Taking the critical path into consideration when establishing work priorities.

16:24 Managing stakeholder expectations when stakeholders introduce additional priorities into an already approved project schedule.

19:42 Concluding summary reminding you that discipline, time management, and prioritization are important skills to develop as project managers.

In this episode, hosts Merv Jersak and Tim Jerome discuss the importance of self-regulation and consistency in leadership, emphasizing discipline’s role in effective communication, handling adversity, and promoting deep organizational approaches. Through personal anecdotes and practical advice, they illustrate that discipline is not a restrictive force but a protective structure that creates a reliable environment for project success. The discussion prepares listeners for future topics on discipline through time management and prioritization.

Main Take-Aways

Discipline is an critical aspect to how project managers conduct themselves on the project. Discipline demonstrates professionalism and earns the trust of your teams: Four aspects to develop in the area of discipline:

1. develop consistency to build trust
2. develop deep organizational skills to aid in efficiency
3. develop disciplined communication skills to maintain transparency
4. develop a disciplined approach to handling adversity to maintain an even keel on the project

Show Notes

Today’s Project Managers Coffee Chat: The Discipline Diaries: Harnessing Discipline in Project Management

00:53 Introducing a deeper look at the importance of discipline in project management.

01:12 Defining discipline and its impact by considering consistency, deep organization, communication, and handling adversity on a project.

03:06 Exhibiting consistency as a leader to develop comfort, reliability, and trust in your leadership.

05:36 Discipline in the deep organization skills that add to your ability to lead your teams well, to streamline processes, to aid in overall efficiency.

10:37 Instilling discipline in your approach to oral and written communication on the project – both in positive and negative messaging. Being transparent in your communication

16:10 Maintaining a disciplined approach in handling adversity; learning to be confident and curb your emotions in adverse situations.

In this episode, hosts Merv Jersak and Tim Jerome consider the importance of discipline, time management, and prioritization in project management. They discuss how these characteristics, though often considered process-oriented, are crucial leadership traits that contribute to successful project delivery. The conversation covers practical examples of implementing discipline and effective time management, especially in remote working scenarios, and emphasizes the need for project managers to lead by example. The hosts also explore the concept of self-regulation and its impact on maintaining focus and efficiency in project management.

Main Take-Aways

Project managers tend to think of discipline, time management, and prioritization as process-oriented skills that they need to help manage project tasks more effectively. However, these should also be considered as leadership attributes to more holistically lead all aspects of your projects – indeed, all aspects of your life even outside of the office. Consider:

• definition of discipline, time management, and prioritization in the broader concept of leadership
• application of these three attributes in remote work situations
• the interconnectedness of these three attributes
• consideration of discipline as the attribute that initiates time management and prioritization
• employing these three attributes to build trust and reliability within your teams
• the importance of applying these attributes to the daily discipline of less experienced project managers to build their experience and effectiveness
• the importance of spending the necessary time to develop these characteristics
• leading by example

Show Notes

Today’s Project Managers Coffee Chat: The Discipline Diaries: Navigating Time and Priorities

00:30 Introducing the topic of discipline, time management, and prioritization as important aspects of your leadership attributes or characteristics – not just process-oriented skills that we learn.

02:04 A brief definition of discipline, time management, and prioritization.

02:44 A deeper dive into the leadership attribute of discipline, using an example of its effectiveness in a remote working situation.

03:38 The importance of task lists and adhering to a time management approach with prioritization.

04:10 The three attributes are interconnected, a commonality, all working together to making your teams more efficient and productive.

06:22 Discipline as perhaps the most important of the three attributes, as time management and prioritization naturally follow from a disciplined approach to project management.

09:21 Exploring how these three attributes contribute to building trust and reliability within your project teams.

11:44 Recommending approaches for less experienced project managers to effectively apply discipline, time management, and prioritization as part of your daily approach to leading teams.

14:51 The importance of developing these attributes within yourself, even if it requires self-learning outside of your day-to-day responsibilities. These leadership characteristics are necessary, in addition to your capabilities to complete project tasks as part of your daily responsibilities.

16:39 Self-control and self-regulation as a discipline in managing your work and your teams’ work in a virtual working environment.

19:31 Leading by example in your application of discipline, time management, and prioritization.