RANKED with Charles & McCurdy

Follow along as we review each film in the James Bond series, ranking them against each other as we go. The list gets a little longer with every new episode, and in the end we'll have a complete ranking from top to bottom of our most favorite to least favorite. But no matter how high or low each movie goes, we love and adore each and every one of them, because nobody does it better than 007. So comment below with your personal ranking of these films and let us know if you agree or disagree with our list!

PREVIOUS EPISODE RANKED LIST:

ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE: This is our longest episode yet, frankly because this movie has so much to talk about. A new James Bond 007 joins the franchise as On Her Majesty's Secret Service sets out to drastically change the Bond-verse, but does it succeed or will it sink down our list? We have entered a new world people. The Connery formula has been reset as "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" brings with it a new approach, a new Bond, and a new Blofeld to boot, whom Bond James Bond has been searching for for the last two years. After a chance encounter with a young Countess named Teresa, Bond meets her father, Draco, the head of his own criminal organization. Draco points Bond in the direction of the evil head of Spectre, who is now running an allergy clinic in the Swiss Alps. Bond, posing as a genealogist, is invited to the clinic in order to confirm the nobility status of Blofeld, and discovers his latest evil plot, the worldwide distribution of a deadly virus via his angels of death, the patients of his clinic.

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*EON Productions Limited and Danjaq LLC are wholly owned and controlled by the Wilson/Broccoli family. Danjaq is the US based company that co-owns, with Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios, the copyright to the existing James Bond films and controls the right to produce future James Bond films. EON Productions, an affiliate of Danjaq, is the UK based production company that makes the James Bond films and together with Danjaq controls all worldwide merchandising.

Music by bensound.com

Follow along as RANKED reviews a new movie release every week of 2023, slowly compiling the best films of the year into a sacred hierarchical list.

Previous Episode RANKED List:

1. Infinity Pool
2. M3GAN
3. missing
4. Magic Mike’s Last Dance
5. Knock at the Cabin
6. Plane

Ant-Man 3: Ant-Man and the Wasp 2: Quantumania 1 marks a turn for the MCU, hopefully towards something to finally care about beyond the aimless wanderings of phase four following the exit of Marvel characters we actually care about. But so far as Ant-Man shenanigans go, all of the humor and really clever growing and shrinking scale gags of Scott Lang’s life on normal-sized Earth have been replaced by a visit to the quantum realm. Humanoid beings and weird alien-esque creatures coexist down there for some reason that is never really explored because they’re too busy setting up Marvel’s next Thanos-ian bad guy, a move by which ultimately it is Ant-Man himself who pays the price, because it kinda feels like any other avenger could have gone on this same adventure. The movie would have benefitted from stripping out half the main characters and refocusing the whole story around Scott reconnecting with his daughter Cassie, but at this point that’s too much to ask of Marvel who never permanently removes anyone, but only adds more and more characters over time, like a glutton with his butthole sewn shut. Eventually all that crap will ooze out of his other 6 holes because at a certain point, something’s gotta give.

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Follow along as we review each film in the James Bond series, ranking them against each other as we go. The list gets a little longer with every new episode, and in the end we'll have a complete ranking from top to bottom of our most favorite to least favorite. But no matter how high or low each movie goes, we love and adore each and every one of them, because nobody does it better than 007. So comment below with your personal ranking of these films and let us know if you agree or disagree with our list!

PREVIOUS EPISODE RANKED LIST:

YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE: Another battle for the bottom of the list as the gentlemen of RANKED argue the merits of Sean Connery's (almost) final James Bond 007 film. "You Only Live Twice" opens with the death of Bond James Bond, a ruse meant to throw his enemies (namely Spectre) off of his trail, allowing him to investigate the disappearance of an American space capsule, hijacked mid-flight by a mysterious enemy missile. Bond must locate the missing space ship before the Americans attack Russia, who they accuse of being behind the hijacking. Oh, and Bond turns Japanese.

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*EON Productions Limited and Danjaq LLC are wholly owned and controlled by the Wilson/Broccoli family. Danjaq is the US based company that co-owns, with Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios, the copyright to the existing James Bond films and controls the right to produce future James Bond films. EON Productions, an affiliate of Danjaq, is the UK based production company that makes the James Bond films and together with Danjaq controls all worldwide merchandising.

Follow along as RANKED reviews a new movie release every week of 2023, slowly compiling the best films of the year into a sacred hierarchical list.

Previous Episode RANKED List:

1. Infinity Pool
2. M3GAN
3. missing
4. Knock at the Cabin
5. Plane

Magic Mike’s Last Dance is about a woman going through a midlife identity crisis while the movie itself goes through its own end of franchise identity crisis. These movies used to be about fantasy and fun, and now suddenly they’re about female empowerment and how dancing can save the world or something. Oh please, how is it empowering to have a guys balls rubbed on your forehead.

