Orange baboon! What's up, bro? Have you banged any interns yet on the same desk that Bill banged Monica or what? Talk to me. C'mon, bro. You're lagging.

Let's all give a round of applause for my dad Sammy Shore! He's gonna outlive us all. Getting ready for his 90th birthday. God bless him.

So long, suckazz! Dude, why is your pee-pee so small? I love looking at naked Asian men, brozz!

Had such an awesome time with Allie Boo Boo and her family. Thank you for taking me in and showing me love. Son in Law 2016!!!

I'm living large, brozz! I Love fluffy hotel rooms on the road. Life was easier back in the day before our brains were all mush. Not cool, doodz!

Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, coming to Gilbert, AZ. OJ was great on the Bills.

Obsessed with MSN Lock Up. Definitely makes me feel better about my living situation. If two dudes can live in harmony in a 5x7 ft jail cell, I can live in my four-plex just fine. I'm tired. Goodnight.

Thank you so much for letting me bite into your big apple. Love the city! NYC is my second home.

There's fakes and posers, people who are not transparent. But his one's the real deal.

Yeah, dawg! Let's do this. I got back my mojo and I'm looking for a dojo... brooo!