Pshht Themes

Bow twice, clap twice, pray, then bow again you heathens, it's time to talk Japanese gods and spirits in this instant classic film from Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli, "Spirited Away." This week we begin spooky season with soot sprites, river spirits, stink spirits, river spirits looking like stink spirits, AND DID WE MENTION DRAGONS?!?!?!?! Well, we did now. Erin loves museums, Brennan likes work conferences for gods, and together they have strong feels about another movie without railing representation. Like all Miyazaki films, this is a story of combating greed and environmental destruction, and we really really love it. No more homeless dragons!!

This week Erin, Brennan, and Matt review the very-short "Book of Boba Fett" season while trapped inside a bacta tank. We hate the Mods, love the Tuskens, and wish Mando 2.5 was not attached to this holo-transmission. Brennan rages at the improper use of the name "Daimyo," Erin expresses her deep and undying love for the rancor (bite marks included), and Matt is now our resident Gamorean butt watcher. "That's just a real guy's butt painted green!" Overall, this season could have been better, but someone at Disney lacked the faith. All the same, we got some N1 pr0n and Danny Trejo, and in that light we feel pretty good. 

Maximus. . . Maximus. . . Do you want to learn about the Roman Empire? I do mean the ENTIRE Roman Empire? Well welcome to our seminar on every inaccuracy in the 2000 film "Gladiator." To be fair, we're not that annoying, but we do have a bit to say. We don't just talk about the history of Rome, we also discuss the production assistants in jeans in "ancient Rome," locating the compressed air tanks on chariots (this movie won 5 Oscars), and all the prima donna antics behind the scenes. From the life and death philosophies of Marcus Aurelius to Commodus being a whiny brat, there's a lot to think about. Also, learn what a quadriga is, or a fascist, or the difference between a Visigoth and a Vandal! We got it all folks! Are you not entertained?

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!?!

Erin and Brennan pray to a goal post, thanking it for saving the US team from elimination. Well, that basically sums up their experiences this tournament. . . . We discuss the 2023 FIFA Women's World Cup in all its glory from debutants to experienced powerhouses, up and coming teams, and upsets galore. To the Matildas, we raise a Fosters, our new pride after all our teams had been destroyed by the blond giants of Sweden (always the bridesmaid and never the bride). Our faves: the US, Japan, Australia, and New Zealand. Our nemesis: THE NETHERLANDS (curse you Max Verstappen). Yup, only one villain, and for a purely arbitrary reason. It was nice to see a World Cup that wasn't sidelined by controversy but was highlighted with brilliant play, extraordinary talent, and just joy (plus drunk Australians). We can't wait for the next World Cup and hopefully by then the US will have risen again for WORLD DOMINATION PART 5!!! 

In the night, under cover of heavy night filter, we mail letters to three strange men we've never met based on flings our mom had 20 years ago. . . yeah, that's a safe story plot with zero chance of drama (S.O.S). Queue the sequins, confused daddies, and Greek theatrics: "Mamma Mia," we have an ABBA wedding to plan! There's no limit to the fun shenanigans our cast can come up with in this movie, a female fantasy where women rule and want a man after midnight. 

She's so young and sweet, only 17 (she's 20). 

In light of the non-bombshell bombshell that is: "U.S. Cogressional Testimony on the Validity of ALIENS", Erin and Brennan decide to build a monument, a potential meeting point for Terrans and Extra-terrestrials, but they can't decide if it should be made of clay, potatoes, or shaving cream. Hmmmmmm. Maybe pillows? This week we discuss Close Encounters of the Third Kind and ponder benevolence vs. malevolence. 

Benevolence: the spaceships are shaped like ice cream cones! 
Malevolence: THEY KIDNAP A CHILD FROM THEIR MOTHER'S ARMS!!! 

Prime Directive: do not interfere with the natural development of other societies.
*'Inception'-like compulsion to rendezvous at a set meeting place*
Result: LIVES TORN APART. WYOMING EVACUATED!!!! . . . People live in Wyoming?

This week Erin and Brennan be sure to don hats with the flooffiest feathers and blue ponchos, for they are, THE TWO MUSKETEERS!!! We discuss the 1993 version of the Three Musketeers (why?) with possibly the worst cast to pretend to be French. We reference almost every movie we've ever reviewed: Man in the Iron Mask, Robin Hood, Phantom of the Opera, Princess Bride, Face-Off, and Top Gun! How are these related? Listen to find out. We talk Tim Curry doin' his thang, no women in more than 3 scenes, and the miracle of rifling. For a film we're pretty sure was shot on the same lot as Beauty and the Beast, we're surprised there wasn't more singing.... We recommend watching this film with a sparkling rosé, maybe a chardonnay, but definitely not a brandy, that only pairs with gunpowder! 

Erin wishes on a falling star (spaceship on fire) for a friend and gets Brennan instead. This week we discuss Lilo and Stitch, the story of a little girl sorting her emotions and a pet "dog" that we're pretty sure looks like a wombat but is actually an alien. With his programming to destroy, Stitch must learn the mahalo life or die trying. Can he learn the meaning of ohana and the deep message of the Ugly Duckling? Thank goodness he didn't grab the books on how to oyster farm or fire eating. Meanwhile, "Himbo-King" David graces our lives with a warm heart, fancy hair, and a nice butt. If there is a competition for best Disney Prince, David wins in our book. Look at his Adonis belt for crying out loud! Come on Nani! TAP THAT ALREADY!!!!!!

Hey bruh, how's the swell today? Gnarly, bruh. Did you hear about the new guy? The guy in the suit with that janky board? I think his name is Johnny Utah. The former star quarterback of the Ohio State Buckeyes that won the Rose Bowl a few years ago over USC but had to retire because of a knee injury, but then he went to law school? Wasn't he in the top 2% at Quantico? I dunno bro, I just know he's been hanging with the Philosopher of the Waves, Bodhi. The Bodhisattva himself? Woah, dude. . . . His house parties are dope, especially the fire-spitters INDOORS. Man, I'm just glad those surfer Nazis, War-Child and Bunker, aren't coming, they always create a scene, man. On an unrelated note, did you hear about those bank robberies by the Ex-Presidents? They're like ghosts, dude. 

Erin and Brennan watch the 4th greatest submarine movie and wonder why it's not more popular than the ratings suggest. We got Michael J. Fox, Cree Summer, Don Novello, and Leonard Nemoy blazing a trail through the latter days of the Disney Rennaisance. Erin gets personal with Rasputin's . . . life, Brennan learns how fast a saw can cut a "female" in two (it's actually a FEMUR and not a FEMALE) (...dumbass), and our four basic food groups: beans, bacon, whiskey, and lard. Dr. Sweet is our favorite hero particularly as we unpack character motivations, and we wonder about Mole's backstory because no one will tell us. Apparently, we don't want to know! Ultimately this is a far more entertaining film than the critics will claim, I mean, y'all bought that there was a secret map on the back of the Declaration of Independance!!!!!