The stories we tell ourselves create the fear experience. I talk about the characters we create, the roles we play, and what that means in our storytelling. Can you identify the character and role you choose most often?

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7 Tips to Stopping Tantrums https://www.raisinggreatkids.net/deescalation-tools 

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Hi All! If you want to know the different pieces that go into our children's creation of thought patterns or programming, this is the episode to listen to. When we understand how children create their thought patterns we can more effectively help them.  

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7 Tips to Stopping Tantrums https://www.raisinggreatkids.net/deescalation-tools 

*** CONNECT WITH ME (Cynthia Armstrong) ***

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This hack can make a massive difference in the connection you feel with your child and in the connection your child feels with you. It may sound simple, but there are nuances to it that can make or break the connection. Listen to this episode and leave a comment below about where you are in the journey to connection.

www.raisinggreatkids.net

I've been there! I was stuck and not sure how to help my child. In this episode I share how the negative bias of our brain helps us to feel stuck, what I do to get unstuck, move forward, and help my children.

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Hi All! This is me talking about something I don't like about being a teacher that helped me become a better, more aware parent. It can be a bit tricky but worth it. How to keep gratitude gratitude and not let it turn into manipulation.

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Why rewards and punishments are NOT helpful. The difference between punishment and consequence. What we can use besides rewards & punishments?

Rewards and punishments decrease internal motivation. Rewards come with a built-in punishment, the withholding of the reward.

Internal motivation is when children do something because of characteristics they develop like responsibility or a sense of community. 

Rewards and punishments usually encourage children to feel that love is conditional.

Instead of rewarding externally, help children see their improvement. Seeing improvement helps children meet their needs for growth. Without the yes, no, all, or nothing associated with rewards and punishments, it helps children to feel love is unconditional. 

Instead of punishments & consequences, give children the opportunity to practice the skill they are struggling with. Practice allows children to develop a growth mindset and helps develop responsibility. 

If you got real value out of this video, then 'subscribe' to my channel and turn the notification on for more videos like this: https://bit.ly/RaisingGreatKidsYouTube 

Get the Free Guide: 

7 Tips to Stopping Tantrums https://www.raisinggreatkids.net/deescalation-tools 

*** CONNECT WITH ME (Cynthia Armstrong) ***

Youtube: https://bit.ly/RaisingGreatKidsYouTube 

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In school we use the PBIS or Positive Behavior Intervention & Supports (I called it something different in the video).

We focus on the behaviors we want in students or our children at home and reward them for those behaviors. 

What is the withholding of a reward? 

It is a punishment, though some say it is a consequence now. There is no way to only reward positive behaviors. 

Rewarding children externally motivates them. They learn to do things because it is helpful, kind, or benefits society. They do things to get a reward. Children come to need these rewards to feel that their psychological needs are being met. This causes all kinds of problems in relationships later in life. 

In the next episode I will talk about what we could do instead of rewarding or punishing children. 

Recommended Episodes

If you got real value out of this video, then 'subscribe' to my channel and turn the notification on for more videos like this: https://bit.ly/RaisingGreatKidsYouTube 

Get the Free Guide: 

7 Tips to Stopping Tantrums https://www.raisinggreatkids.net/deescalation-tools 

*** CONNECT WITH ME (Cynthia Armstrong) ***

Youtube: https://bit.ly/RaisingGreatKidsYouTube 

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In this episode, I talk about how physical and emotional pain shows up the same in the body. Understanding why we have physical pain can help us understand why we have emotional pain. 

People consider themselves as having emotional pain when they experience "negative" feelings. These can be sadness, depression, disappointment, anger, etc. 

"Negative" emotions are essential because they tell us something needs to change. When we have our hands on a hot stove or wear uncomfortable shoes that don't fit, we feel pain because there is something we need to change. 

Understanding the message of emotional pain will allow us to change things quickly. Avoiding "negative" emotions keep us there longer because we don't hear the message. 

Reach out to me if you would like more information on identifying the message of your "negative" emotions. 

Recommended Episodes

Children's Psychological Needs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJ6Mhh0lT1w&t=15s 

Using Power & Attention As Tools https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDuVA6NXZTY 

If you got real value out of this video, then 'subscribe' to my channel and turn the notification on for more videos like this: https://bit.ly/RaisingGreatKidsYouTube 

Get the Free Guide: 

7 Tips to Stopping Tantrums https://www.raisinggreatkids.net/deescalation-tools 

*** CONNECT WITH ME (Cynthia Armstrong) ***

Youtube: https://bit.ly/RaisingGreatKidsYouTube 

Facebook: https://bit.ly/FB-RaisingGreatKids 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggreatkidscynthia/ 

Twitter: @RaisingGreatKidWebsite: www.raisinggreatkids.net

In this episode, discover how lack of communication between different fields of study have impared our ability to help our child. 

Psychologists have been treating the symptoms rather than the actual root problem. It is like trying to treat an infection by taking medicine to reduce the fever. 

Neuroscientists have discovered the root problem for symptoms psychologists have diagnosed our children with. It is more effective to target the root problem to get rid of symptoms. 

This requires some shifting away of inaccurate beliefs and accepting of new information on our part. 

Recommended Episodes: 

Children Are Messed Up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnMq9ev6rII 

As Parents We Can't Know It All & It's Okay https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXlwSnK-hMg

If you got real value out of this video, then 'subscribe' to my channel and turn the notification on for more videos like this: https://bit.ly/RaisingGreatKidsYouTube 

Get the Free Guide: 

7 Tips to Stopping Tantrums https://www.raisinggreatkids.net/deescalation-tools 

*** CONNECT WITH ME (Cynthia Armstrong) ***

Youtube: https://bit.ly/RaisingGreatKidsYouTube 

Facebook: https://bit.ly/FB-RaisingGreatKids 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggreatkidscynthia/ 

Twitter: @RaisingGreatKidWebsite: www.raisinggreatkids.net

This is the biggest tip for creating a growth mindset, particually for those that are struggling with it.

Our brain is negatively biased so we and/or our children will automatically be looking for danger. This can make it hard to switch to a growth mindset. 

We can have a growth mindset in one or two areas of our lives but struggle to create a growth mindset in other areas of our lives. 

The biggest tip for a growth mindset may go against what you've been told not to do. Compare yourself to others! The trick is we are not comparing ourselves to judge other people or to build ourselves up. Compare yourself with the feeling of gratitude. 

We are taking what our brain does naturally, which is to look for negative things. Then we tweak it just a little to develop feelings of gratitude. That's what makes this the biggest tip especially for those who may be struggling with a growth mindset. It's not a complete change, it is just a little tweak. 

Recommended Episodes: 

Brain Motivators https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhsqrYcXw4k

Take Strength in Terrible Parenting https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izGRBtJGKtY

If you got real value out of this video, then 'subscribe' to my channel and turn the notification on for more videos like this: https://bit.ly/RaisingGreatKidsYouTube 

Get the Free Guide: 

7 Tips to Stopping Tantrums https://www.raisinggreatkids.net/deescalation-tools 

*** CONNECT WITH ME (Cynthia Armstrong) ***

Youtube: https://bit.ly/RaisingGreatKidsYouTube 

Facebook: https://bit.ly/FB-RaisingGreatKids 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggreatkidscynthia/ 

Twitter: @RaisingGreatKid

Website: www.raisinggreatkids.net