PUSHINGit

This week Alise talks with Isabelle as she describes her birth experience. She explains, as a driven busy professional,how she prepared for birth, the challenges of back labor and how she found strength in being flexible with her birth plans.  "I thought birth was just going to be this physical feat I was going to do..... but it was the most empowered experience of my life". She navigated position changes for hours trying to change baby's position and ultimately found that an epidural was what would bring her rest and help bring her baby out. In her experience, fear in childbirth is talked about often. By telling her story she wants to assure and inspire others that a birth can go well and be empowering even if it's not your plan. Tune in to hear her tips for birth and postpartum. 

Part 1: Let’s Get Physical

What's the "411" on active labor? In fact, we can get the impression that having contractions every 4 minutes, that last for a minute long, and this pattern has been happening for an hour or more automatically means you're in active labor.  There’s so much more to knowing you’re in active labor. Don’t worry! Most babies don’t fall out. If yours does, congrats, that was a super efficient birth! Pay attention to the timing but also the shift that has happen. Are you, or the laboring person, focusing inward, serious, making moaning sounds and suddenly resting between contractions? Sounds like things are getting real. Partners, your jokes often stop being funny right now and it might take you a moment to figure this out. That’s okay as long as comedy wasn’t your distraction plan for your whole labor.

Everyone talks about movement and position changes during labor but we get the feeling that it's all about comfort. Not true! You're baby is like a key trying to fit into a lock and needs space to turn and get a good fit. The more you move and open your pelvis, the easier it is for baby to do this.

Some great positions are exhausting like lunges and squats, while others can provide rest. What’s most important is that you are moving. Nobody should stay in one spot for too long at all. We promise, labor is not supposed to feel like a workout class but it's also not about laying in bed surrounded by glowing candles.  

Consider getting an exercise ball to use during labor. We talk about ways to use it and you'll even find uses after baby arrives. We're not recommending lunges the whole time. We want you to rest, but be sure to get up and change positions, even if you don't want to!

Come back next week for part 2! We'll be talking all about comfort!

First trimester- Rest, get through! You'll probably be really tired, possibly feeling sick, and just plain not feel well. You may need to make excuses for not showing up at events or sneaking out of happy hour early. You may or may not eat well (concentrate on eating protein rich foods when able as this can help regulate your blood sugar and keep nausea at by). Forgive yourself, you've got lots of time to eat fresh fruits and veggies. You may or may not feel excited. Practice self acceptance. Get some comfy clothes- beer belly more than pregnant belly. Decide who you want to tell.

Second Trimester- Get some books on birth. You don't have to buy 10 or read them all just yet. This is about taking a look at different birthing philosophies and seeing what resonates with you , Decide if you want a doula and begin interviewing a few and then hire the doula for your birth. Sign up for your birth class. Classes typically fill up fast. Don't wait too long on this one.  Think about maternity leave and decide what you can take off after baby arrives . Plan a baby moon or a staycation. You are finally feeling better. Have fun and enjoy feeling better!

For a fun babymoon getaway, check out outdoorsy. Go to pushingitpodcast.com and follow the link on our site. 

Third Trimester

In the first half of the thirst trimester, focus on checking off the rest of the to-do list. Meet with your doula, write birth plan, plan for your birth space. Start to think about what you need to prepare for postpartum. It's no time to attend those birth classes. Reach out and connect with the other people in those classes.  They will be going through life with a baby, a kid and even a teenager at the same time as you. Finish up your baby space and enjoy that nesting urge if you have it. In just a few weeks you may be too tired to nest.

In the last part of the third trimester it's all about self care, nap practice and partner attachment. Go out on dates and enjoy time as two. Put away books. Know that you've done your homework and prepared. Trust this process, your birth team and especially your body!

Why do babies need all this stuff? Believe it or not, sooner or later you’ll need to pee, take a shower, eat or even do a load of laundry. In the first weeks babies do sleep a lot but eventually they start to wake up and you’ll need a place to put your baby. This week we are talking about gear that will make your life easier and get you a little more hands-free time, a little more sleep and maybe even a meal while it's still hot

• Fourth trimester theory! Babies often need another three months in the womb. Ideally, you can recreate another trimester by shushing, moving, sucking… this can be done by you doing all of these things all of the time, or you can call in a little help from some devices.

       Carriers
       Bouncers/Swings
       Pacifiers
       Swaddle blankets (velcro) / or Swaddle sack, blankets

• Your baby’s birthday suit is going to need a few bodysuits! 

       Pajamas/Sleepwear- 5
       Onesies- so many! 5+ How much laundry do you want to do?
       Socks
       Hats
       Pants

• Carrying devices

     We love soft sided or soft structure carriers and stretchy carriers like Ergo, Baby K’tan, Tula, or Moby wrap. You            can use YouTube to figure them out. They may appear really overwhelming at first but they get easier over time. 

