We covered some things I WISH I had known when I first started working. It would have saved me a lot of stress.

Brandon Mahoney’s opening volley was that you should assume you are there as the expert. They hired you because they need someone to do something. Exactly what that something is might be up to you to define because you bring knowledge and skills the organization didn’t have before.

Dr. Rhonda Bompensa-Zimmerman added that you have to bring curiosity, particularly if you are brought into a situation of change or flux. Talk to your coworkers. Try to understand the culture and how the organization functions. Recognize that you don’t know what you don’t know and might not even know what to ask.

Joe Pici agreed with being curious, adding that he doesn’t do anything without understanding scope. He is going to come in with a lot of questions about the project, the role, how success will be measured, results, timelines. Once he has that, his expertise and knowledge can shine and he can be creative about how he gets things done.

There have certainly been times in my life where the role I was filling was not clear and then I was told I was not performing – performing to what metric? What were they measuring? (I wish I would have asked rather than just accepting their opinion).

What has worked for you when responsibilities aren’t clear? What have you done that has worked or not worked?

Connect with the panelists:

Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/

Co-Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup

Joe Pici: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joepici/

He is a speaker, coach and strategist specializing in results driven sales training for top sales professionals

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

This was a deep and insightful conversation with three guys who innately have an interest in how we interact as humans. We covered a lot in ten minutes and I would love to hear your (the viewer/listener) thoughts and responses.

Stewart Wiggins started this conversation by posing a different question: why are there so many bad leaders out there or bad managers?

Is the reason there are so many bad leaders because leadership training is trying to teach emotional intelligence and it’s not something you can learn? Maybe you can learn the behaviors that align with emotional intelligence but going through those motions doesn’t mean you have become emotionally intelligent.

George Rotsch believes we are thinking about emotional intelligence wrong. He compared it to math skills. Some people are really good a math. Other people aren’t as good; it doesn’t come easily to them. They can learn math. They can get better at it than they might be naturally but they are never going to be as good at math as someone for whom it just makes sense.

George believes the same is true of emotional intelligence. If you aren’t good at it, you can get better but it unlikely to ever come naturally to you. He put it succinctly: “We can teach it. We should respect it as a gift.”

Justin Dorsey agrees saying there is a cynic in his brain that says, “If you don’t get it, you don’t get it.” And he has seen that in trying to teach EQ from an HR stand point. The people who need it the most never think they are they ones who need it.

What do you think? Can EQ be taught/learned or is it a pipe dream?

Connect with the panelists:

Justin Dorsey: https://www.linkedin.com/in/justin-dorsey-sphr/

Background in corporate HR as well as in consulting. He has a Passion for People.

Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

George Rotsch: https://www.linkedin.com/in/georgerotsch/

He is the director of communications for Delaware Live and a Communication consultant with clients across the country

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

Rick Alcantara started us off by sharing the multitude of ways he has been able to network virtually – associations, boards, Chamber of Commerce, chatting with friends and even doing Quick Hits is on the list.

Jim Tam reminded us that your network is your net-worth; which makes networking and staying in touch invaluable. To his point, if you are driving in your car, don’t waste that time listening to the radio. Make a call and have a conversation with someone to stay in touch.

Catherine Fitzgerald is self-professed to be compulsive about adding contacts to her phone along with notes about where they met and who they are. She also does a lot of introductions to help other people to connect.

That said, it is very easy to fill your calendar with meetings that you could call “networking” but have no actual value for you or the other person. One and done, you’ll never remember each other meetings are pointless.

I also tell a funny story at the end about the first time I asked Russ (my husband) to have coffee with me.

How do you stay in touch with people in the virtual world?

Connect with the panelists:

Is a writer, speaker, certified coach, and founder of Brass Tacks with Heart-executive coaching.  She helps founders, owners, and C-Suite Executives and their teams to build businesses that fuel their lives, not consume them.

Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/  

He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting

Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry’s Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

This is a conversation that needs to be had more often because I don’t think enough people understand how to use a calendar link without coming off as rude.

Steve Ramona started us off by saying you have to have a relationship first. Don’t just throw your link at people and expect them to book time with you.

Janice Dru-Bennett agreed and added that it depends on the relationship you have with the person. A good friend is likely to be put off if you send them your booking link.

She also brought up the great point of cancellations. If she uses your link to schedule and you cancel, it’s on you to reschedule. And if both send each other their link, who is it on to schedule?

