Pshht Themes

Erin, Brennan, and Matt conclude their Prequel extravaganza with Revenge of the Sith. Finally, they got to the content we actually cared about: killing younglings! We also return to sassy Obi Wan quips, epic lightsaber duels, and villains with breathing issues. We side with Sam Jackson that Mace Windu still lives. Did you see a body cause we sure didn't. But we did see the first force choke, we saw Chewbacca, and we definitely saw Palpatine as Sidious from parsecs away! For real, this was a story that needed to get dark and they did: slaughtering Jedi young and old, betrayals in the bonds of brotherhood, and manipulation of good people to do bad things. But hey, at least that cringe love story is officially over.

We're back this week with our second installment of our review of the Star Wars prequels, and amazingly Brennan survived his hit from the fan mobs! Ultimately, we cringe through the horrible relationship at the core of this film. Why Padmé? Why did you choose HIM?!?! It's cause he's tall isn't it. . . While Padmé gets to live out her "dream", the rest of us watch a horny teen pushing his obsessive romantic fantasies on a Galactic Senator definitely out of his league. In all fairness though, we get to enjoy Obi Wan mature into the Jedi master we all know and love, but the moment the camera moves from him to someone else we lost our minds once again. What were the Jedi doing the last 10 years? How did NONE of them notice two armies being created the same time? Did they even try to look for the Sith? WHAT MADE YOU THINK A HORNY ANAKIN WOULD BE OK TO SEND TO A REMOTE LOCATION ALONE WITH HIS FANTASY WIFE?!?!?!??!! *Deep Breath. DEEEEEEP BREATH. . . * The clones are dope though. 

It's Star Wars Week and Matt is back with us for Episode One: The Phantom Menace, as we attempt to wrap our minds arou- MISA CALLED JAR-JAR BINKS!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHH! In a galaxy far far away, our hosts are annoyed by half the characters in this universe and confused how the hell such good plot points got overpowered by. . . THAT. What we wanted: nature vs. nurture, where Leia got her personality, and the early signs that the Republic will fall. What we got: random and unnecessary immaculate conception, bureaucratic jargon regarding taxation mandates and embargo treaties (no taxation without representation!), and mediclor- *we interrupt this description to say that Brennan has been assassinated by nerdy bounty hunters*. 

While we send a Galactic Senate inquiry to investigate the validity of these claims, Erin and Matt call for a vote of high confidence that the lightsaber duel is totally sick! Duel of the Fates, anyone?

Welcome abroad the FCPV (From a Certain Point of View) 4520 Starship Pretender. Our crew is accosted by Thermians and compelled to review one of the greatest parody films ever made. From sly references to Jim Kirk's hubris to Sigourney Weaver climbing through airducts, again, this film is filled with all the easter eggs sci-fi fans love. We fight Gorignak the Rock Monster, we love Fred falling in love with tentacle girls (gotta skirt that line very carefully), and all the while hoping Guy doesn't go the way of the "red shirts" to be offed on an alien planet. There are really so many references that we want to say here but that's for the podcast to explain about the movie we just watched. 

By Grabthar's Hammer, by the Sons of-   SHUT UP!!!!

A wall. A great and powerful wall. Barely 6 feet tall and yet no one can cross it except our two hosts. That's a little weird right? They find themselves in a world of magic, mystery, and Michelle Pfeiffer flaunting that bod! We follow Tristan traveling across the mystical kingdom of Stormhold with Yvaine (the star), Septimus (the seventh son), and Ricky Gervais. From the mind of Neil Gaiman, the Sandman himself, we get a hero's journey of love and adventure graced by the feathered boa of Robert De Niro, not to mention a cast that's just stacked out of its mind. Seriously folks: Claire Danes, Ben Barnes, Charlie Cox, Henry Cavill, Sienna Miller, Peter O'Toole, and YOU SHALL NOT PASS. . . Sir Ian, Sir Ian, Sir Ian, Sir Ian. . . . We have to ask how this movie didn't make a bigger splash, I mean, BANG! (star joke)

It's a tale as old as time: girl meets furry, gets stuck in a castle, develops Stockholm syndrome, and then becomes queen? Erin and Brennan are asking the real questions around Disney's 2017 remake of Beauty and the Beast: why hire a Scottish Ewan McGregor to play a French candelabra, why is the magic mirror so large but the mirror SO small, and is President Bartlet hidden in the West Wing? We gush again about the brilliant performance of Luke Evans while praising the on screen chemistry of Kemma Watson, I mean Emin Wine, I mean Kwevin Klatson. . . nevermind. Disney tries hard to be woke, but like so many of their "attempts" it really falls like Gaston off a bridge. Spoiler alert? 

Today really feels like a holiday for Brennan; he gets to spend multiple hours discussing his love of Stephanie Beatriz (AKA Detective Rosa Diaz, AKA Emily Goldfinch, AKA Mirabel Madrigal). Meanwhile, Erin is with Jorje doing the spackle in the crawlspace behind the walls. This week we discuss the Academy Award winning film Encanto, a story that Brennan loves and Erin learned to love. From TOTALLY not talking about Bruno to caffeinated youths, we break down Abuela's walls of control and let loose all the feelings. Careful of the capibara though, he's still not impressed. 

Voulez Vous Coucher avec Moi, Ce Soir?  Need we say more? Our adorable and impressionable hosts return to Monmartre to relive a story from their youth; being poor and enjoying the Moulin Rouge... just  the outside (from a certain point of view). In this episode, we all fall in love with our heroes Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman, keep forgetting that they said it's all going to hell in a handbasket, and then crying because it DID go to hell in a handbasket and that basket's name is Roxanne! EVERTHING'S GOING SO WELL! Erin and Brennan sing quite a bit, imagine the fractals of Toulouse-Lautrec, and give Nicole Kidman the recognition she deserves for writhing on the floor to "Your Song". In the end, we're amazed we made it most of the review without bringing up Star Wars (but then we did, and we didn't stop). 

And then an unconscious  Argentinian fell through the roof. . . .

In the future year of 2019, a grumpy man named Deckard tracks down humanoid creations called replicants. Four replicants break from their programming to find meaning in their short lives in the hellscape of Los Angeles, minus the Hollywood sign. This movie stars Erin's best friend Rutger Hauer, Edward James Olmos as the foxiest human this side of the solar system, and Harrison Ford being . . . himself? Our two hosts have so many implanted memories of the seven versions of Blade Runner, they need to take the Voight-Kampff test to confirm it's all real. Thanks, Dad. There are fewer laughs this week as our hosts dive into the workings of a truly brilliant work of visual art. What are humans? Are we human? Or are we unicorns? Pretty sure we're haggis. 

Two best friends find themselves in a high risk operation. The punishment: life in jail, the reward: seven million pounds. All that stands between them and their newfound wealth is the Irish government and their own conscience. Our heroes, friends since youth, bonded in the gauntlet of the pub, fight against all odds to bring everlasting glory to themselves and their homeland. They battle chicken dinners, flying dentures, and skinny dipping in the Atlantic. In the struggle for greatness in "Waking Ned Divine" there can be no weakness. . . wait did we mention that the two heroes are 70 year old Irish men in a town of 52 people on the southern coast? 

Happy St. Patrick's Day