Magic Mike 1 had me crying laughing while telling an interesting story about a guy trying to get out of the stripper game. Magic Mike 2 also had me crying laughing while telling an oddball bro-mantic road trip story about capturing past glories. Magic Mike 3 is about women justifying their selfish behavior by pretending that their degeneracy is about artistic expression or whatever.

This movie tries so hard to rise above the shameless fun of the previous installments by attempting to blend stripping and real theater stage acting to the point that it becomes as forced as Channing Tatum falling in love with an aging manic depressive divorcée.

I thought we were here to have fun, not spit in the face of actual highbrow art.

You know what these conservative art critics need to open their hearts and minds? A LAP DANCE! That’ll do the trick!!

Watch the excellent swan lake bus dance on YouTube, but skip this one and watch the original 2 instead. Those movies knew exactly what they were and they stuck to it, and goddamnit they were so much more fun.

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Follow along as we review each film in the James Bond series, ranking them against each other as we go. The list gets a little longer with every new episode, and in the end we'll have a complete ranking from top to bottom of our most favorite to least favorite. But no matter how high or low each movie goes, we love and adore each and every one of them, because nobody does it better than 007. So comment below with your personal ranking of these films and let us know if you agree or disagree with our list!

PREVIOUS EPISODE RANKED LIST:

THUNDERBALL: The ranking continues with the epic and spectacular Thunderball. While the movie is fantastical and fun, does its reach exceed it's grasp? Sean Connery returns for the biggest James Bond 007 movie yet. "Thunderball" once again pits James Bond against Spectre, the evil organization responsible for the events of Dr. No and From Russia With Love. The organization makes good on the "Extortion" portion of their name when they steal an atomic bomb from NATO, and threaten to destroy a major Western city if the NATO governments refuse to hand over a ton of money. When the entirety of MI6 is tasked with finding the bomb, Bond follows a lead to Nassau where he has a run-in with Emilio Largo, number 2 of Spectre, and the man responsible for the crime.

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Support the show by using these affiliate links:

If you enjoy our work, here's our crypto tip jar:

*EON Productions Limited and Danjaq LLC are wholly owned and controlled by the Wilson/Broccoli family. Danjaq is the US based company that co-owns, with Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios, the copyright to the existing James Bond films and controls the right to produce future James Bond films. EON Productions, an affiliate of Danjaq, is the UK based production company that makes the James Bond films and together with Danjaq controls all worldwide merchandising.

Follow along as RANKED reviews a new movie release every week of 2023, slowly compiling the best films of the year into a sacred hierarchical list.

Previous Episode RANKED List:

1. Infinity Pool
2. M3GAN
3. missing
4. Plane

Ever wonder what it would be like to be tied to a chair for hours on end while strangers beg you to off yourself? I certainly do now. M. Night you did it again, you managed to introduce an interesting premise, and then do absolutely nothing interesting with it. But I think this movie is a breakthrough for Mr. Shyamalan, a masterpiece of meta where he finally showcases his hatred for movie audiences by metaphorically tying us to our theater seats and forcing us to watch annoying people yell at each other for two hours. That’s what’s so brilliant about this film, it literally forces you to suffer the same fate as the same-sex couple featured in the movie, where they’re tied to a chair so some people can beg them to kill each other while they also kill one another one by one. Unfortunately nobody in the theater offered to smash my skull in. Unlike the two dads in this movie, after 15 minutes, I was dying to be dead. But at least I had Dave Bautista’s excellent performance to keep me company. Thanks Dave. F*ck you M. Night. Stop tricking me into giving you more chances. I swore you off after Lady in the Water & The Happening, but you keep tricking us with interesting trailers. Just stop it already.

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Follow along as we review each film in the James Bond series, ranking them against each other as we go. The list gets a little longer with every new episode, and in the end we'll have a complete ranking from top to bottom of our most favorite to least favorite. But no matter how high or low each movie goes, we love and adore each and every one of them, because nobody does it better than 007. So comment below with your personal ranking of these films and let us know if you agree or disagree with our list!

PREVIOUS EPISODE RANKED LIST:

GOLDFINGER introduces the first "super spy" elements into the James Bond 007 Series, and we argue the merits of the realistic spy drama of From Russia With Love versus the entertainingly absurd and fun Goldfinger. Oh, and there's also Pussy Galore... "Goldfinger" brings Bond James Bond to Miami, where he has a run in with a British businessman named Auric Goldfinger, the OG "man with the golden gun." Bond's mission is to investigate Goldfinger's involvement in illicit gold smuggling, which leads to the discover of a devious plot to take on Fort Knox and execute the largest bank heist in history...all for the love of GOOOOOOOLLLLLDDDDDDDD!!!!!

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*EON Productions Limited and Danjaq LLC are wholly owned and controlled by the Wilson/Broccoli family. Danjaq is the US based company that co-owns, with Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios, the copyright to the existing James Bond films and controls the right to produce future James Bond films. EON Productions, an affiliate of Danjaq, is the UK based production company that makes the James Bond films and together with Danjaq controls all worldwide merchandising.

