R3ciprocity.com - Prof David Maslach: Innovation; Research Life; Striving Towards Happiness

Keep being weird as long as you possibly can and don’t let others push you around.

#Researchers: I’m living this reality alongside you.

My own life is extraordinarily boring, and academic research often feels like an isolating, lonely grind.

Nobody talks to researchers about the mundane parts of life—only about big successes or how tough it can be.

But here’s what I want you to know: being boring and feeling stuck is normal, and you’re doing okay.

I’m not here to tell you the glamorous stories or make it sound like it’s all terrible.

I’m here to say that if you’re just taking small steps forward, you’re doing the right thing. And even if nobody else says it, I’m in your corner, and I believe you’re on the right path.

Boring is good.

You will never have your life together, so stop believing people that you need to have your life together. Start embracing the maziness of a normal exploratory life.

This morning, I woke up at 5 a.m. because I couldn’t wait to share how much you matter. Before the Reciprocity Project, I felt so alone and isolated in the world of academic research. But as I built the platform, I realized that talking and connecting with others was what I needed—it changed everything for me. Now, after eight years of doing this, I’m still excited and grateful to be a part of your journey. So many people in academia feel isolated, and sometimes, all we need is to hear that we’re doing okay and that we matter. You’re not alone in this, and I’m here to remind you of that.

As a leader, balancing kindness and empathy with being tough is one of the hardest challenges you’ll face. If you’re too empathetic, people may take advantage of your good nature, driven by their own self-interests. But if you’re too ruthless, you risk creating a culture that feels cold and uninspiring. The key is finding a balance between being firm and setting clear boundaries while also encouraging and supporting others. It’s a constant struggle, but embracing this balance is what ultimately defines your leadership and the impact you make.

I have to push against the constant desire for status.

I desperately struggle with this.

It’s an incredibly difficult skill to master.

I deeply want people to “like” me and to prove that I’ve ‘made it’ in some way.

But to do good research, I have to remind myself that those things don’t matter, and I need to slow down to do the right thing.

This involves treating others with respect, and looking at the bigger picture.

Creating a fairer, more supportive academic environment requires time and resources, and it’s often painful to put in that effort.

Trust me, it never gets easier.

You learn to tolerate the hard decisions:

But choosing kindness , respect, and integrity over trying to impress is the only way I can contribute to making the world of research more just and meaningful.

Each day, make things right.

#Academic research creates both misery and enjoyment. The joy comes from the misery.

There’s something deeply satisfying about being dismissed by others.

“Screw you, I will show you to all of you who dismiss my work or ideas.”

That disregard fuels my drive, turning spite into energy.

Spite is incredibly powerful.

I want to quit “exercising” everyday — running and swimming sucks, but I say “screw you to the world, and do it anyway.”

I will never prove to you my worth, but I certainly can use your snobbish ways to fuel me.

Each time someone looks down on me, it just fuels me even more, like a big monster.

I will see you in a decade.

You will have to eat some crow.

When should you give up on your trees? Truth is we really never know it never makes sense to anybody else.

There’s no financial calculation that exists that tells you that you should stop. And there’s always waves to pursue entering indefinitely.

In academia, we often measure ourselves by arbitrary standards: the school we attended, our accomplishments, or how others view us. It creates a world of winners and losers, where some are always seen as better based on superficial traits. The truth is, you can’t fix that system. Others will always see the world this way, and you can’t change their perspective.

But what you can do is take time. Very few people take time for others, and when you do, even though it may seem like it harms your career, it enriches who you are as a person. Spending time with family, sharing a smile, or having a genuine conversation might not make you a “winner” in other people’s eyes, but it will make you happier and more fulfilled with who you are.