• A Stroller

      What’s your lifestyle? Figure out what your needs are. Do you have a large or small car or will you be slinging this         folded stroller over your shoulder while you get on public transportation?  The reality is you may need to buy a               couple strollers. Most people find that they need one for the baby car seat and then need another as their baby             grows and they get out and about more often.

• Diapers  What are you going to use? Cloth or disposable. Something on each floor (a cute basket with a few diapers, wipes, a blanket, spit up cloth. Changing table- Use the top of a dresser if you’re minimal. Or use a receiving blanket / changing pad stored under a couch, etc. How much of a setup do you need for changing a diaper? 

• Bathtub- Is it really necessary? If you don't have space to store a tub, what are the alternatives in your household? We recommend using a sink or just the big tub. You can also go in the tub with baby.

• Nursing stations- Creating a spot in your house that feels like a great place for feeding your baby if you are planning to breastfeed. This can be a nursing a chair or a spot on the couch. This spot should be stocked with appropriate pillows, a glass of water, one handed snacks, burp rags and entertainment in case you get trapped under a sleeping baby

You're the mama now! Jen and Alise give you some encouragement and tips on how to set boundaries with family that may have expectations on the way you might parent or birth. Don't feel forced to do things the way they've always been done. Setting clear boundaries and having hard conversations early on will often make moving forward as a parent easier on your relationships.

1. Get on the same page with your partner- parents on the same page are able to come together stronger and create stronger boundaries and hold up those boundaries. Clearly define what your rules, expectations and parenting style looks like.  If you are anti “Daddy’s Princess” clothing and partner isn’t it will be hard to come together and communicate that to your family and friends.

2. Communicate your needs clearly with friends and family- This isn’t about coming off as the boss and demanding things from kind and willing help. This is about saying, if you want to visit, we would love to have you plan your stay after we’ve had a few days to bond or we won’t be able to take you sightseeing…We will need lots of help and any help you can provide is appreciated. 

3. Stand strong and firm- Hold your head up high and know that you are meeting your needs. Healing, eating, rest, feeding your baby… Visitors need to go, you need to rest not show out-of-town family around the city, it’s okay for them to visit without coffee and you get to hold your own baby. It’s hard to set these boundaries. They are new for you and that’s ok. They get easier.

4. Trust your instincts – You get to let your instincts guide you in parenthood. It may look the same as how your parents parented or how your in-laws parented, or the exact opposite. There is a right way for your family and when you dial in to what feels right in your gut or your heart, you will know.

5. Your rules can change anytime you want- We were are better parents before having kids. It’s ok to lay down the law about TV or wooden toys and then change the rule when you want. It’s ok to say you don’t want visitors in baby’ first week and then suddenly realize that you need someone to make food and do your laundry. It’s a parenting style not a contract.

P.S. Put your clothes in the dryer. You're welcome.

Last week we discussed 10 things that might make you say "Whoa, did that just come out of me", this week we have another 10. This list is a little different as we touch on the emotion and perhaps more vocal side of birth. You might be surprised at some of the things that come out of you.

This week we are leaving the liquids behind and getting down to the tears and the swear words that might start coming out and all of the surprising emotions. Jen and Alise will discuss how to work through all the various emotions that come up at time through labor.

Jen also has a minor fashion issue and may just start a new mom trend of the messy, greasy bun.  Find out how Jen rocks her new bun style and her salad dressing on her shirt.

10 things that will come out of your body during labor and birth that will make you say, "whoa, did that just come out of me".  Birth, like parenthood,  can be messy. Don't get caught by surprise. Everyone knows there's a little blood sweat and tears in birth but what about all the other things that come out of your body?  And it's not all lists, Jen and Alise have a messy parenthood story contest between themselves. Alise's kids may have fleas. The doulas have the old debate, adult diaper vs thong underwear in labor. 

You've got the power! In fact, it's been there all along my dear, and we will help you find it. Maybe you need a cape, some red lipstick or a really solid birth plan. No matter what calls to you or what type of birth you want, you can always find your power. 

Jen and Alise offer useful tips for finding your power and helping you prepare for feeling powerful in labor, way before labor ever begins. It's never to earl to begin. From educating yourself to preparing yourself, you will find several ways that speak to your birthing style.

Don't miss out on more of Jen's sound effects and 90's flash back songs. Alise also talks about where she really wishes she could birth. Chances are, she's not alone.

You've heard the saying, "it takes a village to raise a baby". Now if only that village knew how to support new parents and new parents felt comfortable asking for help. Jen & Alise will help you make the most of your village and your help. Don't get caught hosting visitors after having a baby. Learn helpful tips to maximize support before and after baby arrives. This week is all about creating a village so you can heal your body and bond with baby, not worry about dishes and dinner.