Re-tired: New Tread

Tina and Sue wrap up their book club discussion of This American Ex-Wife: How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life by Lyz Lenz. Tina is back in SoCal and recording from her sunny outdoor office.

Sue and Tina feel differently about marriage after divorce. Sue declares herself a product of her upbringing and still embraces the ideals of romantic love. The choice to be remarried includes the requirement of true partnership and the legal protections that society endows on the institution. Tina is still in the healing process, believing that a reciprocal promise to the other is enough. Both agree that settling for a mediocre partnership is not a Dutch Treat. The gals leave you with some sound advice about freedom and choice.

References:

This American Ex-Wife: How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life by Lyz Lenz

Sue Britz: Cohost/Producer/Director/Editor/Music & Graphics

Tina Lokkbakk: Cohost, author of After the Burn & the blog "Life After Estrangement" at lifeafterestrangement.com

Facebook: Re-tired Podcast New Tread

email: [email protected]

This podcast is meant for sheer enjoyment and to explore our re-tirement experiences and those of our guests. Nothing we say is meant to be given as psychological, medical, or legal advice.

All rights reserved.

Tina and Sue continue their book club discussion of This American Ex-Wife: How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life by Lyz Lenz with Chapters 8 - 12.

They discuss the cost that a patriarchal society and some churches exact on a pregnant teen girl for HER sin, while the boy continues on without the responsibility. Then on to the sexualization of single women, and reclaiming of self and body after divorce. How women feel liberation from the drain of neediness, and the extra work in an unequal relationship.

What IS a good man? To simplify the answer, perhaps we create a society that emphasizes the socialization of men to be appropriate in their behaviors rather than the status quo of women having to deflect and defend behaviors and actions that are unsafe/unwanted/disempowering/blaming?

Oh, and man spreading on airplanes and not following convention consideration in walkways -- what are your strategies?

References:

This American Ex-Wife: How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life by Lyz Lenz

Sue Britz: Cohost/Producer/Director/Editor/Music & Graphics

Tina Lokkbakk: Cohost, author of After the Burn & the blog "Life After Estrangement" at lifeafterestrangement.com

Facebook: Re-tired Podcast New Tread

email: [email protected]

This podcast is meant for sheer enjoyment and to explore our re-tirement experiences and those of our guests. Nothing we say is meant to be given as psychological, medical, or legal advice.

All rights reserved.

From country music and changing names, to house remodels and body autonomy, Tina and Sue continue their book club discussion of This American Ex-Wife: How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life by Lyz Lenz.

Liz utilizes our Re-tired metaphor, "Let the past be the past, people told me. Don't look in the rearview mirror. Keep going forward. I've always hated that metaphor. Because looking behind you is an essential part of driving. If a car you are driving hits something, you look in the rearview mirror to see what it was . You pause, you assess. You pull over to take care of the damage ... So many marriages are are built on intentional ignorance -- the things we refuse to acknowledge."

The gals agree, that while hard, divorce has never -- not ever -- been a thoroughly informed decision they have regretted.

References:

This American Ex-Wife: How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life by Lyz Lenz

Sue Britz: Cohost/Producer/Director/Editor/Music & Graphics

Tina Lokkbakk: Cohost, author of After the Burn & the blog "Life After Estrangement" at lifeafterestrangement.com

Facebook: Re-tired Podcast New Tread

email: [email protected]

This podcast is meant for sheer enjoyment and to explore our re-tirement experiences and those of our guests. Nothing we say is meant to be given as psychological, medical, or legal advice.

All rights reserved.

What is the moment when you know the marriage is over? Tina and Sue discuss and relate to their first "book club" read they share with listeners, This American Ex-Wife: How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life by Lyz Lenz. In the nonfiction manifesto of her life after divorce, Lyz starts with the end and ends with the start.

Decades ago, both Tina and Sue entered idealistically into their marriages with expectations of equal partnership. Like Lenz, they found that the reality of an institution that benefits the patriarchal structures of society, the promise of fairness and love could not co-exist. As Tina states, "Marriage should be helpful, not hurtful." The pain of enduring such failed relationships forged the strength to choose healthy, brave futures.

References:

This American Ex-Wife: How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life by Lyz Lenz

Sue Britz: Cohost/Producer/Director/Editor/Music & Graphics

Tina Lokkbakk: Cohost, author of After the Burn & the blog "Life After Estrangement" at lifeafterestrangement.com

Facebook: Re-tired Podcast New Tread

email: [email protected]

This podcast is meant for sheer enjoyment and to explore our re-tirement experiences and those of our guests. Nothing we say is meant to be given as psychological, medical, or legal advice.

All rights reserved.

Friend and colleague, Meera Ekkanath Klein joins Sue and Tina to talk about her newest novel, Sunshine Clinic. It's the book three stand-alone story that wraps up the series about a family that lives in a matrilineal village in the state of Kerala, India.