Kevin Wash is old school. He doesn’t have a link and he doesn’t use them to schedule. If he can’t talk to the person he needs to meet with, or at least their assistant, there isn’t much point in setting up a meeting.

I would rather use someone else’s link because I don’t like random meetings all over my calendar. I want like meeting bunched together. And I think it is ridiculous when I go to schedule with someone and they have one slot six weeks from now. 

Connect with the panelists:

Global Sales Director at InPhone, a podcast coach and the host of the podcast, Doing Business with a Servant’s Heart. He is in California.

Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

Janice Dru-Bennett: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janicedru/

Building strategic partnerships for a health tech company and also an entrepreneur helping nonprofits and start-ups grow.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

Karen Loomis started us off with what that saying means at first blush – go as hard as you can and do all of the things. Hard driving, fast moving. All of it all of the time. Grab all the opportunities. But what if there aren’t opportunities to grab?

She added further into the conversation that it means letting go of your to-do list and doing the thing that is now or never.

Yonason Goldson said he used to be the kind of person who said no and then thought about the question. Then he realized he was missing out on things so he switched to saying yes and then thinking about it. That wasn’t the best option either. The ideal is somewhere in the middle.

Stewart Wiggins said he used to follow the “go forward as fast as you can, as hard as you can” idea of seizing the day. But now he has a more measured approach. Sometimes seizing the day means putting your feet up and letting the world happen around you.

I agree with all of those things. And I think there needs to be an addendum that says, “Do the things that make you happy and don’t feel guilty about it.”

What does it mean to you to “seize the day?”

Connect with the panelists:

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Karen Loomis: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kloomis/

Founder at No Moss Brands. 20 years as a marketing and branding professional. Adjunct professor at Grand Canyon University.  She is passionate about social change.    

Yonason Goldson: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yonason-goldson/

aka the Ethics Ninja and the Hitchhiking Rabbi, works with leaders to create a culture of ethics that earns trust, sparks initiative, and limits liability.  He is the award-winning podcast host of Grappling with the Gray and author of the book of the same name.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

Dr. Mohan Ananda started us off by saying there are two kinds of office politics. One that causes problems and for which the person doing it should be removed. Or two – the kind that causes competition and is okay.

I’m not 100% sure I agree with that. I’m not sure it can be defined as “office politics” if it is a good-natured rivalry – although to be fair I don’t think those are healthy in an organization either.

But Kaitlyn Niechwiadowicz agreed that office politics can be either positive or negative and the culture of an organization dictates which it is.

Joey Robert Parks looked it as a freelancer coming in from the outside. He has learned that it is important for him to listen and learn so he can adapt and flow with the existing office politics, even if he doesn’t really understand it.

Towards the middle of the conversation, I shared that I had worked in organizations where I felt like leadership had no idea that the office politics were as bad as they were.

All three panelists had an opinion about why that is and what should be done about it.

How do you define office politics and what has been your experience with it?

Connect with the panelists:

Is a 32-book author and ghostwriter and The Da Vinci of Writing. He can write in any style, genre, or topic, and make it sound natural, like he’s been an expert in it for decades.

Dr. Mohan Ananda: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mohanananda/

Scientist, lawyer, serial entrepreneur, and author of the book, Autobiography of an Immigrant. Which has been translated into multiple languages. He is passionate about helping people succeed in business

Kaitlyn Niechwiadowicz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kniechwiadowicz/

Senior Manager of Talent at Alkegen where she leads their global learning and talent management initiatives. She is passionate about helping individuals make an impact and exceed their potential.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

Asking someone for help shows vulnerability and trust. But what if you don’t ask. Instead, they offer. Does accepting that help create the same kind of connection? My experience says yes. I asked today’s panel why they thought that was the case.

Lisa McDonald started us off by talking about the safety that comes from connection and trust.

Dr Peter Economou added that we are communal beings and brought up the difference between how men and women ask for and accept help (ask for directions lately?).

And Laura Agafitei brought in our ability to grow and better ourselves by accepting help.

When I work with teams I will ask if anyone would feel put-upon if a teammate asked for help. The answer is universally no. But when I ask if they would ask a teammate for help, usually the answer is, “I don’t want to bother them.”

This conversation is a powerful look at how humans connect by supporting each other and I am really thankful that these three lovely humans helped me talk about it.

What does this question and our conversation bring up for you? Help me out by sharing in the comments.

Connect with the panelists:

Strategy and design Consultant for the health and wellness industry. Based in Dublin.

Lisa McDonald: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-k-mcdonald-executive-career-coach/

Founder of Career Polish where she is an specializes in career management and executive presence.

