⚠️TRIGGER WARNING - SENSITIVE CONTENT THAT MAY BE TRIGGERING - includes references to domestic violence & abusive relationships. ⚠️ Hey guys! Hope all is well and that you guys are having a good Monday. I've been working on this episode for a while (it is by far the longest podcast I have recorded!) and this is about a subject that I know has sadly affected many people out there, not just me. So many of us have come from difficult family backgrounds, often with deadbeat parents who are no longer involved in our lives (this could be a mum or a dad.) This podcast talks about my own personal struggle with a deadbeat father who I have not spoken to since the age of 15, and how this has shaped/prepared me for adult life. This is a really difficult thing for me to discuss, and it may drag up memories for those of you who have been through anything similar. I am currently on my own mental health journey of working on myself and changing my attitudes to the world around me, and to do that I had to get right to the root cause of my feelings, emotions and behaviour. For that, I had to dig deep and uncover some uncomfortable truths about a scarring relationship (or lack thereof) with my father, and how this has influenced me as a person. I hope this is helpful to anybody who has been through anything similar. It was helpful for me just to get it out and hear everything being said, to be fair. If you have experienced this, or anything similar, I am genuinely so sorry - just know that it was not your fault and they are to blame and are the ones missing out - not you. ❤

Hey guys... massive honesty rant tonight I'm afraid 😂 you've probably heard a lot about my stance on body positivity recently. I wanted to talk about body shaming in families. I had some family over recently, and they were Facetiming my family abroad. I heard my uncle call me fat in a different language when he caught sight of me on camera and felt instantly awful about myself. It's crazy how people have so much to say behind your back, but as soon as they're in front of you - radio silence. I just wanted to talk a bit more about this subject as it is a personal topic for me, and I feel as though it just needs to be discussed more, particularly if it runs deep and feeds into other aspects of mental health. Just a little reminder for those of you who are struggling with this - you wouldn't put up with this kind of treatment from a stranger, a colleague, a partner or friend. So don't put up with it from a so-called family member either. Blood isn't everything. Makes me wonder... do people not have anything better to do? Ask me about my degree, or job, or how I've coped during the pandemic... speaking of which, anyone who would rather bitch about your body behind your back during a GLOBAL PANDEMIC of all times (!!!!?!) needs to be straight up CANCELLED. Right. That'll be all. Happy (or angry) listening everyone ❤

Hey! I know I don't normally release two podcasts on the same day, but this one wouldn't leave my head. So... results day. Bit of a shit show, isn't it? That's an understatement. Today in the UK, sixth form pupils all over England, Wales and Northern Ireland waited anxiously for their A-level results (Scotland's were released last week.) As you'll probably know if you're living in the UK, pupils who were set to take exams during summer 2020 had their exams cancelled earlier this year, and it was announced by the government during lockdown that the grades were going to be calculated using an algorithm, mock results, as well as recommendations of exam boards and teachers nationwide. Unfortunately, the education secretary's plan has spectacularly unravelled, with 40% of pupils being downgraded in at least one subject at the eleventh hour, and hundreds calling for an appeal as their post 18-plans hang in the balance due to an unfair so-called grading system. My heart goes out to all of you guys who have been affected by this, as well as the GCSE students still awaiting results. I sat my own A-levels four years ago and I honestly cannot believe the injustice of this. But for those affected and anyone who might be - I just wanted to say that your grades are NOT a true reflection of you, your intelligence or personality.

If you find yourself beating yourself up and asking yourself a constant stream of questions such as: "Why is she so much prettier/skinnier/funnier than me?" "Why am I not good enough?" "Why am I not in a relationship?" "Why don't I have a house/good job/family?" Why???? ... then this one is for you. I struggle massively with comparing myself to other people to a point where it is insecure and unhealthy - in every aspect of my life. You wouldn't treat your worst enemy like that, would you, so why would you treat yourself and put yourself down like that? You are incomparable to other people. I need to take my own advice... 😂 Happy listening and have a lovely day all ❤

Have you ever badly needed to move on from something? Most likely. A place, a person, a memory. I get where you're coming from. It can be really hard to know when to move on and what to do next, but that doesn't mean it's not the right choice. If something is not bringing you joy and happiness anymore, then walk away. You don't deserve to be this sad over something you have no control over - focus on bettering the other aspects of your life and letting things go.

"No". A two letter word, short but sweet. Well, okay, maybe not so sweet, but it gets the point across. One of the easiest words to pronounce in the English Language, yet one of the hardest words to say. Well, start saying it. Respect your boundaries and say no to anything that doesn't make you happy - family, religion, relationships, sex, work, anything. Live life for yourself rather than people pleasing - they'll only be pleased for about three seconds before they find something else to moan about! Happy listening ❤ if you're liking the podcast leave me a voice note on Anchor or a message on Instagram: @shaiandawkward 🌈 have a great day ❤

*⚠️DISCLAIMER - CONTAINS SENSITIVE CONTENT THAT MAY BE UPSETTING/TRIGGERING. ⚠️Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) is a recognised mental health condition that both men and women suffer from, relating to negative ideologies of their body image. It commonly affects teenagers and young adults, but can affect people of any age. This subject is close to my heart, having dealt with traits of BDD since the age of 9. Whether you have been diagnosed officially or simply have traits of BDD, it can still have a huge, profound effect on your life, relationships, work, mental health, physical health, self-esteem and self-confidence. In terms of mental health, BDD or traits of BDD can often lead to self-harm, anxiety, depression, or suicidal thoughts. There are a number of different BDD triggers for everyone which vary from person to person, but most commonly triggers include: weighing scales, clothes sizes and shops, changing rooms, mirrors, etc. BDD can be caused by genetic factors, often being diagnosed in those who are related to people suffering from conditions such as depression, and can also be caused by mental triggers such as past bullying and abuse either in school, work, or at home with family. For more information on BDD please read this: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20353938 Thank you so much for listening. This episode is truly very close to my heart and if you are suffering/have suffered from BDD, an eating disorder or anything similar, my heart goes out to you because it is one of the hardest things to go through. Thanks for listening and have an amazing day ❤

Do you ever find yourself completely overreacting to a scenario you've practically conjured up in your own head? Or maybe you struggle to contain your reactions to certain events in your life - even if you keep the negative emotions to yourself (which is probably worse than sharing them.) Tune in to find out how I deal with this... thanks for listening and have the best day ❤

Hey all 😊 how's it going? Welcome to Episode 16 of Rant Room. I wanted to discuss how difficult it can be to ask for help and face up to your fears (in any sense), as well as discussing my own experiences of asking for help, and why I wish I had done it sooner. Independence doesn't mean coping on your own 100% of the time - it means being strong and brave enough to know when to ask for help. If you are on this journey, I applaud you because I know how difficult it can be, but I promise, as hard as it is to get help you will absolutely not regret it. Have the best day and happy listening ❤ Leave me a voice note on Anchor or follow my Instagram @shaiandawkward ❤🌈

Independence...dependence... and no, I don't mean independent and dependent variables. There was a reason that I failed all my science GCSEs and A level psychology (because I didn't know the difference!) Dependence can be a tricky subject for many of us, and is something needed to form bonds and support others/be supported... but is there such a thing as being TOO dependent? Yes there is - codependency. Here are a few words about codependency, how to avoid it and take some steps to living a fuller, more independent life for you instead of those around you. Happy listening and have the best day! ❤ please leave a voice note via Anchor or contact me on Instagram! 😊 @shaiandawkward