Pynk Spots

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Today I slip into some good 'ol unsolicited advice inspired by recent conversations with other disabled, neurodivergent, and anxious comrades around the topic of productivity.

I give my perspective on "productivity" as an inherently violent capitalist concept and then dive deep into some tips on how I manage to get things done while experiencing near-constant pain, fatigue, and low executive function.

Thomas Merton Quote:
"To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything, is to succumb to violence. The frenzy of our activism neutralizes our work for peace. It destroys our own inner capacity for peace. It destroys the fruitfulness of our own work, because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful."

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If you have a question for the show, please send it to the show name at gmail dot com or via any of the social media links below!
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I am joined by my friend Everett (they/them) to answer this week's question, using it as an excuse to talk about gender, queering, and heterosexualizing. 

Question from Mohera: 

I was watching TikTok and there’s a trans man I follow who put up a video about girls asking him if they are still straight if they date him. He said, “of course you are, I’m a man! Trans men are men!” 

I totally get what he’s saying but after everything you’ve talked about with queerness, I had some questions about this. I don’t want to be problematic so I’d like to hear what you think. 

While I 100% agree that trans men are men, it seems weird to me to act like a relationship with a trans man would be exactly the same as with a cis man. I think it would be a lot different to date someone who had had some of the same experiences as me and could relate to me better on those levels, and who had different life experiences from that of a cis man. It seems weird to just brush that off as the same exact thing and move on. What do you think?

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If you have a question for the show, please send it to the show name at gmail dot com or via any of the social media links below!
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Today's question comes from Valerie via Instagram:

I have a random question. This morning I was doing some overthinking (as per usual) and I remembered an episode where you discussed that when you were interested in someone you’d stare at them. I always thought I was the only one who did this and I was wondering what steps you might’ve taken to overcome this?

I answer Valerie's question in my typical roundabout way, first delving into why we may find it hard to stop staring at a crush, what makes staring so irresistible in the first place, and then tips on how to stop. I incorporate, as always, my autistic, neurodivergent perspective on this topic.

Resources

• Love, Actually: The science behind lust, attraction, and companionship (Harvard)
• What the ADHD Brain Wants, And Why (Dr. Ellen Littman)
• Blinded By Love: The Neuroscience of Crushes, Obsessions, and Rejection (Julia Ravey Science)

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If you have a question for the show, please send it to the show name at gmail dot com or via any of the social media links below!
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Nic is joined today by comrade Pearson Bolt from Coffee with Comrades to answer a listener question:

"Do you have any tips for being shy and/or introverted and having a public platform (live streaming, podcasting, etc.)?"

Follow/Support Pearson: Twitter |  Patreon | Website
Channel Zero Anarchist Podcast Network

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My friend, Hilary, and I talk about friendships as adults, and how awful friendship breakups are. 

We also talk a bit about the tattoo industry near the end of the episode and go more in-depth into it during the after-party so if you liked that part of the conversation, you can hear it continue over on YouTube!

Follow Hilary on Instagram:

• Bliss Tattoo 
• Hilary Shelby 

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Today I am flying solo for my first Pynk Spots advice episode! I answer a question from Anonymous (she/her):

My depression and anxiety have been exacerbated by quarantine. I’ve heard disassociating and disassociation in mental health communities but haven’t researched it much. 

In a conversation with a friend, I mentioned that I have been having a hard time and feel like I’ve been disassociating. She immediately told me that is not a term I should use for ‘zoning out’ (not what I said) because it’s a mental health condition that her sister has and it’s really serious and scary.

I thought it was a broader term than the symptoms she described that her sister has so now I’m confused, and I’m also hurt that she felt the need to jump in and focus on that instead of being with me in a vulnerable moment. I often feel like a ghost when I’m alone for an extended period of time, or when I’m feeling very depressed I find myself disconnecting from how my body feels.

I know you have talked about disassociating before and was wondering if you would be comfortable talking about your experiences and help me to understand if this is what is happening to me, as I don’t want to appropriate the term if it’s not. Also, am I right in feeling hurt about my friend taking that time to have an educational moment with me?

We dig deep on disassociation, what it is and what it looks like, what causes us to disassociate, and I give a lot of personal testimony along the way.

Resources

• Dr. Devon Price's Essay "Therapy Isn't For Everyone" (Medium.com)
• Dissociation and dissociative disorders (mind.org.uk) 
• Dissociation And Dissociative Disorders (Mental Health America)
• Dissociation FAQs (International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation)

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An episode five years in the making, today I'm joined by THE Christopher Sebastian McJetters to talk about being squishy humans in activist spaces that can often feel unsafe and aggressive. We get petty about being "canceled" and try to work our way through how we can talk about the issues without thwarting the efforts of the people who created tools like canceling to fight back against oppressive forces.

Follow Christopher Sebastian:
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NOTE: The audio is pretty shit on this one, I did the best I could with it but it's still pretty crap. If it's too much, it may be easier to watch the YouTube version because it might sound a little better, and also the visuals help.

I'm joined today by my honorary daughter and STEM badass (double-majoring in chemical engineering and math, thankyouverymuch) Mohera, who is here to talk about her experiences as a woman of color specializing in a white male-dominated field, as an anti-capitalist navigating the corporate atmosphere of college life, how COVID impacted her thoughts about "grind culture," and what actions she has taken to decolonize the spaces around her.

NOTE: We have a list of potential content warnings in the beginning but we didn't really touch on any of those topics besides the general experience of systemic oppression and very high-level descriptions of mental and physical health issues due to stress, FYI.

Follow Mohera: Twitter | Instagram | TikTok | Portfolio

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I sit down with Claire (aka Professor Flowers, now goes by Lua) to talk about the need for community, the fallacy of the "lone wolf" mentality that we both have operated under for years, and her plan to run away in an RV.

Follow Professor Flowers: YouTube | Twitter

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