Psychology of Habits (With Jane Smith)

If you have ever felt like being single was a problem to solve as quickly as possible, you are not alone in that. This episode is about what actually goes into choosing a partner well, and why the pressure to just not be single anymore might be the thing quietly working against you. If you stopped treating being single as a waiting room, what would you actually do with the time? The tension between wanting connection and choosing well is real, and most advice skips right over it.

The episode works through six lessons about what compatibility actually looks like, why the checklist you have might not really be yours, what the difference is between genuine attraction and anxiety wearing a romantic costume, and why building a life that does not need rescuing might be the most useful thing you can do before or during any relationship. Research on attachment, conflict, and wellbeing shapes the conversation without turning it into a lecture. What you come away with is a clearer sense of why you choose the way you do, and whether those reasons are actually working for you.

What would it look like for you to choose from curiosity instead of from fear of being alone? Follow along for more conversations like this one.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: [email protected].

This episode includes AI-generated content.

Have you ever eaten the metaphorical marshmallow and quietly decided it meant something about who you are? The marshmallow test is one of the most cited studies in all of popular psychology, and for decades it has been used to separate people into two types. If the conditions around you shifted tomorrow, which choices of yours might quietly shift too? The gap between what this study claimed and what it actually showed turns out to be enormous.

This episode explores what the original researchers were really trying to understand, how a modest lab finding became a cultural verdict on character, and what a much larger and more rigorous follow up revealed about willpower versus environment. It looks at the ethics of the original setup, the problem with the sample, and the corrective research that reframed everything. The evidence here comes from decades of real studies, including a landmark replication that changed how researchers think about self control and circumstance. What you take away is a different way of reading your own behavior, one that asks about conditions first and character second.

If this episode made you think about a time when your circumstances changed your choices, share your answer with someone who would relate, and follow along so you catch what comes next.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: [email protected].

This episode includes AI-generated content.

You finish something and immediately start scanning it for flaws. You leave projects in draft for weeks, not because they need more work, but because finishing means someone might judge them. Perfectionism is one of the most misunderstood traits in everyday life, and this episode is about what it actually is underneath the drive and the discipline. Is perfectionism really about high standards, or is it a protection strategy that has quietly taken over?

This episode moves through the psychology of how perfectionism forms and why it becomes self-sustaining, what separates a useful standard from a trap, and what the cost looks like in real, countable terms. It explores how avoidance, rumination, and the inability to feel done show up even when the work is genuinely good, and what it takes to begin loosening the grip without abandoning the care. Research on contingent self-worth, reinforcement, and coping gives the framework, while lived experience gives it weight.

What is one thing you have been putting off because it will not be perfect? Share your answer and follow so the next episode finds you.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: [email protected].

This episode includes AI-generated content.

You set high standards, work harder than most, and still can't shake the feeling that it's never quite enough. That pattern has a name, and it's worth understanding where it actually comes from and what it's quietly costing you. Is perfectionism really about quality, or is it about something else entirely?

This episode explores how perfectionism shows up in work, relationships, and private self-talk, and why it so often gets mistaken for ambition. It looks at the psychological roots of the pattern, why it feels like part of your identity, and what keeps it locked in place long after it stops being useful. Research on contingent self-worth, self-compassion, and fixed mindset frames the conversation, and four concrete practices offer a way to start loosening the grip without abandoning your standards.

Think about one thing you're currently avoiding because it won't be perfect enough. Share your answer with someone who would get it, and follow along so the next episode finds you.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: [email protected].

This episode includes AI-generated content.

You are tired in a way that a good night of sleep does not seem to fix, and somewhere underneath the exhaustion there is a quiet suspicion that you went wrong somewhere. Burnout is one of the most talked about and least honestly described experiences in working life. The real question is not whether you pushed too hard but what the pushing was actually telling you.

This episode works through six real mistakes tied to burnout, from treating exhaustion as something to push through, to letting a job title become the whole answer to who you are, to only talking about it with people who were equally underwater. It explores what happens when rest becomes a reward you never quite earn, why the people closest to your situation are sometimes the least able to help you see it, and what it actually means to recover rather than just return. Research on occupational burnout, psychological detachment and social support shapes the conversation, without turning it into a lecture.

Think of one mistake from a period when you were running on empty. What was it actually trying to tell you? Share your answer and follow along so you catch the next one.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: [email protected].

This episode includes AI-generated content.

That low, persistent knot in your stomach when you think about money, even when nothing is technically wrong, is more common than anyone admits. Money anxiety is rarely about the number in your account. It's about the small daily rituals through which you pay attention to your finances, and whether those rituals are quietly making things worse. So what if the habits you've built around money are the very thing keeping the dread alive?

This episode explores why checking your balance on your own terms changes how safe money feels, how a single index card can quiet two-in-the-morning mental arithmetic, and why reading financial news before bed might be the least responsible thing you do. It looks at how secrecy feeds financial shame, what automation actually fixes and what it doesn't, and how a one-sentence plan written on a sticky note can interrupt a panic spiral faster than any app. The evidence comes from behavioral research, real conversations, and the kind of small experiments that are almost embarrassingly easy to try.

What's the one small money habit you have right now that you suspect is feeding your anxiety rather than calming it? Follow so you don't miss what's next.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: [email protected].

This episode includes AI-generated content.

You spend hours turning the same questions over, convinced that more thinking will eventually produce the clarity you need. Overthinking is one of the quietest ways anxiety takes up space in a life, and this episode asks why the loop keeps running even when it is clearly not working. What is the difference between thinking that is actually moving and thinking that is just keeping you company while you wait?

This episode explores what overthinking actually is underneath its useful-sounding surface, what it costs in ways that are harder to see than lost sleep, and what it actually takes to step out of the loop without simply forcing yourself to stop. The conversation draws on lived experience and behavioral research to examine why the habit persists, what it quietly takes from the people and moments around you, and what a different relationship with your own thoughts might feel like in practice.

What is the question you have been thinking about so long you cannot remember life before it? Share it, and follow along so the next episode finds you.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: [email protected].

This episode includes AI-generated content.

You've felt it before: a message left on read, an invitation that never came, a conversation that ended wrong. The pain that follows can feel embarrassingly intense for something invisible. This episode is about why rejection genuinely hurts, not as a figure of speech but as a neurological event. What actually happens in the brain when someone excludes us, and why does the intensity so often catch us off guard?

We explore why the brain uses the same alarm system for social and physical pain, what evolutionary history has to do with how urgently we need to belong, why some people feel rejection more sharply than others, and what the language we already use reveals about how the body registers all of this. The approach draws on decades of neuroscience and social psychology research to trace the mechanism from the brain to daily life. By the end, you'll have a clearer picture of why this pain is real, where it comes from, and what you can actually do when it arrives.

What's the smallest rejection you remember that hurt more than you expected? Tell us in the comments, and follow along so you don't miss what's coming next.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: [email protected].

This episode includes AI-generated content.