No Uber, No Lyft? Then walk your drunk ass home and reap the benefits! Playing guitars and dreamscaping dream guitars! QMBY!!

My Spokane surprise overnight jaunt story! Venmo is not the same as BevMo. If you want to send someone a cup then use BevMo. Today’s episode is not sponsored by BevMo. QMBY!!

Holograms on tour, what? Tekashi Six Nine, no relation to Brooklyn Nine Nine, to duet with Sinatra, what? Beto Veto!!! QMBY!

Chorizo!! Choritho? Let’s get down to the bottom of this! Defrag your brain by writing your thoughts and concerns on paper. Word on the street is that it works. I’m really trying to keep my phone at arms length because I don’t think I really need to know all that stuff. "Get on that shit," Beto!

Sir Mix A Lot is Sprung and so are we here in Portland! Land Lines! Are you keeping tabs on what you’re eating? Breakfast is probably my favorite meal but I never eat it. Swedish Fish!! QMBY!!

Spring is here! Someone needs to cut the nuts of Clifford the Big Red Dog before he dry humps another national monument or architectural treasure into oblivion! QMBY!

A water main burst in NE Portland and so did a blood vessel in my nose. Film at 11. The kids and I got some paletas and they were delicious. I miss Dick Cavett. QMBY!

The Ides of March Episode! The new Tesla Model Y is S3XY! Is Drakkar Noir making a comeback? It’s up to you! QMBY!

Gary Cole is an American Gem! Adult Swim is an American Gem! New York City is an American Gem! QMBY is an American Gem!

The ‘Ol Schnitzel pig out story. Everyone has one. This is mine. All you can eat is all you can eat. Stirring the pot on social media is scary. QMBY!!