RANKED with Charles & McCurdy

Follow along as RANKED reviews a new release every week of 2023, slowly compiling the best films of the year into a sacred hierarchical list.

Previous Episode RANKED List:

1. M3GAN

Well here it is everyone, F you it’s January has officially arrived because we just watched a movie called Plane, the most appropriately titled film of the year thus far, because it’s just that: plain, as in generic, vanilla, a burger with no condiments or toppings, and barely any meat. It is exactly what one might expect from a movie simply titled Plane.

Captain Brodie Torrance is the captain of plane, and he flies plane through an electrical storm. Plane goes down along with about a dozen passengers, including a dangerous prisoner transferee named Gaspare because that definitely happens on commercial flights. 

Torrance manages to land plane safely, only to discover plane landed in hostile territory run by a violent militia group. These barbaric ruffians kidnap all of the passengers of plane, but not before Torrance and Gaspare manage to run off into the jungle and find some guns. 

Will this unlikely pair rescue the passengers before they’re all dead? Will Torrance ever get back to his stupid daughter? Will Gaspare find redemption by shooting a bunch of bad guys in the face? I found out because I saw the movie, but I still don’t know anything about these people, so I don’t care.

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RANKED takes its first step towards RANKING the top new releases of the year 2023.

First stop: another creepy doll movie...  But this time it’s been fused with the classic science fiction “machines will kill us all” trope. 

However, instead of Skynet launching atomic bombs, robot armies turning human beings into batteries, or any other dystopian dread of a dark AI controlled future, this story focuses on a clear and present threat that has already been here for years: technology taking the place of responsible parenting, especially in a world where it’s now normal (unfortunately for children) for both parents to be employed.

The story begins with a little girl named Katie who watches her parents die in a tragic car accident.

Now orphaned, Katie goes to live with her Aunt Jemma, a successful inventor within the electronic children’s toy industry who doesn’t have time for anything but work, let alone marriage, romance or children, ironically the very demographic she works so hard to sell toys to. Now responsible for a child of her own, Jemma goes from cool aunt to absent mother overnight. 

Struggling with this new role and stuck in her ways as a type A control freak, Jemma quickly turns to technology to babysit Katie so that Jemma can complete her work on a highly advanced revolutionarily human-like interactive doll named Megan. After somewhat selfishly testing out Megan on Katie in order to impress her boss and green light MEGAN for worldwide distribution, thereby showering Jemma in fame and fortune while simultaneously shirking off responsibility for Katie onto a machine substitute, Katie and Megan quickly become attached at the hip as Katie no longer sees megan as machine, but as a very human BFF.

Unfortunately, Megan slowly but surely turns into a Frankenstein’s Monster, a creation that has the thinking and physical power to take life without the check and balance of human emotion to value life. As Megan slowly but surely begins to protect Katie from environmental threats by increasingly violent means, Jemma attempts to shut Megan down. Seeing herself as a better mother than Jemma, the doll ultimately moves to violently usurp Jemma’s role as legal guardian permanently.

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Follow along as we review each film in the James Bond series, ranking them against each other as we go. The list gets a little longer with every new episode, and in the end we'll have a complete ranking from top to bottom of our most favorite to least favorite. But no matter how high or low each movie goes, we love and adore each and every one of them, because nobody does it better than 007. So comment below with your personal ranking of these films and let us know if you agree or disagree with our list!

DR. NO: In the inaugural episode of Ranked, we determine that Dr. No is the best Bond film of all time, out of 1 films. We also delve into the history of the James Bond franchise and the men behind it's success: the original author of the novels, Ian Fleming, and the producers of the film franchise, Cubby Broccoli and Harry Saltzman. Also, Sean Connery is God.

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*EON Productions Limited and Danjaq LLC are wholly owned and controlled by the Wilson/Broccoli family. Danjaq is the US based company that co-owns, with Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios, the copyright to the existing James Bond films and controls the right to produce future James Bond films. EON Productions, an affiliate of Danjaq, is the UK based production company that makes the James Bond films and together with Danjaq controls all worldwide merchandising.