The gals talk with Meera about how she was pointed in the "write" direction by a local doctor when she was young, how food can be healing to your soul, and how she begins her writing with her eyes closed. Her novels are women-centered and culturally rich. Meera folds in details about food with vivid imagery that, as a reader, you can almost taste.

Meera's next tread is a cozy mystery series set in a tea stall in her childhood India. Of course, food will be a mainstay.

Sunshine Clinic A Novel With Recipes Book 3

Seeing Ceremony A Novel With Recipes Book 2

My Mother's Kitchen A Novel With Recipes

all by Meera Ekkanath Klein and available on Amazon or at

www.meeraklein.com

Sue Britz: Cohost/Producer/Director/Editor/Music & Graphics

Tina Lokkbakk: Cohost, author of After the Burn & the blog "Life After Estrangement" at lifeafterestrangement.com

Facebook: Re-tired Podcast New Tread

email: [email protected]

This podcast is meant for sheer enjoyment and to explore our re-tirement experiences and those of our guests. Nothing we say is meant to be given as psychological, medical, or legal advice.

All rights reserved.

We all make wrong turns. Of course, GPS has eased the challenges and pleasures of map reading and having to stop to ask directions. Wrong turns can be aggravating and feel like a waste of time, but Tina and Sue have more often found adventure and learning from such moments. Gratefully, Tina didn't need the Heimlich maneuver, the Benedictine sisters have women's backs, and the police that wrongly arrested Amanda Knox (not Cox) didn't make an appearance during Sue's wrong turn in Modena. Sue's wrong turn takes her mind to scenes from The Bates Motel and Silence of the Lambs, but not to worry!

Sue Britz: Cohost/Producer/Director/Editor/Music & Graphics

Tina Lokkbakk: Cohost, author of After the Burn & the blog "Life After Estrangement" at lifeafterestrangement.com

Facebook: Re-tired Podcast New Tread

email: [email protected]

This podcast is meant for sheer enjoyment and to explore our re-tirement experiences and those of our guests. Nothing we say is meant to be given as psychological, medical, or legal advice.

All rights reserved.

The road to re-tirement requires that moment when you know it's the time. It's the moment when there's a change, a putting on of new treads. In this episode, Tina and Sue explore the "When You Know" idea as it relates to other changes besides retirement. Trust the journey and find value in the journey itself.

Sue Britz: Cohost/Producer/Director/Editor/Music & Graphics

Tina Lokkbakk: Cohost, author of After the Burn & the blog "Life After Estrangement" at lifeafterestrangement.com

Facebook: Re-tired Podcast New Tread

email: [email protected]

This podcast is meant for sheer enjoyment and to explore our re-tirement experiences and those of our guests. Nothing we say is meant to be given as psychological, medical, or legal advice.

All rights reserved.

Tina and Sue wish you a very happy Mother's Day! While many people delight in celebration of their mothers and/or becoming a mother, others are dealing with sadness, loss, estrangement, or anger. All feelings are valid and deserve to be heard.

Sue Britz: Cohost/Producer/Director/Editor/Music & Graphics

Tina Lokkbakk: Cohost, author of After the Burn & the blog "Life After Estrangement" at lifeafterestrangement.com

Facebook: Re-tired Podcast New Tread

email: [email protected]

This podcast is meant for sheer enjoyment and to explore our re-tirement experiences and those of our guests. Nothing we say is meant to be given as psychological, medical, or legal advice.

All rights reserved.

Part of Re-tired is looking for and spreading beauty. Tina & Sue conduct a little free association of their recent travel adventures. Acts of service, books, comida, Dr. Seuss, trees, and Pearl Harbor are the topics of this week's episode.

Check out our Facebook page for videos about Lou Conter, the last survivor of the attack on the USS Arizona in Pearl Haror, and Sue's video of her visit.

References:

"Oh, The Places You'll Go!" by Dr. Seuss

Sue Britz: Cohost/Producer/Director/Editor/Music & Graphics

Tina Lokkbakk: Cohost, author of After the Burn & the blog "Life After Estrangement" at lifeafterestrangement.com

Facebook: Re-tired Podcast New Tread

email: [email protected]

This podcast is meant for sheer enjoyment and to explore our re-tirement experiences and those of our guests. Nothing we say is meant to be given as psychological, medical, or legal advice.

All rights reserved.

From Santeria to the Tropicana and polydactyl cats, Tina and Sue talk about all things Cuban. Sue shares her glee of having met a couple of famous Cuban Americans, while Tina talks about her obsession with vintage Mafiosos. Outwardly, these topics may not seem to relate to re-tirement, but ADVENTURE is the new tread.

Sue Britz: Cohost/Producer/Director/Editor/Music & Graphics

Tina Lokkbakk: Cohost, author of After the Burn & the blog "Life After Estrangement" at lifeafterestrangement.com

Facebook: Re-tired Podcast New Tread

email: [email protected]

This podcast is meant for sheer enjoyment and to explore our re-tirement experiences and those of our guests. Nothing we say is meant to be given as psychological, medical, or legal advice.

All rights reserved.