Follow along as RANKED reviews a new movie release every week of 2023, slowly compiling the best films of the year into a sacred hierarchical list.

Previous Episode RANKED List:

1. 1. M3GAN
2. 2. missing
3. 3. Plane

What is an Infinity Pool?  An infinity pool is a symbol of wealth.

Infinity pool the movie is about just that, specifically the power that wealth affords, especially when it comes to the removal of consequence. We live in an age where nobody trusts any powerful institution or individual whatsoever because they seem to act with impunity while the rest of us are forced to follow the rules, and that’s exactly what we see onscreen, rich people vacationing at a Sandals-esque resort in a third world country where they literally get away with murder so long as they financially compensate the right authority figures who then pass the blame onto somebody else.

This film puts us in their position of privilege and forces us to consider how we would behave in their place. Why not treat others like pieces of meat if one can simply purchase oneself a scapegoat to bear the consequences?

Because after all, if there are no consequences, what incentive is there to behave decently whatsoever? Oh you’d still be a good person because you’re such a selfless and caring humanist? Well what if doing the right thing meant giving up your own life? Then what would you do?

What unfolds is a textbook tale of satanism. If Christianity is about self sacrifice for the benefit of others, this story is about sacrificing others for one’s own benefit, and how denying an individual the consequences of their actions and decisions effectively arrests their development. Over time, such people become nothing more than adult children.  And this is the idea at the core of the film: witnessing the terrifying and satanic behavior of adult children.

There are many, many parents today, especially those with power and influence, who think that by rescuing their children from consequences, that they are protecting their futures. In the end, all they do is create monsters, and all because such parents very selfishly refuse to face the short term pain and discomfort of seeing their child suffer punishment for their actions, punishment that would normally facilitate that child’s long term development into maturity.

For any of you out there considering raising your children this way, this movie is a warning for you. And a really, really disturbing one at that.

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Follow along as we review each film in the James Bond series, ranking them against each other as we go. The list gets a little longer with every new episode, and in the end we'll have a complete ranking from top to bottom of our most favorite to least favorite. But no matter how high or low each movie goes, we love and adore each and every one of them, because nobody does it better than 007. So comment below with your personal ranking of these films and let us know if you agree or disagree with our list!

PREVIOUS EPISODE RANKED LIST:

1. Dr. No 

FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE: RANKED continues with a discussion over the superiority of one James Bond 007 film: "Dr. No" versus "From Russia With Love." Spectre strikes back in this first ever sequel, which brings 007 to Istanbul, Turkey, where he's been tasked with bringing in a Russian defector (a sexy blonde woman) who claims she'll hand over the Russian's top secret Lektor Decoder, if he'll give her an English Breakfast *with extra sausage. What Bond doesn't know is that it's all a ploy by Spectre, playing the English and Russians against each other so they can steal the Lektor for themselves.

Find us on these platforms:

Support the show by using these affiliate links:

If you enjoy our work, here's our crypto tip jar:

*EON Productions Limited and Danjaq LLC are wholly owned and controlled by the Wilson/Broccoli family. Danjaq is the US based company that co-owns, with Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios, the copyright to the existing James Bond films and controls the right to produce future James Bond films. EON Productions, an affiliate of Danjaq, is the UK based production company that makes the James Bond films and together with Danjaq controls all worldwide merchandising. 

Follow along as RANKED reviews a new release every week of 2023, slowly compiling the best films of the year into a sacred hierarchical list.

Previous Episode RANKED List:

1. 1. M3GAN
2. 2. Plane

missing follows the digital life of a young girl named June, who, haunted by the death of her father and frustrated with the overbearing protectionism of her mother, is a stereotypically angsty “always on her devices” teen. But when mom goes missing while vacationing with her boyfriend overseas, June gets to work investigating the disappearance herself by utilizing her computer skills.

However, this is a gimmick movie, as we the audience are permanently tethered to her computer screen, making this something of a found footage flick mashed with a Snapchat addicted teenager’s wet hot fever dream, as the only images the audience sees beginning to end originate from the cameras of electronic devices and desktop windows.

And yet somehow even with this limitation, missing isn’t missing anything. It’s got action, romance, suspense, drama, twists and turns as a complex story of kidnapping and crime unfolds before your very eyes while never leaving the jurisdiction of the electronic world.

In fact, the only thing missing is missing is justification for this particular system of informational delivery. Why are we trapped inside a little girl’s computer. Are we a ghost? Are we artificial intelligence? Maybe this film is a brilliant statement forcing us to face our society-wide addiction to screens by literally turning us collectively into one big screen?!?!  Naw, it’s just what they wanted to do because they could, I guess. Hey Siri, how do I get my money back?

Just kidding, this movie is pretty good, but we have some caveats.

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