PUSHINGit

This week we're talking all about BIrth Plans or as we like to affectionately call them... Birth Preferences or Birth Wish Lists.

We know these are all just words used to define the same basic idea. But we're also aware that as we put lots of energy into an idea, it becomes more challenging to process a plan that doesn't go exactly as we'd imagined.

So tune in to hear more about what to include, ideal length, important information to gather so you feel empowered in your decisions, The F word… Flexibility! as you’ve heard us say often there are 2 people involved in this process of birth- the birthing person and the baby,and last but not least BRAIN... (hint, it's an acronym not a body party).

And will Alise and Jen make it through snowpocalypse 2019?! Tune in to find out

There's no avoiding mommy guilt! It starts when we see the double pink lines and never ends. This week we are normalizing mom guilt and how every mom feels it. From our choices around work, food and how we raise our kids, mom guilt is all around us. How do we stop the guilt train and feel confident in our parenting choices?

Jen and Alise have a good laugh at how far down the rabbit hole we can go with the feelings of guilt and even shame around parenting. They discuss their favorite, hilarious examples you may have seen in the movies. Alise tells how her funny story of comparing herself to Jen and feeling guilt for her parenting choices. Jen confesses to making expire and rotting food into an envy worthy breakfast. The two have a great laugh at how sometimes things look better from the outside but when we get a big picture look, we are all just trying our best.

It’s the new year so of course there’s all kinds of attention put on New Year’s resolutions and a huge focus on dieting.. What does this look like for you in pregnancy?  How does all this talk about diet and weight loss land when your pregnant and you’re using calories to grow a human being?  This week we are discussing diet culture and how that plays a role in pregnancy, disordered eating, body image, expectations and loss of control.

Pregnancy is tough on us Type A folks who always want to know, control and plan for every scenario. Beyond not knowing what labor and raising a child will look like, you have a body that belong to a tiny person for roughly 40 weeks. From how you carry your baby on the inside, to hips that are done with their work day before you clock out, your body isn’t just for you anymore.

It’s easy to begin this journey with high hopes of only wanting to feast on organic salads for nine months and count on “bouncing back”. We know all too well of so many well meaning parents who could only stomach french fries and mid day naps for weeks on end.

At times, this all piles up and feels like too much. The diet culture and pressure to look like the cover of a pregnancy magazine weighs heavy and you begin to feel that shame, blame or guilt.

This week we are  saying no to pregnancy body shaming that we do to ourselves. We’ve got encouragement on how to find balance and peace through the challenges of growing another human. 

So what does this AF term actually mean?!? Jen researches and gives you insight. We’ve done the work for you! Hint… it’s not a polite word. In fact the acronym should not be used in a Professional situation. 😊

We’ll give you examples of what it’s like to be Pregnant AF. In fact it’s “discomfortable!”

You’re in the final countdown. These are the last days, How do you survive when its hard to move, you have to pee all the time, there’s no room for food and you cramp every night?

So Pregnant AF is middle earth - it’s the weird place between growing a baby and being in labor.

You got this! No one is pregnant forever. We see you and we get you!

Teaching point: sometimes labor doesn’t keep going. Normalize that sometimes contractions don’t get longer, stronger, and closer together. They go away. No one on earth can foresee if labor will progress…. Time will tell if labor progresses.

You might still be working.Even your maternity clothes don’t fit. If one more person at the store asks when you are due…%*%&!!!!!! “Enjoy the last days of being two before you become three”. 

So how do we handle pregnant AF? Stay distracted! Pedicure, rest- nap practice, date nights, Don’t focus on the days that pass just like you won’t focus on the contractions that pass

Create your space. Start a tv series.What can you during this time that you can’t do as a new family of 3? Begin a project that isn’t baby related.Go antiquing.Write a book or journal.Write thank you notes- pre write thank yous for meals

Sometimes it looks like getting your head in the game, or back in the game if you feel like you're loosing it a little. It's like being a boxer before a fight, sweat dripping, bouncing up and down, gloves  knocking together as they anticipate getting through just one round. You may not know how the hell you got to this place in labor or how you'll get to the next but you pull your sh*t together and dig deep. 

Jen and Alise are talking all about those moments in labor when you need to find a strength you didn't know you had. Sometimes it's about labor pain and sometimes it's about making choices around your birth. They are giving wise words on how to cope through and navigate those moments and even leave you with their own words that you can play in your labor. 

Jen and Alise get to chat with Amanda in the cutest nursery in the world. Amanda shares her story of how she navigated her labor so that she could have the birth she had always wanted, despite things starting off different from the plan. When she woke to her water breaking, she was prepared to advocate and ask for what she wanted for her birth. She tells how she chose what mattered the most to her and what she was prepared to let go of if she needed to. Hear how she went within and found her rhythm, worked through challenging position changes and managed through back labor.