Dr Peter Economou: https://www.linkedin.com/in/peter-j-economou-4b4000a/

With a Ph.D. Counseling Psychology, he is an Executive Growth Consultant, Rutgers University Faculty member and the Director of Athletics Behavioral Health

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

Philip Tate wanted to hit lead-off on this one because he sees it as the ultimate communication question. You have to create an environment that encourages honest dialogue and ongoing conversations by asking open ended questions and being an active listener.

In a communication audit, you need to provide anonymity and confidentiality if you expect to learn the truth about a difficult topic.

Abby McCloskey agreed. You have to lay the groundwork for a good relationship if you want someone to be comfortable enough to share hard things with you. And when they do venture out to answer a tough question, it is on you, as the leader to receive it well. If you don’t really want to know and then do something with that information, don’t ask.

Michael Sicuranza agreed that it is easy to get defensive and forget about having compassion; remembering that the people who work for you have a fear of repercussions. If you are compassionate with giving them feedback, they will care enough about you to tell you the truth too.

I bundled it into creating a foundation of psychological safety BEFORE you expect someone to have a tough conversation with you. Without it, subordinates will hide bad news until it explodes.

This question is straightforward if you are a leader.

For those watching who aren’t leaders yet – what do you need to be willing to share a work thing that isn’t going well with your boss to warn them or maybe ask for help?

Connect with the panelists:

CEO of Affinity Wealth Management where they focus on helping small business and corporate executives make better choices with their money

Abby McCloskey: https://www.linkedin.com/in/abigail-mccloskey-cfp%C2%AE-clu%C2%AE-b8233a5/

Certified Financial planner helping people to live a fulfilled life

Philip Tate: https://www.linkedin.com/in/philiptateaprfellowprsa/

He is a communications consultant doing Brand Building | Strategic Communications and Marketing based in Charlotte NC

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

This is harder to explain that I expected it to be. It is interesting how we can want something from someone but not be able to explain what it actually looks like to receive it.

Fallon Siniscarco started us off by talking about active listening and not having a pity party (I can get behind that! There is nothing worse than trying to talk to someone about something and getting pity instead of empathy.)

Kevin Wash believes that some people have the ability to empathize and some people just can’t and that fake empathy is the worst. The two things he looks for from someone is honesty and sincerity when the empathize with him.

Dave Roberts explained it using terms that are often used in therapy and coaching – creating space. To show that they get without saying “I understand” if they have never been there.

I shared a specific story that recently happened to me. I don’t know that I shared the nuances of the situation well due to the time constraints of Quick Hits but Kevin and Dave disagreed with the way I handled it.

If you knew someone professionally, in the situation I described, what would you have done the same or differently?

Like I said at the top – it was an interesting conversation.

What do you expect from someone who is empathizing with you?

Connect with the panelists:

Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

Fallon Siniscarco: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fallon-siniscarco-889558267/

Student Utica university studying occupational therapy. She will be going to grad school in the fall to study the same.

Dave Roberts: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-roberts-56690513/

Teacher, co-author of the book When the Psychology Professor Met the Minister and a bereavement support specialist

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

Well, this wasn’t an easy conversation. As is the case with so many of the questions I ask, it depends. How much does it matter? Who is it hurting? Will it make any difference if I do/say something?

Judy Musa started us off in a great place – Am I sure that I am understanding the person who is giving the information and am I sure it is wrong? She went to verify her source before making a decision about doing anything else (smart).

Dr Bob Choat is a self-admitted researchaholic. People know to ask questions like “is this true” before sending him things because he will find the facts. He gave us several tips on how to educate ourselves so we aren’t spreading mis-information.

And Dawn Gagye shared how her dad encourages her children to be a little bit skeptical. Don’t believe everything they see/hear/read and think for themselves.

We talked about people who are dug into their bias and no amount of information will change their mind (not attractive I must say).

I can’t do this conversation justice here in the copy. Listen to it and then I have two questions:

And

What do you do about it?

Connect with the panelists:

Founder and managing partner at MoJJo Collaborative Communications where she does Strategic Communications and is a story teller, a Content Creator and Social Connector

Dr. Bob Choat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobchoat/

He has eight years military experience, worked with the LA PD , he is now the founder of the Integrated Mind Institute  and is going back to school for another PhD. This time in physics 

Dawn Gagye: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dawngagye/

She is a Strategic Marketing Guide and does Done for you marketing strategies that eliminate the stress and confusion

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com