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Brian shares his highly aggressive tax strategies, including imaginary dependents, an F-16 deduction, and an elaborate attempt to convince the IRS that Auschwitz had reopened. Jack then struggles through three increasingly grim obituary readings before revisiting Brian's rejected 1980s advertising campaigns for Cabbage Patch Kids, cocaine, Life Cereal, and the Rubik's Cube—including the unforgettable slogan, "Everyone Loves a Vegetable."
Jack and Brian open with their trademark banter riffing on the episode's tongue-in-cheek title: everyone claims to love vegetables, but nobody really does—setting a playful, satirical tone.
From there, they launch into "Senator Quackers", a political send-up where Jack embodies an absurd candidate (presumably a duck), delivering a humorous yet pointed take on modern election theatrics.
That segues into an audio skit—an imaginative reading called "Biding Time with Biden"—featuring Kamala Harris, layered with surreal commentary in Brian and Jack's signature smart-dumb style.
Next, they shift into a nostalgic — and wildly entertaining — deep dive into 1980s MTV nostalgia, celebrating icons like Martha Quinn and Downtown Julie Brown. They riff on how MTV shaped pop culture, playfully contrasting then and now.
Mid-episode, Brian dissects quirky cultural phenomenon by exploring the "hidden stories" behind famous song characters—offbeat anecdotes that latch into the episode's quirky intellectual vibe.
They then "travel" to Italy, poking fun at Tuscan reds and rolling their eyes at overhyped travel platforms—Airbnb versus "DrinkStay"—injecting snarky takes on contemporary vacation clichés .
Later, Jack hits his comedic stride with the improvised book-pitch bonanza, tossing out ludicrous titles (A Treatise on Gravity by Jasmine Crockett, What by Joe Biden, etc.) with deadpan precision—one of the funniest highlights of the show.
To close, they deliver a nostalgic salute to Nina Blackwood, wrapping up the episode with that classic affectionate-yet-absurd homage to '80s pop culture .
qmpodcast.com
Brian doesn't need pockets. Naked people and a dog in the woods. Jack auditions for "Race for the Presidency." James Corden and crew hid Biden's mental decline. How to trick crocodiles. Jack auditions for "Sherlock's Legacy." Brian was tasked with rehabilitating plastic-polluter Coke's reputation. Timely Shirley MacLaine reference. Jack auditions for "Untitled Zombie Movie."
Brian was a Swallow Scout. Another dead friend. Jack reads for a talking mime. Wilton CT Public Schools love social justice, but not really English. Jack's wife's up to no good. Jack reads for Wild Turkey. Brian talk about his rejected ad campaigns. Jack reads for Kensignton Organic Markets. qmpodcast.com
Jack reads for the Taylor Lorenz audiobook. Brian went on a tornado and flood adventure in rural Dixie. Slugburgers. Jack Junior is an umpire and needs tips. Jack reads for the Lauren Sanchez audiobook. Brian interned for the KGB and was paid in prostitutes. Jack reads for the Body Works School Textbook. qmpodcast.com
Biden campaign revelations from Fight, the book. Brian has too many dead friends. George Lowe's "Medieval World." Brian's to-do list. Secret Gay Cruising Club signal. Welcome Rockets. George Lowe's "Roadway Package Systems." Heightening. Lou Gherig's Uncle's Disease. Jack dreams of Brian. April Fool's Jokes. George Lowe's "Num Num." qmpodcast.com
Brian thinks GTA V has bugs. Jack reads The Real History of World War II by Daryl Cooper. Potential Marine is a wine thief. Speaking Tanya Hardingese. Jack reads Dolly Parton's memoir. A lump on the thyroid. An overly-thorough dentist. Possessing Lena Dunham antibodies. Jack reads Bouncy the Bunny.
Jack tries to land sponsor Everything You Want To Know About Fran Drescher. Jack hurt his brain a lot. RIP longtime pal George "Space Ghost" Lowe. Brian helps people with dementia. Jack tries to land sponsor Madeline Albright. Jack tries to land sponsor Splax. qmpodcast.com
An interview with two of the guys from DOGE. A very special time with Andrew Heaton, author of Tribalism Is Dumb: Where it Came From, How It Got So Bad and What to do About It. https://amzn.to/4bUFDxJ
Jack auditions for Century 22. Jack's wife is a nervous host. Brian's wife has expectations. Joe Biden's talent agent. Jack auditions for Aristartled. The new Captain America. Jack auditions for Allahu Akhbar.
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