Hear how life has been since baby Wilder has joined her family. Don't miss when Amanda offers great advice for parents-to-be. 

Revisit one of our first but favorite episodes of season 1 where Jen and Alise discuss the taboo topic of pooping in labor. Everyone wants to know but nobody wants to ask. What's the deal with it? Does everyone really poop in labor? Jen and Alise share their own personal stories of their births. Jen gave birth before ever attending births professionally and ever knowing about poop in labor and Alise had been to 100 births before having her own. How did these experiences influence their own views? Get a detailed and humorous understanding of why pooping in labor is a great sign that your baby is coming and you're doing all the right things!

This is birth porn. This is the birth version of  only showing the world large breasts with large nipples and “perfect” bodies. 

This is a realistic view but only a snapshot. This isn’t a big picture view. This is another form of mom guilt. You get 40 weeks to do “it all”. How do you live in the moment and stay authentic to who you are and what you want?

This doesn’t only apply to birth. This also applies to pregnancy. In early pregnancy when you are feeling sluggish and it feels hard to get out of bed, t can be so hard to see #nurserygoals or elaborate babymoons. 

Some women feel depressed during pregnancy or feel sick during their whole pregnancy. If you’re on bedrest through most of your pregnancy or even most of your final trimester, we see you. You aren’t likely to have an elaborate gender reveal. 

Let’s also fast forward to postpartum. You may not look like the person in the newborn and family photos. We are actually hoping that you aren’t bouncing back. You might be struggling with mood and social media may be a lifeline or make you feel more isolated.

Decide what feels better. Use social where it feels right.

In the same way that a Playboy photo is a photo of a real woman but photoshopped, background changed, details rearranged… social media is a form of birth porn. We get a tiny glimpse of what someone wants to show of their pregnancy, birth or postpartum. Like pornography, this can lead to feelings of inadequacy, guilt, depression, feeling less than or a variety of other emotions, including anger. All of these stages around having a baby are often out of our control.

How to survive the holidays while pregnant

• Find comfortable clothes for holiday parties. - can rewear in labor!
• Fun mocktails (especially if you aren’t sharing your pregnancy yet)
  • https://coleycooks.com/cran-clem/
  • https://www.pinterest.com/pin/152066924904030011/feedback/?invite_code=93125df76bc445d0bfe9291eecfef857&sender_id=2880898448
• Comfortable shoes
• Call it an early night
• Pick and choose your events
• Skip soft cheeses and deli meats especially when eating out
• Have some great excuses on hand for getting out of events you want to miss
  • Rudolph ate my car keys
  • Just waiting on UPS
  • I have a date with my fuzzy blanket
  • I’m currently dreaming of a white christmas

What to say if your water breaks at a holiday party?

-"No, I'm not having baby Jesus!"

-"Looks like Santa is bringing me something today. At least it’s not coming out the chimney"

-"I guess that sleigh ride really helped move things along!"

Holiday wish list

-pregnancy/nursing pajamas

-birth gown

-birth ball

- water bottle with straw

- crock pot/instant pot

-labor socks

- dry shampoo

- birth bag

-lavendar pillow

-scarves

-jewelry

Holiday play list

-Baby it’s cold outside

-Merry Christmas Baby- Christina Aguilera

There's a lot to know when it comes to getting a baby out! This week we are discussing hormones and how to find your rhythm. Labor isn't the time to freak out and scream with adrenaline. How do you know what to do instead? Don't panic now or in labor. Jen and Alise have lots of tips to get you through.

 Make your labor hormones work for you. There are three major players when it comes to labor hormones. First up is oxytocin. Oxytocin is the love hormone! It's primary role in labor is to bring on contractions so be sure to bring on the oxytocin. Ways to encourage oxytocin include feeling loved, safe and supported.  Endorphins are another major player in labor because they take the laboring person out of their brain and bring them into their body. It also allows you to fall asleep in labor (WHAT??) and even provides some pain relief. Last up, we've got adrenaline who comes in right in time to push. Not only does it give you strength push (just when you thought when you wouldn't have the energy) but adrenaline also passes the placenta and goes to baby to help baby take that first breath!

Now to get the oxytocin and endorphins flowing nicely, layer all the support, labor coping techniques and flood the senses. It's time to confuse your brain and your pain receptors. Massage, dim lights, music, essential oils, words of encouragement.. the list could go on forever. The goal is to find a rhythm that feels safe and reliable when everything else unknown.

Gone are the days of the old school hee-hee-haw breathing, but focusing on your breath is still just as important. Slow and focused breathing is the way to go. In fact, your breath can even be your rhythm. 

This week is all about how to take of these tip and put them together for a more positive experience during active labor. We don't promise comfort but you can find a way to cope and find your groove to get through labor.