Project Studio Tea Break

It's time, once again, to join your two favourite master-breakers, as they laugh off the evil eye of TC Electronic, strut their stuff to the Monkey Banana Dance, and revel in sensitive performances of double-bass, trumpet, and hand-gun. Mike reveals his three acid tests for equipment reviewers, before presenting fresh harvest from the Facepalm vine. John gives his friends a brutal Whittening with help from delta blues legend Wobbly Jefferson and "Have you heard the original?". And we contemplate the length of forever with Yngwie Malmsteen's irony-free opus 'Fire & Ice'. Oh, and don't miss our most convoluted pun yet!

Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast!

It's a veritable sugar high this month, with Jon lathering himself in maple syrup to talk about the inventor of the jello shot and how he himself miraculously dodged a speeding facepalm bullet. Meanwhile, Mike explains how Mackie have been protecting the earth from alien symbiotes by knobbing Tom Hardy into submission, and relives his finest hour as part of Sound On Sound's market-leading Double Entendre Department. We bestow our opinions of anechoic chambers on the Patron saint of Q&A, and nominate Neil Finn's nude sessions as a candidate to replace the Wilhelm Scream. Plus, have you even wondered how a cyberpunk reworking of Nevermind's album artwork relates to Vegan Suspense, Electric Weasels, and a Gothic Sandwich? All will be revealed, along with exciting news of celebrity-endorsed spray-on acoustic stubble. (Disclaimer: Despite the cheerful songs about poisoning pidgeons, no animals were harmed during the recording of this podcast.)

Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast!

It's time to join The Numerical Suffix Twins and The Ultimate Frisbee Conspiracy for another bout of testing concepts (and SM58s) to destruction! Nibbling their hand-monogrammed biscuits, your intrepid hosts take on the 'jukebox musical' phenomenon, delivering their verdict on which 1980s TV shows would best suit the format, whether Kurt Cobain ever sang the part of Jean Valjean, and why there's clearly such a scarcity of grumpy-looking white men who can't sing. The facepalm action is bang up to the minute too, as Mike mugs himself with multiple mix revisions and erotic mic cables, while Jon bemoans auditory dog hair and the onerous dance rituals required by the God Of Acoustic Guitars. Plus we have Gearslutz repaying its debt to humanity, Mike swearing appreciatively at Yo-Yo Ma, parents playfully tasing their own children, and our mole at NPR Tiny Desk making banana smoothies.

Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast!

It's a star-studded caffeine pitstop this month, as our intrepid project-studio podcasters count the syllables of pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis with Eminem, The Carpenters, and Dominique the singing nun. Jon takes a break from hay-bale racing The Village People to give an applause-poaching masterclass and stop a stampede with his phantom-powered Taser. Mike (aka 'Baby Hagrid') calls time on the heavy-metal volleyball to hunt invisible gorillas and bemoan the quality of machine teaching. And both of them marvel at the blooming of Smashmouth's strange All Star (but...) rose. So settle down with your cuppas and enjoy The Second Worst Idea Of All Time, where we answer the pressing questions of the day. What exactly is an insane amount of clarity? Why am I keeping my old cassettes? And are policemen really getting younger?

Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast!

It's a culinary adventure this month, as Mike and Jon sit down at their mahogany podcasting table, pour themselves a creamy lactose-adjacent fresh drink and ponder Marmite theatre, the evolution of the Creme Egg, and knuckle sandwiches for unethical psychologists. Further excitement, too, as PSTB's first Patron skews our Einaudi grudge match and Errol The Editing Chipmunk makes his debut utterance. Mike shares tales of masking-tape snobbery, dreamy school reports, and public facepalming, as well as answering the important question: why the 80s? Jon investigates how Spotify's fake artists are watering down recording excutives' beer, and asks whether great production can ever salvage awful music. And, crucially, Shakira shares her incomparable wit and wisdom with us all...

Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast!

This month, there have been tough questions about the latest NAMM show product releases: Can Yamaha restart the 'marketing valve' gravy train? Should TC Electronic be shipping their new plug-in with a free pencil-sharpener? And who will walk away with PSTB's coveted Straight To Landfill Award? For Facepalm Of The Month, Jon takes a break from mixing the heartbeat of the universe to explain how some gigs are too classy for their own good, and what it feels like to be smirked at by a slice of cucumber. Meanwhile, as we push the quality bar for Toast Foley to new lows, Mike asks what instrument is actually the most difficult to record. Plus, join our bid for Summer Anthem 2018, a viral video sensation boasting ninja puppies, Monteverdi duetting, and beards with everything. (Any excuse to shoehorn Prince and Jimmy Somerville into the same sentence. There, did it again!)

Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast!

Your intrepid Chippendale hunk-biscuits refuse to rest on their laurels for the second episode of Project Studio Tea Break. No sir! Mike's got his cape and stage fan at the ready, and is preparing to knob synthesizer designers through the post. Jon's inflated his mullet, donned the Rhinestone jacket, and generated a facepalm feedback loop by winning the Wooden Spoon with wooden spoons. And, crucially, the Toast Foley has been upgraded! Pressing questions this month include: What's the best mic for hand-to-hand combat? What's the real reason for X-Factor's existence? Do you pine for the warmth of AES jitter and 40-bit floating-point maths? Plus, we ponder Akai S950 Kontakt controllers, keyboard tetherball, Techno Trucks Against Fascism, homeopathic guitar solos, and the risks of touring with a voice-box. And don't forget to take part in our daft synth-module names quiz! Can you tell the real ones from the fakes? Or are they even better than the real thing?

Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast!

The inaugural episode of Project Studio Tea Break sees Mike Senior and Jon Whitten settle down with their cuppas to ponder the big issues of project-studio existence. The SM57's tuning dial, for instance. Or toast Foley. The Tell-tale Tummy. Whether it matters what side a dulcimer-player dresses. Plus, do you know what a Meccano X-Wing, the wine-tasting clap, nipple clamps, and Minecraft's mullet-mod have in common? Or that The Phantom Facepalm hails from Godalming? For in-depth coverage of these crucial issues and more, join Mike & Jon on their first pioneeringly open-source podcast adventure. (May contain traces of laser-printed fruit.)

Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast!